emydblog Archives

NEW Series: Things I’m Thinking About

After a long hiatus from writing, I’m starting back up with a series that I think will be both fun and informative on EmyDBlog: Things I’m Thinking About. Each week, I plan to write about a couple things that I spent time thinking, talking, tweeting, and texting about. Plus, it encourages me to regularly write – even if it isn’t the most monumental, life-changing blog you’ll find on this website

A Note From EmyD

For me, writing is healing. It is the thing that makes me feel powerful, worthy, and confident. There are moments that I sometimes feel like I shouldn’t be writing unless I have something groundbreaking to say. I’ve found this to be nothing but the truth. However, like other creative passions, writing lends itself to burnout.

Things I’m Thinking About will allow me to talk about anything while practicing my craft & being just plain creative! All that being said, remember that EmyD is probably not the place to go if you’re looking for citations for your next research paper.

All my love,

EmyD

First Thing: Tainted Strawberries

Did anyone else have to throw away super expensive strawberries??

If there’s one thing that I want on Memorial Day Weekend, it’s some fresh fruit and something grilled. I picked up some organic strawberries for a balcony day with my friend, Evan. There should have been a red flag moment when I walked into the grocery store with ONLY $8 organic strawberries. Alas, I definitely bought them and heard about the strawberry recall a couple days later.

A recall was issued for some organic strawberries that could have been tainted with the Hepatitis A virus. Even as I’m writing this, there are items being pulled off shelves that might have the strawberries as an ingredient. To our knowledge, our strawberries were all good and they’ve been thrown away if not. Goodbye $8!! Plus, we also have our Hepatitis A vaccine, so we’re still protected just in case! (This is not a plug to get vaccinated, but yet, another example on why they keep us safe.) So, my love and cravings for strawberries might be on a hiatus, but I’m still a strawberry stan nonetheless.

Second Thing: Heard v. Depp Trial

Like everyone else who has any social media accounts, I’ve seen SO much on the Amber Heard and Johnny Depp trial. Honestly, I’m not a huge fan of either of them. At the risk of all the hate comments, I haven’t even seen any of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. I also could not have told you who Amber Heard even was.

I have been more involved in this trial, though, than I have with my literal blog. I’ve always had an interest in law – I even studied to take the LSAT and go to law school – but, there was something that just really intrigued me about this trial. It could have been all the memorable moments of the lawyers making hundreds of thousands of dollars being unprepared. Or, I could have been the fact that I’ve had an abusive partner, so I just craved justice. Who knows. I was here for it though.

Both Johnny Depp and Amber Heard were found guilty of defaming the other one. The trial, unlike what many think, is not about whether or not there was domestic abuse. I was particularly irked about the statement Heard made after the verdict. “I’m heartbroken that the mountain of evidence still was not enough to stand up to the disproportionate power, influence, and sway of my ex-husband,” said Heard. Heard misrepresents the case and the jury’s verdict completely which is gaslight-y and a further red flag.

Third Thing: We’re Stilllllll Talking about Guns & Doing Nothing

Photo credit to The Prevention Institute

This topic deserves much more than a blurb in a Things I’m Thinking About post. I know that. Nevertheless, I it’s important to include some of the thoughts racing through my head in this week’s Things I’m Thinking About because they’re relentless. I literally cannot stop thinking about or trying to make sense of an argument in which you WOULDN’T want it to be harder to obtain a gun.

You’ll find hundreds of tweets from elected officials praying, wishing, and talking about the horrific acts in Texas. You won’t find that sentiment when those politicians are tasked with voting to make guns, especially automatic weapons, harder to obtain. They should be thinking about the murders happening at the end of a gun. Prayers should be sent to those families They should be offering their support in the form of votes and action. Otherwise, those words mean nothing.

From Thinking to Action

That being said, I’ll include some ways to take tangible action. Because, let’s face it, something that we should all be thinking about how WE can bring about change. Here are some great ways to take action today:

Contact Your Representatives – Tell them how you feel about gun-laws in your state. Demand action from them. Tell them what you think! They work for you!
Donate – Charities like the Sandy Hook Promise exist everywhere. There are so many grassroots nonprofits working toward protecting people in their schools, homes, and communities from gun violence. Give what you can!
Walk the Walk – At the end of the day, keeping yourself informed and involved is the most important part. The Prevention Institute has some really amazing information and guides on how gun safety can be implemented in all types of lifestyle!

This week’s recap has a couple of heavy hitters. I want to hear what’s been on your mind too. Connect with me on any socials to tell me what you’ve been thinking about!

