Social Media vs. Reality

I use my Instagram account to post moments in my life that I want to share. The moments in between aren’t captured in that photo, video, or reel. Truthfully, though, those moments are what make up who I am, how I act, and the person that you see in the posts. I try to be as honest as possible on my social media feed. I’m pretty much willing to talk about anything and everything that’s plaguing my day to day life. One thing that I do want all my readers to know, though, is there’s a difference in my social media versus reality. No matter how hard I try, there’s going to be things that I might not find relevant for a whole post, but that happen to me at the same rate as any other 23 year old woman.

I Have Dating Problems

I have chosen to put my whole life online. In doing so, I’ve shared stories about past relationships and things that are about as un-sexy as it comes. One thing that I needed to learn was that not everyone signed up for this life. I’ve had to be very cognizant to communicate first, analyze, and only share when I’ve actually gained something worth sharing.

Anyone can pick up a laptop, open WordPress, and type all the grievances they have with their partner. Not only does that make for highly negative content, but it’s also not great for resolving any issues. So, though you might not see a bunch of content on it, I do have the dating problems like most 20-somethings have.

I’m on the stupid dating apps. I get ghosted from time to time and take it way too personally. I have absolutely said, “I’ll probably end up alone,” in the last year even though I would smack any of my followers for saying the same. That’s what this blog is about. My mindset about life is not always perfect. The actions and words that I have in certain situations occasionally end up being mistakes. EmyDBlog, however, is a place of acceptance past all of the supporting moments in your life so that you can truly enjoy the IG-worthy ones!

I Worry About Money

I’ve absolutely talked about money problems on here, right? It’s definitely one of my biggest stressors in life. It’s not even because I constantly struggle – I just don’t feel like I have the best relationship with money. When I have a lot, I feel like I should be doing something to make more. When I don’t have much, I feel like a failure.

My parents are ready to transfer money to me when I need it after one single phone call, but part of me would rather sell my kidney. Why is that? I don’t post about money often because it gives me goosebumps and truthfully, I look to other people for guidance.

If there’s one thing I know, it’s that I’m not an expert at finances, saving, or investing. For that kind of information, I go elsewhere. So, unless it could value my followers in a feeling of community, there’s no reason for me to spend time talking about a topic that stresses me out. Be warned, though, when I do finally understand how stocks work and I’m making hand over fist… it’s OVER for you guys.

I Have Mental Health Issues

This is something that I’ve posted a lot about. As a mental health blogger, I’ve been very open about the fact that I have bad days. My bad days are not only the ones that I post online, just like I have a lot of great moments that my iPhone can’t capture.

Sometimes, my days might be a little too dark to sum up in an Instagram post. It’s not because I don’t want to share it – I feel that’s an important role that I’ve taken on. Nope, it’s because I haven’t always found the right words to wrap round it.

So, yes. I allow you into my struggle most of the time. One of my favorite quotes, though, is “just because I’m carrying it with ease doesn’t mean it isn’t heavy.” In other words, just because I’ve gotten used to sharing and being vulnerable doesn’t mean that it doesn’t still take courage and motivation every single time to get through.

I Have Body Image Issues

My friends and family are quite literally saints. They’re willing to take one million photos of me just for me to say none of them are good enough. Usually, I hate the angle, the way my chin looks, or how my stomach looks just a little too big. As a body positivity blogger, this is problematic.

Every word I’ve said about loving your body is true. I have learned to stifle out the hatred for my body with love. It doesn’t, however, mean that I don’t have to constantly work at having a positive mindset. I have days where I change out of my dress to wear leggings instead. I have bad days just like any other human being!

When you see the photos of me being a strong, confident queen, that’s the truth. But, you also need to realize that I have moments where I have to work on my inner dialogue and be nicer to myself that you don’t see on those tiny Instagram squares.

The Takeaway

Social media can be a beautiful thing. It can also be horrendously ugly. Each post is a snapshot of one moment, one event, one memory in time. It doesn’t include all the other tiny things leading up to that photo – both good and bad.

The grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side. But, rather than obsessing over someone else’s grass… why don’t we try watering our own? Why don’t we start to love what we’re posting because it makes us FEEL good? What if we operated under the assumption that everyone’s social media is the highlight reel of their life because no one is going to include the embarrassing fumbles or screw ups in there. Even those of us who are willing to share some of the screw ups still can only share snapshots in time. I can’t share both sides, the whole thing, or every emotion even if I wanted to! Social media is not reality, my friends. Remember that.

5 Tips to Help Seasonal Allergies

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** This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission, at no cost to you, if you make a purchase through one of the links! **

Seasonal allergies have got me absolutely miserable some days. I’m not sure if it’s some sick joke, but on the days I need to be the most focused my allergies seem the worst. I didn’t start dealing with allergies until my late teens, so learning to deal with them has been a process. Unlike kids with a lot of allergies already, I wasn’t used to keeping Claritin or Benadryl around at all times. However, I’ve done some research, suffering, and thriving through allergy season that gives me 5 tips to help seasonal allergies.

Nasal Spray

I’m not a huge fan of things up my nose, but nasal sprays have done me well in allergy season. Any brand of saline nasal spray will work, but I typically reach for Flonase. I have to blow my nose all the time, so any sort of relief is appreciated.

