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I Got a Deep Tissue Massage for Pain. Here’s How It Went:

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Sometimes, I feel like I’m an old woman in a mid-twenty body. The amount of muscle aches and joint cracks that I have throughout the day just doesn’t seem right. Years of sports, dancing, and studying with poor posture makes the chiropractor a must for me. Recently, though, I got a deep tissue massage to see if my pain would go away! Here’s how it went:

The Location I Chose

One thing that’s good about adulthood: you get gifts that actually make sense in your life. For Christmas, I now ask for upgraded kitchen appliances or linen rather than iTunes gift cards & bedazzled yoga pants I was asking for before

My parents loaded a hefty sum onto a gift card for me for my birthday to a local spa so I had to treat myself. It’s something I would never spend my actual money on, but desperately needed. Go to a spa with great reviews and make sure the massage therapist also have raving reviews! I went to Bellasazi in Janesville, WI and love it there! (Not sponsored, by the way – just a happy customer!)

The Process

First and foremost, I want to reiterate that my joints, muscles, and ligaments are effed up. One job, I sit at a desk or pose for photos and the other one I’m upright on a cement floor for 8 hours at a time. Neither really mend themselves to great musco-skelatal health. So, when the paperwork said to disclose every single time you were uncomfortable, I knew that I had to listen to my body. I knew that getting deep knots out of my shoulders wouldn’t feel like a feather. There were parts that were a little uncomfortable.

However, the massage therapist I saw was great at asking questions before we started, during, and even after the appointment. If something starts to actually hurt, don’t be afraid to make that known. Their job is to make you feel relaxed and rejuvenated. Unfortunately, they can’t read your mind – so it’s your job to speak up when something isn’t feeling too good!

That Being Said…

I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to speaking up at professional salons, clinics, and spas. I often gaslight myself into thinking that I’m making up pain or invalidate the uncomfortability I’m feeling in my stomach. So, I get not wanting to verbalize those feelings in that space. My advice: write down the specifics on your intake paperwork! If they don’t have paperwork, really consider if this is the place for you!

The Aftermath

I’ve only gotten a couple massages in my short life. Not because I don’t want to get them all the time, but because I’m bad at scheduling things JUST for me! In my life, self care usually comes in small doses. A massage feels like a big, luxurious dedication of time that I don’t often feel like I have. I definitely do have the time. It exists. I just have to make it a priority!

My selfie from right after the massage. Notice the headrest line on my forehead? LOL!

In the days following my massage, I felt a little bit of soreness in my upper body. It almost felt like something had been released and those muscles were still setting into place – like when you take trips to the chiropractor! Also, the places where we really had to focus on knots were obviously tender, but nothing too crazy! My massage therapist prepared me for these things. I was told to:

  • – drink lots of water
  • – stretch (roll my head and my shoulders before bed)
  • – focus on my posture at work for the next couple day

My Thoughts

Asking for a massage is always a good idea. That’s not a hot take, that’s just the truth. Most of us are much less likely to spend our money on an experience that benefits us like a massage rather than a bag or shirt – even though they can be so beneficial! It’s definitely worth the time and money to go to a clean, highly rated spa in your area that you trust.

Next time, I won’t wait until after I’ve hit a breaking point when it comes to back pain in hopes that it could be a little more relaxing for me! I will definitely be going again when I get a couple of days off to go and recover for maximum results. Deep tissue massages are the ultimate self care tool. 

Like what you see? Read more blogs here! Connect with me on any socials for daily content and tell me your massage stories!

The 5 Best Ways to Support Friends with Mental Illness

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At a recent therapy session I was asked, “Who do you have in your corner? Who can you count on to always support you?” I was overwhelmed by this question. There’s a lot of names that come to my mind: family, friends, and coworkers. Knowing that having a dedicated support system is something that some in my shoes do not, I was able to easily name people who I know will always be there. The people in my life do quite a bit to be allies in my mental health journey. There are a couple of ways my friends have supported me and my mental illness that I aim to do with all my relationships!

Ways to Support Your Friends with Mental Illness

Everyone’s mental illness and mental health needs are different. First off, this is not a one size fits all. I’m also NOT a mental health professional, doctor, or therapist. There’s nothing about this blog that is medical advice – only sharing what has been a huge benefit in my own life!

Number 1: Communicate!

The darkest part of my mental health journey was accompanied with pushing away those I loved most. I felt like a burden on their happiness because I wasn’t happy. One thing that really benefitted me was my best friends always communicating with me, even when it was really hard. I credit my friend, Taylor, for saving my life because when I stopped communicating she continued asking questions, encouraging me, and reaching out to my parents when things got scary.

It can be really hard to verbalize all the things going on in your mind when you’re struggling. However, knowing that you have someone who won’t hate or judge can be an actual lifesaver.

Number 2: Normalize Conversations about Mental Health!