Understanding My Car with FIXD

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This blog may contain affiliate links for your convenience. You can find my full advertising disclaimer here.

Admittedly, I am NOT a car girl. Like at all. In fact, I was just getting made fun of at work for not instantly knowing where I would put windshield wiper fluid in. For some reason, it just doesn’t click in my brain. So, I’ve been willing to spend way too much time and money on my car when much easier options were available. I teamed up with FIXD to understand & care for my car in the best way for my wallet and my time!

What is FIXD?

FIXD is technology created by three Georgia Tech Grads in Atlanta, Georgia. It comes with a sensor that plugs right into your OBD2 port. (I had no idea where this was, but the app gives you a step-by-step guide on finding it in your specific vehicle!) It uses bluetooth with an app that you can get from any app store.

There’s thousands of things to learn and do on the app. Its main use, however, is saving you time, energy and worry when it comes to car care. It can’t get better than that!

How does FIXD work?

Once you plug your FIXD sensor in, it’s constantly running diagnostics on your car. It can tell you things like oil health, tire pressure, battery health, and mileage all through the app! Inside the app, you can also see a timeline of services that your car needs throughout ownership. It provides you with information on why you need services, where to get them serviced in your area, and how much you should budget!

There’s literally like 7,000 things that the app can tell you about your car at the touch of a button!

There are so many free features on the FIXD app. At only $5.83 per month (billed annually), you’ll have even more car care information at your fingertips.The premium membership offers things like a mechanic hotline, predictions of future problems to look out for and be aware of, and emissions analysis. FIXD basically gives you your car’s health at your fingertips! The premium membership isn’t necessary, however, to get the benefits of the FIXD sensor and free membership!

Is it worth it?

Right now, you can get FIXD for $19.99 with free shipping. The stress that FIXD takes away from car care makes the product already worth it – not to mention the opportunity to save money when actual servicing is necessary! I also feel safer in my car when I understand it, something that’s definitely worth the price! I know that my dad feels better with me driving with FIXD as well!

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FIXD can also be used to manage multiple vehicles over and over again. Using the free app, you’re able to track maintenance issues in all the family cars! You can also use FIXD to help determine if everything looks good on a vehicle before buying. It can be a handy tool for any car owner to have on hand.

How do I get one?

You can pick up your FIXD sensor right here. The FIXD is free for download wherever you’re able to download applications to your phone.

You can find more information on the official FIXD website and on their Instagram page!

Do you have a car trouble story? Do you want to learn more about FIXD? Connect with me on any socials below – I’m a car girl now 😉

5 Little Things to Be Thankful for This Year

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In a world where working yourself to death is normal and a global pandemic seems never ending, it’s sometimes hard to see the silver lining in an average day. Sure, Thanksgiving comes around and you realize the big things you’re thankful for: family, friends, health, food, and so on. You’ll be able to see the little things in your everyday when you start looking for them more closely. Here are 5 little things to be thankful for that might be getting overlooked this year.

When You Hit a Bunch of Green Lights in a Row

Sometimes, we have days where we have only red lights to stop at on our drive. Others, we hit every green light on a long stretch of road – can you imagine it now? We’re happier that we got somewhere faster, but have you ever just been really thankful that your day ended up that way. It’s tiny, I know, but it’s something that can truly make you think that the Universe is on your side in your day!

Finding a Go-To Sweater for your Closet

I recently found a sweater that I absolutely adore from H&M. It’s a go-to item of clothing for me now. It works with just about anything and it’s so soft I want to cry! Finding clothing that fit you well and makes you feel good isn’t always a given. So, when you find something that really makes you feel good, it’s important to savor that feeling (and buy one of every color).

The go-to sweater from above. Seriously, it’s everything. Bonus point: it’s from their recycled collection so I can feel good about wearing it too!

TV Shows to Binge Watch

If you know me or have seen a dating profile of mine, you know that I’m a huge true crime nerd. I rewatch NCIS and Criminal Minds like three times a year. Some people find a new show to watch as soon as their current one is over, while others stick to the tried and true.

TV and streaming services have really been cranking out some stellar TV options lately. More people have been represented in our everyday media and it shows. Sometimes, having no plans and just your favorite TV show to curl up with is something to be thankful for too!

Homemade Food

Nothing hits has hard as homemade food. There is not a restaurant or chain that can replicate what homemade food makes you feel like. For one, you can be proud that you’re not spending buckets of money. Two, you can really curate exactly what you want. Three, you can feel a level of productivity that you just don’t feel when you’re grabbing something quick through the drive thru.