In this time, we’re wearing masks which seems to make the sniffling even worse. I’ve found that using a nasal spray has been a cleaner way to subside the sniffles and sneezing for an extended period of time.

Definitely follow the directions on the box, though! Every nasal spray has a maximum amount of times you’re supposed to use the product per day. OVeruse may have an opposite effect on your already allergy-ridden nose.

Hot Showers

Hot showers are a year-round thing for me, but they’ve been Heaven-sent for me during allergy season. I had bronchitis a couple of years back which seems to stick with you whenever you have respiratory issues.

Adding some hot water vapor into your life can soothe your airways and it can also relax the muscles that tend to tense up in allergy season. It’s a cheap way of getting the effects of a humidifier without the actual machine & very quickly!

Putting eucalyptus in your shower is also insanely helpful. You can buy it at Trader Joe’s or other grocery stores. Once you set the fresh plant in your shower, it will release essential oils to help you out!

Essential Oils

I’m not overly knowledgeable about essential oils. A simple Google or Pinterest search would answer a lot of the questions on why these things work. I just know that they really do work for me, especially when I don’t want to load up my body with allergy medication. As I said before, I’ve used eucalyptus in it’s all natural form. I’ve only really worked with a couple forms of essential oils, but they can be purchased through actual dealers or online!

My allergies cause me to get tension headaches with which I don’t want to take medication on top of my allergy pills. I’ve chosen to reach for rollersticks that contain peppermint. Again, I’m not sure why this voodoo magic works…but it does. It relieves a ton of tension in my head and neck! I have this one, if you’re looking!

Sometimes, I have trouble getting to sleep as well. I use lavender spray for my pillows along with melatonin to get as much sleep as possible! Allergies can keep you up and definitely make you toss around. This way, I feel as comfortable as possible in bed in a natural way. I tried it for the first time with the Bath and Body Works brand, but there are cheaper options that are a little more Apothecary-like (this one).

Heating Pad

I actually discovered my undenying need for a heating pad accidentally. My lower back was killing me. I bought a heating pad thinking that I’d use it until it felt better and then it would collect dust. NOPE.

Similar to the hot shower thing, keeping that heat on my back or chest while I sleep has been hugely helpful in easing muscle tension. When I sneeze it doesn’t feel like all my bones are about to break (as much). Plus, it’s super comforting! For single queens like me, it’s nice to have a little warmth in your bed!

I picked mine up at Target! It’s in the size XXL so I can move around and even wrap around my shoulder or my hip if I need to! However, I just found one from Sunbeam on Amazon that’s the exact same size and cheaper. If I can’t get the savings, you guys should!

Medicine

Since most of these are pretty natural ways of combating seasonal allergies, I also want to include my daily go-to. Allergy medication has pretty much saved my life for a couple years. I personally take Benadryl, Claritin, or an off-brand non-drowsy!

As I’ve said before on EmyD, I’m not against taking medication when it’s necessary. However, it’s not something I would love to do if there’s other options. There are certain days I wake up feeling like someone is holding my nose. I start those days out with coffee and Claritin.

Even though you can pick up allergy medication just about anywhere, it doesn’t mean that it will affect everyone the same way. Benadryl still makes me unreasonably sleepy when I take it. In fact, I’m so tired I probably shouldn’t be operating machinery. When I first started taking allergy medication, I found that having any residual caffeine in my body along with the pill would make me feel intoxicated. Weird, right?

Like every other medication, be safe about your use with it! Talk to your doctor if you have concerns when it comes to other medications or your lifestyle! They may even be able to give you something that’s prescription and personalized for you!

The Allergy Takeaway

Allergies totally suck. There’s no ifs, ands, or buts about that. Fall is too pretty to spend it absolutely miserable though! You deserve to get out to the pumpkin patch, go one walks, and have your windows open without feeling like you’re going to sneeze out the contents of your brain.

Like I said, fall is way too cute to miss out on! Check out our balcony!

This year is even more tricky! We’re trying especially hard not to get sick. On the bright side, though, everyone is being more cognizant of washing their hands! That means tracking a lot of the things we’re allergic to from outside to inside might be lowered.

If you’re feeling totally exhausted from allergies, I feel you. I hope that you find relief in any of these five tips to help with seasonal allergies. If not, I hope that you find your own way to work through them. (And then share it with me!) We’re in this together!

Do have allergies? Tell me your tips and tricks through my socials below!

The Biggest Mistake A Budding Influencer Can Make

Influencers are All Different

I work with a lot of different types of influencers. I work with women who are younger than me and working on brand deals. Each day I text moms that are just kind of breaking into the space. I have two clients that have written successful books you can find on Amazon!! Crazy.

No one follower in your audience is the same. Sure, they might share interests. Like you and I, however, they all have different experiences and lives that make them really relate to different stories. Where one follower might go nuts with GRWM (Get Ready With Me) video from one influencer, makeup might truly not be her thing at all.

The need for influencers of different age ranges, sexual orientations, career paths, interests, ethnicities, and just general focuses is SO important. It’s what Instagram pictures are different when you’re scrolling through. It is also what provides valuable information to EVERYONE on the platform, rather than just Gen Z users.

The Big Whammy

If there’s one nugget of free PR advice you take from me when it comes to Instagram, it’s do NOT participate in buying followers. Buying bots to act as place holders for real people on your page does nothing for your journey to making money on IG. Sure, that number looks really pretty but it essentially means nothing.