Half of American adults with major depressive disorder will go without treatment this year. We have a serious lack of mental health resources in this country. Those that we do have tend to be pricey and not realistic for the average American. People also avoid getting treatment because of the stigmas that surround all mental illnesses. Emotional and mental health are just as important as physical health. No one is embarrassed to talk about their broken arm; we have to approach mental illness in the same way!

If one of your friends is having a hard time coping with a diagnosis or difficult mental health period, normalize the convo! Being candid about your own mentality (even if you don’t suffer from mental illness) can open the floor for conversation. Also, when people know that their support system does occasional “mental health checks” they are much more likely to reach out in a time of emergency or serious need!

Number 3: Be Patient!

This blog, or millions of blogs, will not be enough to truly say how lucky I am with my support system. One thing I can never repay is the amount of patience that those around me have given in my rough times. Sometimes, those struggling can be the hardest to love. We’re angry, sad, happy, excited, depressed, numb, and every emotion in between. It’s hard to keep up with it all.

Roomie is a huge supporter of my mental health! Who’s yours?

Friends might flake, drop the ball, and be ugly towards you because of how they feel about themselves. I can confidently say it’s nothing to do with you. One of the hardest things you’ll ever do is continuing to invite, communicate, and encourage someone who is not reciprocating or acknowledging your time. It does, however, make a huge difference to those suffering so DON’T feel like it’s for nothing!

Number 4: Know Your Limits!

All of number 3 being said, you need to know your limits when it comes to other’s mental health and your own. Unless you’re a parent or guardian of a child, you’re never responsible for another human’s well-being. You, my friend, always need to make sure you’re healthy first!

In the past, I’ve had a serious problem with trying to take a lot of others’ mental health problems on my plate in order to avoid my own issues. If being an advocate for another’s mental health is causing you to go to a bad place, PLEASE STOP! You don’t do anyone any good when you’re also hurting.

Number 5: REPORT WHEN NECESSARY!

Again, I’m absolutely not a professional here… but when I say sometimes you need to report, I’ve never been more serious. Having friends who aide in your mental health journey can be a huge advantage, but it’s NOT a fix all. Everyone’s struggle is different. Personally, I’ve needed professional help, medicine, and my loved ones’ support to get through some of the hardest times in my depression and anxiety.

It took my friend “reporting” to really confirm to my parents that I needed professional help. Don’t be afraid to let someone know what’s going on in case of an emergency – it might cause tension at first, but it could save a life!

Thoughts? Story to share? Connect with me on my socials below!

Triggers from a Migraine Sufferer

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** This post may contain affiliate links which means I may receive a commission, at no cost to you, if you make a purchase through one of the links**

I had my first migraine at 17 years old. In and out of the hospital for 5 days, we realized that there’s nothing neurologically wrong but I was going to struggle with chronic migraines. I’ve spent seven years trying to figure out what triggers migraines and though I can’t predict them precisely – I’ve gotten pretty good at figuring out what triggers my migraines.

My Seasonal Allergies

Seasonal allergies have been killing me twice a year for most of my adult life. Usually, having a stock of sinus relief is all I need to get through those times. Having allergies, however, does trigger a lot of migraines for me. The added pressure behind my eyes and nose can spiral into a really painful migraine sometimes. 

I have a blog about how to deal with seasonal allergies that are less than glorious. For me, the biggest thing is taking care of my eyes in these moments. I use a clarifying spray on my lashes and lids (you can get it here) and I wear my glasses to make sure it doesn’t add to it!

Bright Lights (in the big city!!)

Most people that I’ve talked to with migraine issues have sensitivity to light. It’s kind of like when you’re super hungover and any amount of light hurts. That’s the closest thing I can compare to light sensitivity in the time of migraine. It’s also difficult to be in rooms with a lot of blue light. Phones, TVs, and laptops stay off.

Lack of Water/Too Much Alcohol

In my adult years, I’ve started to make a vodka water my drink of choice. It does the trick while being the most hydration you can get in a mixed drink. Call it not being able to hang or that I’m a lightweight but binge drinking definitely does a different number on me than it once did. A lot of alcohol consumption, too much caffeine, or not enough water really does a number on me. It’s not instant, but after too many days of not treating my body right… I can pretty much count on a migraine. 

Stress

I’m a busy bee and I have a really bad habit of overworking myself. My plate is always full because I thrive on it being that way. There are moments, however, where I shouldn’t have loaded my plate quite as full. Stress is definitely a trigger for migraines. I discovered it when I was in my college days and studying for a week full of finals. Let’s just say the migraines were plentiful.

Lack of Sleep

We need to deconstruct burnout culture as soon as humanly possible. The narrative that we’re all supposed to work 70 hours a week, have student loan debt, and “sleep when you’re dead” is dangerous. Adults aren’t much different than children in the fact that we need full nights of sleep to function at our highest capabilities. If I get a couple nights of really bad sleep, I can pretty much count on having at least a headache.

Migraine Sufferers: I Got You!