This year, I ate homemade mashed potatoes twice for Thanksgiving. It seems like a tiny thing to be joyful about, but I never do it for myself! It tastes better and it’s made with much more love, of course.

Photos and Videos to Look Back On

Say what you will about blogging, but running anything on social media will make you really good at being the photographer and videographer of any event. That’s not to say that there are not moments, of course, that you can’t experience behind a phone screen.

We have a tradition of watching National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation each year on Thanksgiving. There’s a part where Clark Griswald, the main character, is looking back on old family videos of Christmas. Social media might be a huge pain, but it’s allowed people to share their moments with others – good, bad, beautiful, and ugly. Maybe pictures are a pain to take now, but you’ll definitely be thankful showing your loved ones when that photo represents a really cool memory or story.

What are you thankful for? It can be big or small. We all have something! Come and tell me on my social media accounts below!

Not Your Barbie Girl

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Recently, my roommate said something that I absolutely loved. “A lot of people that we look up to as ‘role models’ never asked for that. They were just really good at running, singing, or posting pics… so we decided they had to be role models,” she said. Until now, I didn’t really think about it. Of course, we want to be someone that others can look up to but does that risk our ability to be human, make mistakes, and live the life we want. Even though I put my life online, I’m not your barbie girl with the best answers or choices.

Potty Mouth Barbie

First things first, I’m a total potty mouth. If I feel like a sentence needs “fuck” in it, I will absolutely not be leaving it out. For a long time, I craved for my blog to be almost editorial; ready for a newspaper. I had an editor making grammar calls and changing sentence structure for a more intelligent sounding entry. In those moments, I really lost my voice and what I wanted my blog to feel like.

Editorial, perfected blogs are amazing, but I wanted my blog to feel like you were sitting down with a friend for drinks. I wanted the perfect middle ground between a Myspace post and a newspaper article. Part of that was allowing my writing to match my actual voice and being relatable in that way. So, I stopped censoring swear words and internet slang. I allowed myself to write in the way that I love and knew that the passion behind the words would bring the right audience to my website.

Do I want kids to drop the f-bomb in their papers? No. There’s a time and place for my style of writing (like a website that you own for an LLC that you pay for). Do I want my audience members to take all my words as law because I run a decently popular blog? Nope. I’m just trying to write about my experiences and relate to those who need it. Just let me write and speak, damn.

Party Girl Barbie

I was previously really nervous about posting photos/videos with alcohol in them. Truth is, though, I drink alcohol! I get drunk! Sometimes, I have too much, say stupid things, and stumble home at bar close. Sharing that, however, doesn’t mean I want my followers to drink, do drugs, or party.

I never claimed to be someone for the kids to look up to nor did I want others to see my Instagram photos and want to be me. Instead, I claimed to be someone who was willing to share my experiences with the world in hopes that someone can feel less alone. Obviously I hope that people read my blogs, like my photos, and interact with the content I’m creating, but it’s not the driving factor in my life. I know that my words, actions, and lifestyle do really relate to & entertain some people… it’s not my job to cater to the masses.

This brings up a larger conversation about people being raised, overwhelmingly affected, and easily influenced by those in the media. Sha’Carri Richardson will miss an opportunity to run at the Tokyo Olympics because she tested positive for marijuana. My feelings on those who vilify marijuana use is a story for a different blog. Sha’Carri never asked to be a role model; never claimed to be someone that young runners, women, or black girls should be looking up to. She was a good runner who wanted to go to the Olympics – why did that qualify her to teach the youth of America right from wrong?

Understanding My Responsibility

As someone who does have people following them and giving a shit about what I say, I have an inherent amount of responsibility. It’s my responsibility to be a kind, empathetic, and loving human being. When there are moments of injustice, it’s my responsibility to stand up for what’s right.

While I might not have asked to be a role model, I understand that people do read my words and can be influenced by my actions. I want to be very, very clear here: I’m human. My social media presence is about confidence in who you are as a person, but it’s not a G-rated movie with a moral to present at the end. My words are for the person who needs the unapologetic & gritty truth about being an adult in the world we live in. It’s about seeing my mistakes and successes so that you can feel empowered to win and fail by yourself.

So, no, I’m not your Barbie girl. For those of you who don’t like that about me – no hard feelings! There are so many awesome content creators out there doing amazing things. Find the right one for you! Those of you who are here for all of this, thank you for your constant and overwhelming support!

Connect with me on my (sometimes NSFW) social media pages below!