Companies can tell the quality of your interactions and your followers. When they see that you have 35 followers with a different variation of “@Sarah123456” you don’t look like a credible person to partner with. Also, you don’t really have a “following” to promote their product to as they’re not looking to market to bots.

Engagement Rate

I’ve come across accounts that have hundreds of thousands of followers that get 1,000 likes on a photo. That’s a problem. That means that the quality of your following is low. Even if they are real people, they’re not actively participating in the content that you’re posting. Again, that’s a red flag that you couldn’t sell a product for a company aka no brand deals!

My clients at EmyD Media and I are ALWAYS working toward the golden 20% engagement ratio. It’s absolutely not easy and requires time, patience, and good content. Even with an amazing engagement rate, brand deals are not a given! For more information about where your engagement rate can use some tweaking, contact me through the “Work with Me” tab!

Bonus Advice

Just because I like you guys so much, I’ll even give you a little more information. Stop participating in those buy-in follow giveaways. It’s a waste of money to watch your engagement rate absolutely TANK.

If you want to do a giveaway where you’re spending money, buy the product/giftcard/etc yourself as an investment that you would have spent into the buy-in. Make yourself the ONLY person that you have to follow in this transaction. No user wants to follow 15 other accounts for a chance to win a gift card. Also, odds of all those people interacting with you after the giveaway is over is small – again, tanking your engagement rate.

Unless you’re consistently doing little giveaways, they are just another way of buying followers. Your content should be what attracts people to your page, not your money! Believe me, there’s influencers making a LOT of money who aren’t paying their followers a cent of it monetarily. They give back in more quality content, better equipment, and more opportunities to connect!

Was this helpful to you? Get in touch with me through any of my socials below!

Being Proud of Your Decisions

Queen Indecisive

Nothing is promised to you in this life. There’s nothing that we’ve learned more clearly in a global pandemic than that lesson. Honestly, it makes being indecisive a little easier when you feel like a lot is riding on virtually every decision that you make. I mean, sure it might just be what we’re having for dinner but what if the love of my life is at the OTHER place. Yes, that’s dramatic; however, you get the point.

For a majority of my life, I’ve absolutely not been good at making decisions. I really dislike disappointing people and I don’t want to be the one to blame if things go wrong. I eventually learned that it’s a little thing called Social Anxiety that inhibits making decisions that involve others. As my mental health got worse, I was indecisive because I didn’t want the attention to be on me. It was the perfect storm.

There comes a time, though, that you have to start making decisions. If not for everyone in the room, at least for yourself. You can make them and think about all the things that could have been. Or, you can make them and be content in the decision that you made.

What Could Have Been

I’m sure we all have a moment in our life that we would take back if we could. I’ve absolutely said things that should never have come out of my mouth. I have also dated men that were just plain old bad to me. I’ve gone back to men that were bad to me.

Honestly, a lot of the poor decisions that we make come from a lack of confidence in our own decision making ability. We seem to second guess ourselves and think of all the things that “should’ve, would’ve, or could’ve” happened. Things definitely would have turned out differently, but better? Nobody will ever know. Nothing is promised in this life. Spending your time wishing you’d gone with another decision rather than leaning into the one you’ve already made seems like a BIG waste of time.

Mistake Versus Decision

I made the conscious decision to go back to men that were not treating me very nicely. Even when I talk about it now, I don’t think that I’d change it. Some part of me needed to learn what I was worth through heartbreak and a bunch of tears. Saying something that you don’t mean, however, is a mistake. Like, decision-making, it’s important to come to terms with your mistakes, take responsibility, and move the eff on! There’s nothing worse, however, than someone standing by a mistake as if it was a decision they consciously made.

For example, if you’re wrong about information you said and a friend calls you out on it. Unless you preemptively planned on spreading false information, it was a mistake. You don’t have to stand your ground to be right when you make a mistake. All the cool kids are saying sorry about behavior, thoughts, and actions that aren’t right these days – get with it!

Being Proud of Your Decisions

I watched Sullivan tell a person of authority from his school his truth. He was proud of his decision to take a beat. He knows that though it’s not right for everyone, it’s what’s right for him. Making decisions that are best for you, your mental health, finances, or just your happiness feels good! You are allowed to feel good.

It can be as simple as, “I don’t want to do that.” Decisions don’t have to be made resentfully or in haste. Giving yourself power and autonomy in sticking to them can greatly increase your quality of life – not to mention the quality of those you surround yourself with! So, what’s are YOU deciding for YOU today?

Tell me about something you’ve done for you lately in the socials below!

There’s Too Much On My Plate!

A Helping of Work

This weekend was one of the busiest in a while. For my business, the couple days surrounding the end and the beginning of each month are absolutely insane. It’s about getting insights done, contracts written for the upcoming month, and being diligent about the Public Relations changes that we’ve made throughout the month. The transition from September to October of this year was one of the busiest for my business. For that, I am unbelievably blessed. However, I’m also taking on challenges like I don’t have the clientele and following that I do. Sometimes I need to slow down!

Slowing down, however, means pumping the brakes on something that I’ve been working on for so many months now. It also means finding priorities in my days. Some things have to wait until tomorrow. Other things, like the needs of my clients, need to be done quickly and successfully. Yes, it’s a lot. However, it’s something that I’ve been working on for so long. I’m blessed to be busy with my work. Rather than thinking, “Ugh, I wish I wasn’t so busy,” I am going to reframe it as “I’m blessed to call what I love work & if I wasn’t supposed to be doing this, I wouldn’t be.”

