Girls Gotta Stick Together

I don’t know if you guys get this vibe from me, but I’m definitely one of those girls that’s let the phrase “it’s so hard to get along with girls,” come out of my mouth. You know the type. My best guy friend when I graduated high school was a dude (shoutout to MC).

Don’t get me wrong, I’m dramatic. Like I’m the definition of the word. BUT, I always found it easier to get along with guys than I did girls, again you know the type. Growing up, I was closest in age to all my boy cousins – so I always wanted to fit in with them at family events. I wanted to joke around, like get all gross, and play a really rousing game of kick soccer balls as hard as we could at each other. It was fun at the time.

Lynds, Syd, and I are definitely queens in our own right, but you can see how the cousins are a little male dominated.

In middle school, I had my first super close group of all girl friends. We were all really involved in our sports, some of us were in theater, we had the cheerleader. But most of all, in that phase of our life that everyone was supposed to be like wearing the darkest shades of lipstick they could find to attract all the 6th grade boys – we were much more concerned with having fun in our little group. We went to different high schools, grew into different people, and were never nearly as close as those formative middle school years, but damn if those girls didn’t set the standard for the kind of girls I want in my life.

Keep in mind, again, that I’m dramatic. Okay? We’re all on the same page there? Cool. I was on the girls swim team and in a lot of theater. It was definitely the environment I was in and a terribly depleting self confidence level, but I kind of started to see girls as constant competition. Like, there was always something better about the girls around me. I mean, in swim, it came down to literal times… numbers on a clock. So essentially, everyone that wasn’t in your lane was someone you wanted to touch faster than. For theatre, everyone that auditioned was someone that could get the role or the spot over you. You just had to be better.

I don’t necessarily think that that mindset is isolated to young women. Young men are in constant competition to be the best in those formative years too. Regardless, it’s a fucking exhausting mindset to be in and it’s a truly a never ending race.

It’s hard to unlearn that behavior when you’ve been doing it for so long. But, right now, think of the coolest person that you possibly can. You don’t have to have met them. In your head, you probably imagined someone who’s able to relate and get along with everyone, right? The coolest people around aren’t the one’s that are mean to everyone or constantly at people’s throats. They’re the ones with genuine hearts that shine threw when you desperately need them.

I say this a little bit in a podcast about toxicity in one’s life (which you can find here: You’re not going to get along with everyone. There are going to be coaches, coworkers, and bosses that you really don’t like. Part of growing up and showing maturity, though, is being able to communicate with those people in a civil way. Especially for women. We’re already at odds in the workplace and society – showing respect for everyone is just one way that you can be an ally!

Also, this is not to be confused with the fact that you should just stfu and not speak your truth. Civil disobedience has made some serious changes to this world. There’s a difference, though, between speaking up for your injustices or for the voices that aren’t always heard, and trying to stifle out a voice.

I got the international women’s sign behind my ear as my fourth tattoo because I wanted another tattoo. I wanted something behind my ear. I was feeling like a strong ass woman. Truthfully, I forget that it’s there, but it’s moment when I’m standing up for women, spreading my arms, or giving love to those who need it that I know I made the right decision.

My ex’s ex recently came to me apologizing if she had overstepped for sharing a story about her experience with him. Someone had pointed out similarities and said she was “copying” me. Nah, she just also had the unfortunate chapter that involved the same narcissistic abuser. I’m not the first to feel that way, nor am I going to be the last. Sharing my experience does not mean that hers didn’t happen! It got me thinking about how quick people are to pin women against each other. Online, in person, whatever.

We know that some of the most powerful moments are those that we support one another. A strong woman can change the tides, but a strong woman and her army??? DAMN.

As I’ve grown up, I still find it really easy to get along with guys. Now, however, I have a fierce urge to stand up for, connect with, and love the women around me as well. I have been on this earth for 22 years dealing with just some of the bullshit that women have to go through – having each other as allies just makes this world a better place. So, yeah, that phrase that the nicest person you’ll ever meet is the drunk girl in the bathroom is totally true. What if we didn’t live in a world where alcohol was needed to break down those barriers? What if showing sincere affection and compassion for others was what was ingrained, rather than hypothetical competition? Just food for thought.