Having the PR Perfect Instagram

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A Public Relations degree has always been my safety net. Pretty much every field needs a Public Relations professional doing work as they reach a certain level of business. God knows that if something goes wrong, you absolutely need someone in PR to help sort out the chaos. Basically, my degree in PR was job security in something that I was decently good at. I’ve also gotten really good having the PR Perfect Instagram.

Did I think that I would be doing freelance PR at 23 years old? No, not really. In a global pandemic, we’ve all had to get a little creative in how we’re earning our money, how we’re planning on doing so in the future, and how we’re keeping ourselves sane. For our essential workers, that means leaving the house everyday. Teachers have to completely change how they connect with children and focus on the best ways to do so through a computer. For those of us in the internet sphere, it meant a lot more people and businesses entering the game.

Listen, that’s not always a bad thing. From a PR perspective, quantity means more potential clients to hire me. However, also from the PR perspective, I only keep those clients if they see big, noticeable changes – which is hard in a super competitive space!

As part of my consultation process, I offer an Instagram Profile Audit. This process basically takes a look at one’s profile through the lens of Public Relations. It asks the questions that businesses ask before they approach influencers for brand deals such as follower count, engagement levels, demographics, insights, active audience, and such. Follower count is something that anyone can see from just looking at your profile, right? Easy. But, if a company were to glance through your Instagram right now, would they see that you’re taking advantage of all the tools IG has to offer?

Having the PR Perfect IG

Obviously, I go in-depth with each of these in an actual consultation. My clients and I go over how just one word in your bio can change your look completely to a company! These three things, however, are something that I’m constantly touching on in my consults with influencers. They are something that I always ask them to think about and consider changing.

The PR Perfect Bio

I don’t want to put a lot of pressure on you, but writing a bio is extremely important when it comes to brand management and follower growth. A mentor of mine, Abby Helfer, once told me about my own Instagram that it’s like a boutique window. It shows us the pretty things to expect before we venture into the store (or our profile).

Working with a PR Strategist to get this worded right can be game changing for your business. Like I said before, a simple change from the label “blogger” to “content creator” can be insanely effective. My biggest thing about bios is using the link that Instagram provides. My Instagram has links to my most recent blog post as that’s what I would like to direct traffic to. If you’re wanting to direct followers to a website, put it there. You can absolutely put a streaming channel like Twitch or Youtube in your bio. If you want people to click on a GoFundMe for Black Lives Matter (another one of my recent links), PUT IT THERE.

However, don’t have it be a floating link. By that, I mean, that it’s an influencer’s job to explain why a click on that link is necessary. What value would that link give me as a follower?

The PR Perfect Highlight

If the bio is the boutique window, the highlights are the the first things you see when you walk into the store. They are the new releases, stuff on sale, and just beautiful ads that keeps everyone walking deeper into the store.

Obviously, the way that you organize your Instagram highlights are up to personal preference. In terms of the best look for a brand, you want it to match the aesthetic of your profile. If you have photos with bright colors, highlights with those chromatics might be a good addition. If you post a lot of greens and landscapes in your photos, it might be worth your time to look for covers that match. Good old Pinterest has a ton of highlight covers that can be downloaded and used to your heart’s content.

At the end of the day, make sure that your highlights represent what you’ll find within your profile. They’re called highlights to be the absolute best moments from your story! Cohesive and clean are always best, but make sure that they’re representing you, your brand, and your product!

The PR Perfect Profile

Instagram allows us 30 hashtags per post. That’s 30 chances for people to find your content in a place where thousands of posts are going up every second. There is a debate amongst digital media experts about just how many hashtags you should be using in each post. Some say that you shouldn’t clutter your post – saying that 15 is enough. I, however, am part of the team that says that you should use all the tools that you’re given. If there’s an opportunity to use a hashtag, I say take it. You can see that in pretty much all of my IG posts.

If I’m the first person to tell you that you should be using a call to action in your captions, I’m so sorry for the PR injustice you’ve been put through. All of your captions should call your audience to action in some way. It could be urging them to comment on the post (increase that engagement!), encouraging them to go to another page, or providing them with codes to buy your product or service!

Public relations that are more specific to and your profile are available with a FREE Instagram audit. Head over to the “Work With Me” tab to book yours!

Invest in Yourself and Invest in Your PR

Like every other business, you need to invest money to get it off the ground. For example, if you want to have a really successful blog, you will have to buy a domain or maybe invest in some writing courses!