A Helping of Birthday

This weekend was my beautiful roommate, Shelby’s, birthday! We celebrated her on Friday with a small group of friends at our house. The pandemic always adds a layer of stress to things that would otherwise go off without a second thought. This year, we hosted the event at our apartment, since we’re not going to go to bars! I’ll say it – I’m an AWESOME hostess. I was happy to put out food, grab a little cake, and clean the house.

It was an amazing day to celebrate a great friend! Entertaining is always high maintenance, but even more so in a pandemic. I wanted to make sure that all of our surfaces were not only clean, but completely disinfected. It was important that everyone had somewhere to sit. By no means was this party imperative, however, my friends mean the world to me. If we can have a night of normalcy to celebrate our girl, that’s a priority to me! I was happy to take it on my plate. So, instead of “I have to clean the house,” it was “I get to see my friends.”

A Helping of Marriage

I had the absolute honor of photographing the wedding of some of my favorite clients. Photography has absolutely taken the back burner to the other aspects of EmyD. I’ve had amazing success with EmyD Photography, but it’s not what I want to do as my full-time job. However, having big shoots like this always lights a fire under my butt to get more creative and inspired with my content.

Someone’s wedding day is the Big Kahuna of photography. As much as I love senior shots, you can always get another beautiful day to retake if necessary. You can’t redo the elements of a wedding that the couple wants to capture forever. There’s moments like the first look, the kiss, and the dances that are so “in the moment” that they become high pressure.

Maybe the reason that I don’t want to be a full-time photographer is because I’m so tense and perfectionistic when it comes to my work. I’ve had lists and Pinterest boards preparing for this wedding for weeks. Emily, the bride, is also a planner which made me feel a little more sane. She was so organized and amazing. Honestly, her preparedness calmed everyone around her down, but I like to walk into my shoots with that same level of confidence and organization! Though it was a mentally exhausting day, it was amazing. I’m so happy to have been a part of it. So, instead of “I have to prepare for this long day of shooting,” it became, “I am blessed to get paid for doing things that make me feel creative, inspired, and motivated.”

Reframing a Full Plate

Yes, I put a lot on my plate. I always have and truthfully, I don’t see that changing any time soon. The way that I look at it, there’s a couple ways to go about being busy in life. You can be resentful that your life is busy or that you didn’t have to get up to go to meetings with clients. You can wish that you didn’t have to post consistently, but that would mean that your following would decrease.

Or, you can do what I do. I choose to run with it. There are some days where I absolutely just need like 12 hours of sleep which came to me at 8:30pm this Saturday night. However, I wouldn’t trade being busy for being bored. If I didn’t feel pressure to post, it would mean that I was still hustling for a following. If I didn’t feel like I had to prepare content, it would mean that I wasn’t signing clients. photoshoots like weddings are a lot to prepare for, but without them I wouldn’t be able to get creative for a job!

Sometimes, I have to ask for help in carrying my plate. I’ve asked Sullivan to help me at shoots. There’s been moments when my lovely clients are patient with me so that they get the best product. But agreeing to the things that you want to do, loading only what you want onto your agenda, and being your true self will make being busy so much more enjoyable. Yes, there’s too much on my plate… but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

What have you been really busy with? Let me know in my socials below!

Having the PR Perfect Instagram

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A Public Relations degree has always been my safety net. Pretty much every field needs a Public Relations professional doing work as they reach a certain level of business. God knows that if something goes wrong, you absolutely need someone in PR to help sort out the chaos. Basically, my degree in PR was job security in something that I was decently good at. I’ve also gotten really good having the PR Perfect Instagram.

Did I think that I would be doing freelance PR at 23 years old? No, not really. In a global pandemic, we’ve all had to get a little creative in how we’re earning our money, how we’re planning on doing so in the future, and how we’re keeping ourselves sane. For our essential workers, that means leaving the house everyday. Teachers have to completely change how they connect with children and focus on the best ways to do so through a computer. For those of us in the internet sphere, it meant a lot more people and businesses entering the game.

Listen, that’s not always a bad thing. From a PR perspective, quantity means more potential clients to hire me. However, also from the PR perspective, I only keep those clients if they see big, noticeable changes – which is hard in a super competitive space!

As part of my consultation process, I offer an Instagram Profile Audit. This process basically takes a look at one’s profile through the lens of Public Relations. It asks the questions that businesses ask before they approach influencers for brand deals such as follower count, engagement levels, demographics, insights, active audience, and such. Follower count is something that anyone can see from just looking at your profile, right? Easy. But, if a company were to glance through your Instagram right now, would they see that you’re taking advantage of all the tools IG has to offer?

Having the PR Perfect IG

Obviously, I go in-depth with each of these in an actual consultation. My clients and I go over how just one word in your bio can change your look completely to a company! These three things, however, are something that I’m constantly touching on in my consults with influencers. They are something that I always ask them to think about and consider changing.

The PR Perfect Bio

I don’t want to put a lot of pressure on you, but writing a bio is extremely important when it comes to brand management and follower growth. A mentor of mine, Abby Helfer, once told me about my own Instagram that it’s like a boutique window. It shows us the pretty things to expect before we venture into the store (or our profile).