Find a crowd that makes you feel good & that cherishes you for being unapologetically you. Ladies, I can promise you that there’s nothing better than walking into the function with some of your best friends, looking great, and knowing that you all have each other’s backs.

Who’s your girl group? Who makes you feel like a badass bitch? I wanna hear about it! Let’s celebrate womanhood!! Slide into my DMs on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook. Or, email me at to chat with me today.

A Goodbye to 2019

The last few New Years, I’ve entered feeling a sense of dread and emptiness. I always thought that the year had been this big failure. I didn’t get skinny, rich, or super successful…. so it was a wash, right?

I will say, I looked good at the start of 2019. But, I had my doubts..

This year, I felt different about the promise of a new year though. Maybe I’m still on this high of graduating and feeling like everything is going to change in this big ah-ha moment. I just felt like this year I learned a lot that was actually substantial to who I’ll become.

This year, I learned that being alone doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re lonely. I spent the first half of the year talking to, seeing, and worrying about my ex – as if one day, our broken foundation would just fix itself and we could be happy. If I’m being honest, it wasn’t really me that chose to move on either. It was thrust upon me with words that felt like bullets. It was like I had hit rock bottom so many times, that I was numb to the feeling. If someone can say things and treat you in ways that they don’t even value your life or safety, RUN FOR THE HILLS. I was with him because it was comfortable, because he was all that I felt I deserved in my moments of self hatred. However, 2019 showed me that being alone isn’t necessarily this scary thing that I’ve built it up to be in my head. My value doesn’t come from men messaging me on dating apps. I must feel my value if I want to attract people that will uphold that standard. I spent time with some amazing guys & past Emily probably would have been into anyone that even breathed in her direction. 2019 taught me that being alone is an opportunity to find yourself, rebrand, and reenter the world as the person you want to be. More importantly, being single gives you the opportunity to fully understand the people that are worth your time and those who are not.

2019 also taught me that sometimes, you have to be fucking selfish. For a long time, I thought that being an ally in mental health meant being understanding of every action someone has against you. Part of being an ally, though, is being an ally for yourself. It’s being empathetic and compassionate without allowing your dreams or goals to take a back burner. For most of my adult life, I’ve been so emotionally invested in others or their struggle, that I failed to deal with my own. I realized that decisions that effect those around you are going to work out when made confidently and from a place of love. I have this business where I just want to help as many people as I can… but part of that is knowing when to say no, when to step away, and when to just chose you too.

2019 taught me who I really want to be – not who I want to be with someone, because of someone, or because it made the most sense. 2019 taught me that I don’t have to get married to my high school sweetheart, pop a couple kids out, and live in my hometown to be successful. If anything, 2019 made me realize that going off this path that I had felt like was my own for so long, was actually the best thing for me. It made me realize that I was achieving for everyone else but me. I had goals in my life purely because I wanted to be better than the girls my ex was sleeping with behind my back. I had some goals purely because “that’s just what you do” as a Midwestern girl. 2019 made take a crazy path of starting a new blog, starting a podcast, and having this unwavering belief that it was going to explode.

2019 taught me how to forgive and move on. It made me realize that I had to feel that anger, hurt, and hatred for those toxic forces in my life in their entirety, before I could allow myself to forgive them. Before I could move on. 2019 gave me a reason to believe that something much bigger and better is out there, even if it’s just a feeling in the pit of my stomach right now. 2019 is learning to forgive the people that you never ever want to see again – even if it’s only so that you can deal with the anger and walk away. 2019 was forgiving a man that I felt destroyed by, only to be thankful that he made me learn strength and perseverance. The year was about forgiving myself for being someone I wasn’t for so long. It was about dealing with the hatred that I had for past decisions and actions, so that I could finally move on and reach a potential meant for me.

Most importantly, 2019 taught me to not give a single fuck what anyone else thinks. It taught me to dive so hard and powerfully into the unknown, regardless of what anyone around me thought. It taught me to say what I meant, without this worry of rejection. It taught me to post what I felt good about, wear what I felt good in, and only be around people that made me smile. 2019 taught me the one and only person I need to have on my side, is myself.