Public relations and marketing online is absolutely worthy of your time and money investment. The best profiles have their target audience, collaborations, and business goals in mind when designing each part. Doing freelance PR has made me realize just how effective little tweaks in your profile can be. Your bio, highlights, and profile on Instagram are your first step in making more money online and connecting to your target audience!

Do you have questions about how your profile looks in terms of PR? Contact me on any of my socials below!

Behind the Blog: Why I Blog

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My sweet friend, Kate, recently sent me a message asking me how I got to where I’m at: how I put myself out there, how I overcome insecurity, and how I don’t worry about what others think. Truth be told, I did all of those things for a long time when I first pressed “Activate” on my own website. There’s still days where it overcomes me. Even if it doesn’t seem like it everyday, there’s a lot that goes on behind the blog.

Why I Started

As you know, I’ve been writing for a while. I’m a huge advocate for journaling because it’s been one of the only ways I can express my chaotic emotions in a healthy way. Blogging, though, is different. Different in a way that when I finally finished…it was out there. It was on the internet. In a way, sending those words off into cyberspace has almost released the tension from inside my brain.

Along with that release, comes a wave of anxiety about what people will think about what you just wrote. Will they like it? Will it resonate with anyone? Is anyone even going to read this? Truth be told, when you initially post you don’t have any of those answers. If you’re looking for outward gratification in comments, likes, and messages, you’re not going to get it every time. If you’re piece changed one person, though, it was worth it. That includes you.

When I say that, I don’t mean that every Facebook status is worth posting. In fact, I would like you Baby Boomers to take just one more second before you send that aggressive novel of a status. Instead, I mean that sharing, posting, and relating to others through our own experiences can be hugely beneficial. We can literally make a community behind our blog that makes every post easier.

Out with the Old

These days, I’ve started to care less and less what old acquaintances think of my blog or what Timmy from church has to say about my way of life. One, because they aren’t paying my bills or contributing to my serotonin levels. Two, because it makes me feel good. So back off, Timmy.

The motivation behind the blog comes from moments like this… where I’m reminded how beautiful, amazing, and genuine my everyday life is!

Even if this blog had zero views, (which I will brag that it does in fact have more than zero) the fact that I feel more and more comfortable talking about things like addiction, body image, and mental health is worth the price of a website even if no one was reading. It’s worth the time it takes to write.

In With the New

When you’re on Pinterest, you seem to think there’s two camps of bloggers. There’s the Tumblr blogger that you would only come across in a rabbit hole.Or, there’s the blogger that makes millions of dollars, has all the deals, and has definitely published a book or two. Absolutely not.

I was surprised to see just how big the blogging community was. It’s full of people who exclusively post on Instagram in photo blogs. There’s people making a ton of money from their words and definitely will have that book deal we were talking about. There’s also mid-sized bloggers (like EmyD!), specific niche bloggers, and so many others. The coolest thing is that they all support each other. It’s not cut throat and weird like other businesses you could get into.

I was okay with letting go of the hope that everyone from my small Wisconsin hometown was going to read my blog when I saw how many people actually understood me across the world. There were so many people that, like me, just wanted to write, create, and make money while doing it. Suddenly, the dreams that seemed too big for my little town felt too small for the groups I was encountering!

Behind the Blog Today

Thank you Evan MacDougall at E.Mac Photography for this amazing pic!

Everyday there is something different going on behind the blog. One day, I can’t even get a cohesive sentence out. There’s no way a blog is going up. There’s other days were scrolling through Instagram is mentalling exhausting. Yes, I’m fully aware of how unbelievably ridiculous that sounds, but when you work and hustle online you’d want to throw you’re computer out the window somedays too. There’s other days where I literally cannot tell enough people about how cool my job is.

I consider myself a blogger, an influencer, and a PR strategist. Taking my own life into my hands, I decided that writing and social media was going to be the way that I was going to make my living because it made my heart feel good.

Are there days where I’m scared? Yes. Do I push the boundaries of my own self confidence to post some things? YES. I mean, for God’s sake I said how much I weigh! But, at the end of the day, would I change a thing? Nope.

Are you thinking of starting a blog? What’s stopping you? Connect with you on any of my social media platforms to learn how YOU can start your own brand and make money online!

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

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My brother and I were pondering what could be the most contradictory message that I could sharenon my blog. Maybe something like “You Shouldn’t Talk About Your Mental Health,” where I advocate for everyone keeping their traps shut. There are already many people in this world who spend their time writing articles with titles such as “Depression is a Choice,” so I think we have that base covered. Then I started to realize, I should probably write that contradictory blog. I should probably address all the people that scroll through my website and roll their eyes.