Working with a PR Strategist to get this worded right can be game changing for your business. Like I said before, a simple change from the label “blogger” to “content creator” can be insanely effective. My biggest thing about bios is using the link that Instagram provides. My Instagram has links to my most recent blog post as that’s what I would like to direct traffic to. If you’re wanting to direct followers to a website, put it there. You can absolutely put a streaming channel like Twitch or Youtube in your bio. If you want people to click on a GoFundMe for Black Lives Matter (another one of my recent links), PUT IT THERE.

However, don’t have it be a floating link. By that, I mean, that it’s an influencer’s job to explain why a click on that link is necessary. What value would that link give me as a follower?

The PR Perfect Highlight

If the bio is the boutique window, the highlights are the the first things you see when you walk into the store. They are the new releases, stuff on sale, and just beautiful ads that keeps everyone walking deeper into the store.

Obviously, the way that you organize your Instagram highlights are up to personal preference. In terms of the best look for a brand, you want it to match the aesthetic of your profile. If you have photos with bright colors, highlights with those chromatics might be a good addition. If you post a lot of greens and landscapes in your photos, it might be worth your time to look for covers that match. Good old Pinterest has a ton of highlight covers that can be downloaded and used to your heart’s content.

At the end of the day, make sure that your highlights represent what you’ll find within your profile. They’re called highlights to be the absolute best moments from your story! Cohesive and clean are always best, but make sure that they’re representing you, your brand, and your product!

The PR Perfect Profile

Instagram allows us 30 hashtags per post. That’s 30 chances for people to find your content in a place where thousands of posts are going up every second. There is a debate amongst digital media experts about just how many hashtags you should be using in each post. Some say that you shouldn’t clutter your post – saying that 15 is enough. I, however, am part of the team that says that you should use all the tools that you’re given. If there’s an opportunity to use a hashtag, I say take it. You can see that in pretty much all of my IG posts.

If I’m the first person to tell you that you should be using a call to action in your captions, I’m so sorry for the PR injustice you’ve been put through. All of your captions should call your audience to action in some way. It could be urging them to comment on the post (increase that engagement!), encouraging them to go to another page, or providing them with codes to buy your product or service!

Public relations that are more specific to and your profile are available with a FREE Instagram audit. Head over to the “Work With Me” tab to book yours!

Invest in Yourself and Invest in Your PR

Like every other business, you need to invest money to get it off the ground. For example, if you want to have a really successful blog, you will have to buy a domain or maybe invest in some writing courses!

Public relations and marketing online is absolutely worthy of your time and money investment. The best profiles have their target audience, collaborations, and business goals in mind when designing each part. Doing freelance PR has made me realize just how effective little tweaks in your profile can be. Your bio, highlights, and profile on Instagram are your first step in making more money online and connecting to your target audience!

Do you have questions about how your profile looks in terms of PR? Contact me on any of my socials below!

Having a Type A Personality in a Pandemic

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I would love to sit here and tell you that I’m a Type B personality. I would love to embody those characteristics. For a while, I even had myself convinced that I already did. I might have some in the bag, though. As I sit here and write a blog on a website that I built from scratch, I’d like to believe I’ve got a little bit of creativity in my blood. I am also queen of the “Tendency to Procrastinate” category. College for me was a bunch of nights doing papers in 6 hours that were assigned 3 months prior. But, alas, I am a Type A personality. Let me just say it: It’s difficult having a Type A personality in a pandemic.

After having a pretty rough week, I wanted to be a little more analytical about my personality, routine, and mindset within this weird time. Why are there certain moments that rub me the wrong way while others I can digest being in a pandemic perfectly fine?

Type A Personalities have a tendency to multitask

I don’t fit the mold of a “typical blogger” and I’ve accepted that. Part of the reason I got my Mac was so that I could answer a bunch of emails/texts while I was writing. The amount of tabs open on my computer at a given time are enough to make anyone go crazy. But, it’s always been the kind of worker I am!

In a pandemic, it gets a little overwhelming. There’s so many things I can be doing for my budding business that the piles on my plate seem a little too big sometimes. Unlike with school, I don’t necessarily have deadlines pushing me to finish or grades to guarantee a good product. All of that motivation has to come from within.

As most of you probably know, juggling eight balls is much more difficult than throwing one ball up to catch it again. When you have a lot going on your form can get sloppy and you might even drop something. In reality, multitasking doesn’t really work… for the best work. Yet, those of us who HAVE TO juggle a lot of things at once still do it. We learn how to juggle them all best and hopefully, we learn when to say no to adding more to the mix.

Type A Personalities tend to be competitive

I’ll say it. I am ridiculously competitive. You challenge me in a board game and my trash talk might scar you for a while. I know, I know, positivity blogger. Seriously though, I’ve had a need to be the best since I was a kid. I don’t even think it’s necessarily because I like people to know that about me. Maybe I just want to know it about myself.

Type A competitiveness at WERK at a show choir competition in high school.

As I’m writing this, I’m realizing that it could be an ongoing battle with my own self image. Being competitive and therefore good at most things gives me the ego boost that I need sometimes. Being competitive as an adult is not cute, for lack of a better term. In the pandemic, it manifests itself in comparison with others – other bloggers, writers, and businesswomen.

Truthfully, blogging is such a warm and accepting community. Those within the field want others to succeed too. So, when you have a competitive personality, you put pressure on yourself to be better, do better, and write better that does not need to happen. It’s a lot.