No, I’m not going to sit here and side with you. First off, it would piss off quite a few people who trust me to write with an open mind and heart when approaching something as delicate as our mental states. Secondly, I wholeheartedly disagree. Every single blog that I write has a goal of connecting to your inner self, your mental health, and your mind. If you don’t believe that some people might face some problems in that department then maybe this blog will change your mind. Seeing the world as more than just a binary of “happy” and “sad” will seriously change your life.

My parents knew almost nothing about depression when I first started my high school cry for help. They didn’t say they were clueless. They definitely didn’t know what to do or where to start when it came to addressing a situation that was unraveling before their eyes. Like most in their generation, they were raised to rub some dirt on it, wipe away tears, and get back up again. For all intents and purposes, this isn’t a terrible mindset to have. I mean, these are the men and women who have fought a couple of wars and whose parents survived the Great Depression. Was there really another way?

Generally speaking, in their generation, problems were dealt with in the home. Even then, no one really had the resources, technology, or knowledge about mental health to advocate for it or understand it like we do now. We constantly say that more and more people have mental illnesses now, but what if people just weren’t willing to be anything other than “normal?”

All that being said, my parents are definitely outliers amongst their peers. When others didn’t really understand or support my confusing disdain for everything around me, my dad was driving the mental health support train with my mom blowing the whistle. I’m blessed. People often applaud me for being open about my mental health journey, but they never think to applaud my parents for taking the leap with me. Being so vocal about my experiences has meant putting some really vulnerable moments online that people don’t always understand, especially when they think that I just wake up every day and choose to have depression or anxiety.

Yes, I did have pink hair & no, I don’t regret it.

I was probably 19 when I first had someone ask why I couldn’t just be happy. The look on their face was a mix of judgement and genuine curiosity. I’ve gotten the whole “I would NEVER take medicine,” thing too many times to count. I still tease my mom about saying “I think you should just get some exercise and you’d feel way better,” when she started to notice my mood shift downward.

If there was any possible way that I could wake up, press a button, and decide my diagnoses wouldn’t bother me that day, I would do so in a heartbeat. I’m going to take a leap of faith in saying that literally every single person that has a mental illness would do the same thing. I absolutely don’t blame people for not feeling like medicine is their thing. It’s not my thing either! But damn, you don’t wanna hang out with this homegirl without her meds because it’s what WORKS FOR ME! Also, I would love to just sweat/eat right/meditate/sleep/work all of it out, but that’s not how it works.

Mental illness is exactly that: mental. You can’t see my social anxiety from across the room at the doctor’s office, but it’s very much there and it’s very much real! That classic Bob Marley song that I conveniently used as the title for this blog also used to piss me off when I was younger because I was worrying all the time which in turn made me the exact opposite of happy. You know the one. I get it. It’s a song. It’s supposed to make you feel good. But, just because you haven’t felt mental illness in your mind or coursing through your body doesn’t make the experience less real for someone else.

I haven’t personally broken my leg, but I understand that it would probably hurt. I don’t need to feel my bone break to believe in that kind of pain or suffering. More importantly, I trust the opinion of doctors that study and treat those people in the best way that they know how. Does a psychologist need to put someone’s head in a cast to have the world believe that you can’t just wake up and be healed? Maybe I’m comparing apples and oranges, but if someone asked why you can’t just choose to start running on your broken leg you wouldn’t know where to start. If they shamed you for taking ibuprofen because when THEY broke their leg THEY didn’t have to, how would you feel? If they told you to just get some more sleep and it would go away, what would you say?

So yeah, don’t worry and be happy, my friends. But know, that there’s a time and place where you or the people around you can’t easily fit into the mold that is “happy.” Understanding each other is the first step in advocacy for mental illness. Even if you’re lucky enough to not have a first hand experience with mental illness, knowledge in the fact that there’s not just two camps of “happy” and “sad” can go a long way in how we love and treat one another.

Even if this blog still seems like some sort of persuasive essay and you still haven’t been convinced, I hope you’ll take a look at resources like National Alliance on Mental Illness who can say all this stuff more technically and less based on personal experience. Moral of the blog: I hope you never ever question why someone’s “choosing” to be sad. I hope you tell your kids, grandma, dog, lizard, succulent, and any other life form that will listen that happiness isn’t a choice. It’s something that you work at. Some of us just need a little support in that department.

Here at EmyD you’ll see an ongoing narrative that if you’re trying your best, no one can ask anything else of you. That goes for happiness too. If you’re trying your best to get up, show up, and just survive, in whatever that looks like right now, I’m proud of you!

Have you ever felt misunderstood or misrepresented in your mental state? Even after explanations, examples, and tears? You are not alone! Connect with me on any of the social below – I want to hear your story!

Edited by Vanessa Reza. Contact info can be found on the ‘Contact Me’ page.

Girls Gotta Stick Together

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I don’t know if you guys get this vibe from me, but I’m definitely one of those girls that’s let the phrase “it’s so hard to get along with girls,” come out of my mouth. You know the type. My best guy friend when I graduated high school was a dude (shoutout to MC).

Don’t get me wrong, I’m dramatic. Like I’m the definition of the word. BUT, I always found it easier to get along with guys than I did girls, again you know the type. Growing up, I was closest in age to all my boy cousins – so I always wanted to fit in with them at family events. I wanted to joke around, like get all gross, and play a really rousing game of kick soccer balls as hard as we could at each other. It was fun at the time.

Lynds, Syd, and I are definitely queens in our own right, but you can see how the cousins are a little male dominated.

In middle school, I had my first super close group of all girl friends. We were all really involved in our sports, some of us were in theater, we had the cheerleader. But most of all, in that phase of our life that everyone was supposed to be like wearing the darkest shades of lipstick they could find to attract all the 6th grade boys – we were much more concerned with having fun in our little group. We went to different high schools, grew into different people, and were never nearly as close as those formative middle school years, but damn if those girls didn’t set the standard for the kind of girls I want in my life.

Keep in mind, again, that I’m dramatic. Okay? We’re all on the same page there? Cool. I was on the girls swim team and in a lot of theater. It was definitely the environment I was in and a terribly depleting self confidence level, but I kind of started to see girls as constant competition. Like, there was always something better about the girls around me. I mean, in swim, it came down to literal times… numbers on a clock. So essentially, everyone that wasn’t in your lane was someone you wanted to touch faster than. For theatre, everyone that auditioned was someone that could get the role or the spot over you. You just had to be better.

I don’t necessarily think that that mindset is isolated to young women. Young men are in constant competition to be the best in those formative years too. Regardless, it’s a fucking exhausting mindset to be in and it’s a truly a never ending race.

It’s hard to unlearn that behavior when you’ve been doing it for so long. But, right now, think of the coolest person that you possibly can. You don’t have to have met them. In your head, you probably imagined someone who’s able to relate and get along with everyone, right? The coolest people around aren’t the one’s that are mean to everyone or constantly at people’s throats. They’re the ones with genuine hearts that shine threw when you desperately need them.

I say this a little bit in a podcast about toxicity in one’s life (which you can find here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6lTH6P96KvyRNyVgTqDIqW?si=lzAd0x8rStWNaqgo1b9AhA) You’re not going to get along with everyone. There are going to be coaches, coworkers, and bosses that you really don’t like. Part of growing up and showing maturity, though, is being able to communicate with those people in a civil way. Especially for women. We’re already at odds in the workplace and society – showing respect for everyone is just one way that you can be an ally!

Also, this is not to be confused with the fact that you should just stfu and not speak your truth. Civil disobedience has made some serious changes to this world. There’s a difference, though, between speaking up for your injustices or for the voices that aren’t always heard, and trying to stifle out a voice.

I got the international women’s sign behind my ear as my fourth tattoo because I wanted another tattoo. I wanted something behind my ear. I was feeling like a strong ass woman. Truthfully, I forget that it’s there, but it’s moment when I’m standing up for women, spreading my arms, or giving love to those who need it that I know I made the right decision.

My ex’s ex recently came to me apologizing if she had overstepped for sharing a story about her experience with him. Someone had pointed out similarities and said she was “copying” me. Nah, she just also had the unfortunate chapter that involved the same narcissistic abuser. I’m not the first to feel that way, nor am I going to be the last. Sharing my experience does not mean that hers didn’t happen! It got me thinking about how quick people are to pin women against each other. Online, in person, whatever.

We know that some of the most powerful moments are those that we support one another. A strong woman can change the tides, but a strong woman and her army??? DAMN.

As I’ve grown up, I still find it really easy to get along with guys. Now, however, I have a fierce urge to stand up for, connect with, and love the women around me as well. I have been on this earth for 22 years dealing with just some of the bullshit that women have to go through – having each other as allies just makes this world a better place. So, yeah, that phrase that the nicest person you’ll ever meet is the drunk girl in the bathroom is totally true. What if we didn’t live in a world where alcohol was needed to break down those barriers? What if showing sincere affection and compassion for others was what was ingrained, rather than hypothetical competition? Just food for thought.