Type A Personalities are very organized

My patron saint is St. Organization. Color-coding got me through a double major program in the same amount of time I should have gotten only one degree. Now, having two planners, many lists, and ongoing Post-Its are what allow me to get through the day without pulling all my hair out.

Check out my organization blog for actual tips!

It might be a little much to the outsider, but having this level of organization allows me to have control in my life that has a LOT going on. (See multitasking above.) There’s not a ton of certainty in a pandemic which means not a lot of things that can be organized.

You almost don’t want to plan for the future in fear that the world comes to a grinding halt again. One day, in March, I was managing in the morning and laid off by night. For Type A-ers like me, the inability to make future, set-in-stone plans really inhibits our organization skills. All in all, pandemics are not great for this girl’s need to plan out her life.

Type A Personalities spend much of their time focused on work

I’m proud to say that Type A personalities are goal-oriented. That’s a characteristic about myself that I absolutely love. When you’re worried about getting sick or those around you making poor choices, your options are limited to staying in your house. Staying in your house means that your list of possible activities are also very limited.

During COVID, I’ve turned a lot to screens. All of my work can be done from my phone or laptop. Thus, I almost feel guilty when I’m NOT working because it’s so easily accessible within the pandemic. What I’ve had to realize, though, is that even though my job is available to me at all times on the computer… I don’t need to be working at all times to be considered successful.

I have big goals when it comes to the blog, the podcast, and the PR business but spending too much time focused on work just promises to burn me out faster. In a pandemic, you have to be dedicated to scheduling yourself breaks. You have to make sure that you’re not spending all of your time sleeping, working, eating, or bingeing Criminal Minds on Netflix (it can’t be just me). Even though it’s within my personality to dive headfirst into my work while I have the capabilities and the time, it’s been a struggle to set limits for myself when the goals seem right there.

Type A all Day

There was a time that I didn’t like who I was. I spent a long time learning to love my personality, mannerisms, and characteristics as they were the things that piled up to form me. Realizing where you might be struggling, however, is an emotionally intelligent thing to do at any stage of your life.

Personally, there are personality traits that lead me to go a little crazy within the bounds of the pandemic. Some days, I have to actively remind myself that multitasking can be overwhelming. There’s moments where I have to be okay with going with the flow unlike ever before. Lastly, I have to remind myself that it’s okay to take breaks and reward yourself even when your goals are huge.

Whether you have these traits or not, this time has been completely weird for all of us. Understand that you’re not alone if you’re feeling a little goofy, off, or just plain stressed. As we learn to live in a time that we never thought we would have to, we are all getting through it. One day at a time.

How are you holding up during these times? Hit me up on social media and tell me your story!

Instead I Live on National Suicide Prevention Day

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I know that National Suicide Prevention Day isn’t a national holiday. It’s a day dedicated to the prevention of suicides around the world celebrated on the 10th of September each year. Does the general public know of this day? Absolutely not. To be honest with you, I didn’t even know the exact date until I was approached by a mental health organization on IG. So, as a mental health advocate and blog owner, I didn’t know the day of the year that we show our commitment to preventing suicides for the entire year. Something is wrong with that. So, today, I chose to write about my experience, my story, and my commitment to preventing suicide 365 days a year. *TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide, suicidal thoughts, depression*

I would never have classified myself as someone that was suicidal. Even now, despite sharing a bunch of vulnerable stories online, I’m hesitant to put that out there. Suicide feels too dark and real to put online sometimes. But, like everything I put online, I share because it might make someone else feel a sense of community, belonging, and comfort.

My Story

In my file, you’d find a note from my high school years that reads something like “Displays Suicidal Tendencies.” The things I said were in line with someone who didn’t care whether they were on this earth or not. Goals that I had for the future were nowhere to be found – partially because I couldn’t imagine a future.

My experience with suicidal thoughts or how to combat them is different than others. It’s not the same as what you see in the movies or even on those videos that they show you in health class. For me, everything just kind of was numb. I didn’t care about grades, friends, or anything that had given me joy. All I had the energy to do was sleep & sleeping forever seemed like a pretty good solution to these problems.

My story as you’ll find, is not a one size fit all. Some people have trauma that pushes them into depression and suicidal tendencies. Some have depression in their biology that deals them a rough hand of cards from the start. After that, problem solving feels harder and harder every time. There’s some like me, who have an amazing life, an amazing family, and essentially all the right tools to make it, yet still fall into the trap of having dark thoughts. Some people fit none of those descriptions.

The Realities of Suicide Prevention

Understanding suicide and treating it as a reality in our world is always the first step to combatting it. First, let’s just get this out there: suicide exists. Unlike popular opinion, it’s not just 20-somethings who have been mentally disturbed their whole life. In fact, the highest demographic affected by suicide is middle aged white men, according to the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention. It’s K-12 students who’ve been bullied, gone through trauma, or just dealt with undiagnosed mental illness. Our elderly population is not immune either. Though we have a schema for suicide, understanding that prevention goes far beyond a classroom or social media screen is extremely important.

I’m not a doctor, a therapist, or even a volunteer for a mental health organization. The credibility I speak from is having gone through my own issues. Thus, I can’t sit here and say all the ways you can combat suicidal thoughts and tendencies. I can, however, talk about how I learned to live when all I wanted to do was die.