Find a crowd that makes you feel good & that cherishes you for being unapologetically you. Ladies, I can promise you that there’s nothing better than walking into the function with some of your best friends, looking great, and knowing that you all have each other’s backs.

Who’s your girl group? Who makes you feel like a badass bitch? I wanna hear about it! Let’s celebrate womanhood!! Slide into my DMs on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook. Or, email me at emydsaliby@gmail.com to chat with me today.

My Take: March for Life

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I know that not all my followers are going to agree with me here. I know that not even all my friends agree with me. It’s controversial – I’m not really sure why sexuality or reproductive rights fall under that hush-hush category, but here we are.

Listen, I’m so for collective, social action. The people that are in office are working FOR us. Our votes got them into their seats and their votes should therefore reflect those Americans. I’m gonna say it, though, I think March for Life is grasping.

I read a lot of news through the explore page on Twitter. It pissed me off to see captions that read “We are the generation for life.” I think that you’d have to be a literal psychopath to not want happy, healthy life for Americans.

Before we move forward, I should just make sure that I say that I consider myself VERY much pro-choice. I absolutely don’t want more women to get abortions because the circumstances that lead them to make that decision are just awful. So, fighting for that right does not mean that I want more women to do it. What it means, is that the choices about my body, my future, and whether or not I’m ready for a family will be made by me. At risk of sounding a little cold, Karen from Montana’s choices about reproduction do not affect me at all….. so who the fuck am I to stop her from doing what she feels is right? So, pro-choice is just that. If abortion goes against your morals or your religion, don’t get one. If you know in your bones that it’s the right decision to make based on the circumstances that got you there, you should have that right.

March for Life isn’t even about life, though. I mean, that’s a generalization, but if you talk to anyone that is fiercely “pro-life” they’ll start arguing that there are other options. “You’re old enough to have sex, you should be old enough to deal with the consequences.” and “What about the adoption?” Those would be really valid arguments, if any government money was then being allocated to social programs to help children in need or the foster care system? You can’t force women to have children when they would have chosen abortion and call that a “solution”, when the problem is that the needs of the child can’t be met for the next 18 years.

So, “pro-life” shouldn’t even be what that side is called. It’s pro-birth. You don’t want increase tax money that can go to resources to help these mothers in need. You don’t give a fuck that the foster system is one of the most broken institutions in our country. You want a woman to carry a sack of cells to full term just for the purpose of birth. I will add, the woman’s life is also a life, right? Or, does it only count as a life when it’s in someone’s uterus? If you’re going to state that you’re fighting for life, it’s gotta be for all lives involved!

I will clarify for some people who are ready to tear me apart in a comment or tweet. A) This is my singular opinion. It’s a personal blog. Chill. B) Of course, life has context that should be considered! Like do I think that they should allow a woman to get an abortion at 39 weeks pregnant? No. Like all rights and freedoms that we have in this country, there is reasonable and rational guidelines. For example, you have all the free speech you want until you start saying racial slurs in a mall, then your ass is going to jail.

The most important decorations at the bar! Planned Parenthood has a ton of cool mass mobilization initiatives & ways to get involved @PPact on Twitter!

I’m not even going to get into the broken record that is “What about women who are raped or victims of incest?” In my mind, all reasonable people are empathetic enough to understand that a woman should not be forced into motherhood as she was forced into a sexual encounter. So, I’m not even going to use that argument to backup my argument.

What I will say, is that 77% of Americans do NOT want to overturn Roe v. Wade, according to NPR and PBSNews. That’s a pretty hefty majority. So yes, there are thousands of people at this march – but there have been millions of people who’ve marched for women’s rights since the 1920s’. Honestly, I know that I’m on the right side of history here, but there was, at one point, a group of people that thought women voting was morally wrong as well. That is definitely comparing apples to oranges, but historical context – wins and losses from both sides – are so important in making these policy changes.

Overturning Roe v. Wade might make you sleep better at night or that a group is a bunch of murderers. It doesn’t stop abortions though. It opens the flood gates of unsafe, unclean, or at-home abortions that woman will see as a last resort. Which puts the life of the mother in danger and still terminates a pregnancy like this movement doesn’t want? I guess, I’m just confused…

If you don’t believe in abortions, don’t get one. If you think that pre-marital sex is a sin, don’t have it. If you believe that a sack of cells is considered a baby, more fucking power to you. But, just no one should be forced to get an abortion by their government, no one should be forced to be a mother either.