MY Suicide Prevention

I was talking very openly about death (a huge warning sign – follow this link for more info) even if I hadn’t begun to develop a plan. It was clear to those that loved me the most that I cared very little about things that happened in my life – good or bad. In fact, I was ready to disconnect from anything that made me feel committed. Speaking very candidly here, I started to imagine what other’s lives would be like without mine. Would they be better off? My anxieties pushed me to think so, but something about that felt wrong. I couldn’t imagine my baby brother talking about the sister he “used” to have. No matter how irritable, angry, or just confusing I had been I was still his big sister.

I Started Talking

Thank you to HeartSupport for this graphic and the #InsteadILive campaign that inspired this blog!

The first time I said “I’m not okay” outloud was really difficult. I had been getting through the day, going through the motions, and crashing into rock bottom as time went on. When I finally let those words out of my body, it felt like a tidal wave.

Talking about my depression, anxiety, and dark thoughts has been hugely therapeutic for me. Even now, speaking openly about things that might be uncomfortable has made me feel empowered to be exactly who I am. Speaking about thoughts that I had allowed my family and I to pinpoint some areas of my life that were at an absolute breaking point, even if I didn’t see them as such. When you’re talking about your feelings, you can also get to realizations faster than just keeping it all bottled up.

It was so hard for the people I love to hear me speak about life so apathetically, but it also allowed us all to work towards a healthy solution to the problem.

I Created

Courtesy of HeartSupport and the #InsteadILive campaign

If you guys couldn’t tell, I do have a blog. LOL. No, but I’ve been writing about mental health and those moments of pure mental anguish for a long, long time. Even before they were under the name “EmyD”. I also used song, dance, and art to express thoughts that I literally could not formulate into words. Throwing myself headfirst into hobbies allowed me to give a shit, for lack of a better term. When all else failed, I had something that actually made me feel productive and a bit more human.

Don’t get me wrong. There were days that I was so mentally exhausted I couldn’t get out of bed. The idea of “perking myself up with a painting” would have made me vomit. Let me tell you, though, learning to live for something is a game-changer. I couldn’t put all of that on my brother because it’s not fair, nor does it give me autonomy as a young woman. I had to learn how to love what I could say, do, write, and create all on my own.

I Advocate

While I still have a mental illness, it’s been a long time since my mind has had a suicidal thought. It’s not because I’ve grown out of it or completely changed. Rather, it’s because I found value in life that I couldn’t see. I learned coping mechanisms for mental illness that only worsened it. Lastly, I learned that saying “I need help” doesn’t make you any less of a badass.

These days, I still have really bad days. They come much more in frequently now. Between them are many really great days to ward off the darkness. But, I still have bad days. I advocate for people with mental illness and suicidal tendencies because living is the best decision I’ve ever made.

I advocate now because six years ago, I needed someone else to advocate for me. I commit myself to preventing suicide in any way I possibly can on this National Suicide Prevention Day. Even when it gets dark and scary, I have to remind myself that I can defy the thoughts that want to put me down by saying, “Instead, I live.”

Thank you so much @HeartSupport for creating such an important initiative and constantly advocating for important things. Thank you, Taylor Palmby, for encouraging me to look into the #InsteadILive campaign!

Join the conversation on any of my socials or find valuable resources through HeartSupport!

Behind the Blog: Why I Blog

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My sweet friend, Kate, recently sent me a message asking me how I got to where I’m at: how I put myself out there, how I overcome insecurity, and how I don’t worry about what others think. Truth be told, I did all of those things for a long time when I first pressed “Activate” on my own website. There’s still days where it overcomes me. Even if it doesn’t seem like it everyday, there’s a lot that goes on behind the blog.

Why I Started

As you know, I’ve been writing for a while. I’m a huge advocate for journaling because it’s been one of the only ways I can express my chaotic emotions in a healthy way. Blogging, though, is different. Different in a way that when I finally finished…it was out there. It was on the internet. In a way, sending those words off into cyberspace has almost released the tension from inside my brain.

Along with that release, comes a wave of anxiety about what people will think about what you just wrote. Will they like it? Will it resonate with anyone? Is anyone even going to read this? Truth be told, when you initially post you don’t have any of those answers. If you’re looking for outward gratification in comments, likes, and messages, you’re not going to get it every time. If you’re piece changed one person, though, it was worth it. That includes you.

When I say that, I don’t mean that every Facebook status is worth posting. In fact, I would like you Baby Boomers to take just one more second before you send that aggressive novel of a status. Instead, I mean that sharing, posting, and relating to others through our own experiences can be hugely beneficial. We can literally make a community behind our blog that makes every post easier.

Out with the Old

These days, I’ve started to care less and less what old acquaintances think of my blog or what Timmy from church has to say about my way of life. One, because they aren’t paying my bills or contributing to my serotonin levels. Two, because it makes me feel good. So back off, Timmy.

The motivation behind the blog comes from moments like this… where I’m reminded how beautiful, amazing, and genuine my everyday life is!

Even if this blog had zero views, (which I will brag that it does in fact have more than zero) the fact that I feel more and more comfortable talking about things like addiction, body image, and mental health is worth the price of a website even if no one was reading. It’s worth the time it takes to write.

In With the New

When you’re on Pinterest, you seem to think there’s two camps of bloggers. There’s the Tumblr blogger that you would only come across in a rabbit hole.Or, there’s the blogger that makes millions of dollars, has all the deals, and has definitely published a book or two. Absolutely not.

I was surprised to see just how big the blogging community was. It’s full of people who exclusively post on Instagram in photo blogs. There’s people making a ton of money from their words and definitely will have that book deal we were talking about. There’s also mid-sized bloggers (like EmyD!), specific niche bloggers, and so many others. The coolest thing is that they all support each other. It’s not cut throat and weird like other businesses you could get into.

I was okay with letting go of the hope that everyone from my small Wisconsin hometown was going to read my blog when I saw how many people actually understood me across the world. There were so many people that, like me, just wanted to write, create, and make money while doing it. Suddenly, the dreams that seemed too big for my little town felt too small for the groups I was encountering!

Behind the Blog Today

Thank you Evan MacDougall at E.Mac Photography for this amazing pic!

Everyday there is something different going on behind the blog. One day, I can’t even get a cohesive sentence out. There’s no way a blog is going up. There’s other days were scrolling through Instagram is mentalling exhausting. Yes, I’m fully aware of how unbelievably ridiculous that sounds, but when you work and hustle online you’d want to throw you’re computer out the window somedays too. There’s other days where I literally cannot tell enough people about how cool my job is.

I consider myself a blogger, an influencer, and a PR strategist. Taking my own life into my hands, I decided that writing and social media was going to be the way that I was going to make my living because it made my heart feel good.

Are there days where I’m scared? Yes. Do I push the boundaries of my own self confidence to post some things? YES. I mean, for God’s sake I said how much I weigh! But, at the end of the day, would I change a thing? Nope.

Are you thinking of starting a blog? What’s stopping you? Connect with you on any of my social media platforms to learn how YOU can start your own brand and make money online!

You Could Write a Book Today

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This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission, at no cost to you, if you make a purchase through one of the links!

I was very careful not to put the word “if” at the beginning of the title for this blog. It’s “You Can Write a Book Today” because you can. I know you can. It’s possible. There’s really no “if” to add there.

Every time I go through a bookstore, scour the bookworm hashtag online, thrift for gems in large piles of books, or even just scroll through Amazon, I’m amazed at the sheer amount of books that exist. If you want my all time favorite book, you’d look for The Giver by Lois Lowry. If you wanted my favorite book in the personal growth genre, you’d look for You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero. There are genres, worlds, and cult-followings to appreciate all by opening a book. Crazy, right?

Realistically, you could write a book right now, right? If you’re reading this blog, you probably know a good amount of words to string together and formulate a book. Even if it’s not Nobel Prize material quite yet. You could do it.

Swimming and Writing a Book?

Stick with me in this long-winded analogy, okay? It will make sense. Along with all the things you’re reading about me do, I also teach kids how to swim in the summer. I did not swim thousands of miles a day for eight years for it to go to waste.

Let me tell you something about kids… they are in one of two camps. They are either unbelievably unafraid where they jump into the pool with no lifeline and no idea how to swim. This camp is sparse and so refreshing as a teacher. Then, there’s the camp that most children find themselves in when they try just about anything new – terrified of their utter demise.

Don’t get me wrong. You need to fear the water a little bit so you don’t dive into a winding river that is NOT supposed to be swam in. Usually what children fear, though, is their own lack of knowledge. They could swim perfect laps in the shallow end and the minute they know they can’t stand they’ll forget all about it. Arms will start flailing, legs will spazz, and that head goes under fast. When you start telling kids that their bodies, their minds, and their muscles naturally know how to help them to the top, they just have to calm down and let it happen, something changes for them.

I have a kid in my classes that was terrified of the deep end. He could swim like he was on a swim team in the shallow end. He told me that he was still scared of sinking to the bottom no matter how many times I told him I wouldn’t let that happen. When I finally described that his lungs are full of air to help him to the top, his fear washed away with every jump. He yells “When I’m calm, I float!” Which is both adorable and true.

You Body Knows, You Need Calm

Whether or not you want to believe it, your body, mind, and muscles all know how to push forward. They know how to keep you afloat and help you survive. When you take a big plunge like going to college, making a big investment, or taking a year off to write a book, your body reacts how you allow it to.

“I can write a book today,” is an affirmation that not everyone has. However, putting that calm, clear truth into the world allows your body to go with the flow. Giving into the overwhelm and stress is the start of your flapping arms. Screaming at your spouse about alone time while you write your chapters is the spazzing of feet. When you start to resent the action, rather than love the process… that’s your head going under.

So… You Could Write a Book Today, Right?

This goes for any big dive that you take in this life. It’s easy to resent those big moves when you’re exerting all your energy in the process. No, I’m not teaching a group of children that swimming is just letting water do what it wants to you, which is not what I’m advocating for your life jumps either. I am, however, telling you to love the process because there was a moment you didn’t think you could.

Book writing was my deep end of the pool. I was terrified of the utter demise that was putting my words onto paper and people reading them. I’m not like Jen Sincero or Rachel Hollis. They were the Olympic swimmers to me in floaties. As I kept writing, researching, and loving my own mind, I realized that I could write a book today. I could write ten books. It might be scary and take practice, but my heart already knows how to keep me afloat and write the words.

What’s a big jump you’ve been waiting to take? Would your body know what to do? Let me know in my socials below!