In the years since I got my first migraine, I’ve developed some ways to combat them when they do flare up. Please remember that I’m not a doctor and have no idea if there’s any science behind these “emyd approved” remedies. They simply help me!

Migraine helmet – My best friend, Sydney, sent me a Tik Tok raving about a cap that puts pressure in all the right spot when you’re sleeping. It’s available on Amazon and I could not recommend anything more.

Vitamin C/Multivitamin – Keep your body in tip top shape even when you’re not feeding it the best things or getting enough sleep. I’ve started doing an Emergen-C every so often that makes me feel like Superwoman!

Benadryl – When you go to the ER for a migraine, they will give you Benadryl in your migraine cocktail to ease tension and relax your muscles. Obviously, check with a doc before you take this recommendation. But, I’ve started carrying them on me everywhere I go.

Do you also suffer from migraines? I’d love to hear about your triggers and remedies you’ve found for them. Tell me on my socials below!

Normalizing The Jobs We Love

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I’ve spent way too much time trying to describe what I do to people who don’t really care either way. That’s not supposed to be self-deprecating or a slight to me at all. Truly, it doesn’t matter what the day-to-day tasks of a “PR Strategist” are in the grand scheme of their lives; yet, I always go into detail talking about it. I lacked confidence in what I was doing for so long that I projected that onto those around me. In other words, I just assume that they think my job isn’t real. Stupid, I know. If there’s one thing I’ve learned through my early 20s & a global pandemic, it’s that paying the bills (in any way, shape, or form) & normalizing the jobs we love is pretty cool.

Call It A “Side Hustle”

I’ve worked at a restaurant for five years now. It’s been a huge source of my income throughout college and even after I graduated. Society made me feel like working as a server, bartender, or shift manager in the food service industry was almost embarrassing because of my education level. Expectations of our college graduates had me looking for jobs that didn’t sound remotely interesting because I couldn’t work in a restaurant

forever. 

I liked my job so much that I told my baby brother to work there too – so we’re roomies, coworkers, siblings, and friends. Crazy, right?

First off, I want to say that you can do whatever makes you happy for your whole life. You can serve, teach, write, coach, strip, or mine bitcoin if that’s what makes you happy and pays the bills. Who has the right to tell you otherwise? Second, working that restaurant job that I thought I had to move on from so quickly allowed me to fund my own business that was making absolutely NO money at first.

Knowing Your Worth

There’s a difference between doing what brings you joy and knowing your worth. Also, it’s important to understand that no matter what your education level, class, or financial standing, your time is worth money. Having a food service job has allowed me to price myself fairly in all aspects of my business. I have education and experience in this career, there is no reason that I should be making a larger hourly wage as a server. If that’s the case, find clients, brands, and businesses who will pay you FAIRLY!

I’m lucky that I really like both my jobs – I mean… I get paid to do skincare routines on Instagram. NORMALIZE DOING NONCONVENTIONAL AND FUN JOBS!

End Goal: Paying the Bills

I’ve always had a weird relationship with money. Even when I have a good amount of it saved, I want to know I have more constantly coming in. I want to be finding ways to increase my income streams. Watching two parents hustle for as long as I have, it’s part of my nature to just want to work really really hard for as long as humanly possible! 

The end goal, however, is always to pay the bills. Like millions of others in the United States, I have thousands of dollars in student loan debt that makes for a hefty bill each month. If I can have a business AND a restaurant job that alleviates some of the stress of that bill, why wouldn’t I? Paying your rent, filling your fridge, and treating yourself is nothing to turn your nose up to. Those who judge you for the way that you pay your bills probably aren’t the ones we want to be taking financial advice from. Am I right?

Normalizing the Jobs We Love

If you’re paying your bills, you’re doing pretty well. The fact that we turn up our nose at certain jobs or industries even though they’re what bring us joy seems silly. Unless those pushing you to be a lawyer are going to be paying your mortgage, they don’t really have a say in law school! 

If you need more proof, Giorgio Armani worked as a photographer’s assistant while on leave from the Italian military because he was obsessed with the art, fashion, and creativity aspect of life. He made $1.67 an hour but did what he loved and eventually paid WAY more than the bills (he’s worth $6.6 million dollars). Normalizing jobs we love isn’t a way of accepting average but realizing that we’re usually money magnets when we’re happy. 

Have something to share? Connect with me on any of my socials below!

Not Your Barbie Girl

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Recently, my roommate said something that I absolutely loved. “A lot of people that we look up to as ‘role models’ never asked for that. They were just really good at running, singing, or posting pics… so we decided they had to be role models,” she said. Until now, I didn’t really think about it. Of course, we want to be someone that others can look up to but does that risk our ability to be human, make mistakes, and live the life we want. Even though I put my life online, I’m not your barbie girl with the best answers or choices.

Potty Mouth Barbie

First things first, I’m a total potty mouth. If I feel like a sentence needs “fuck” in it, I will absolutely not be leaving it out. For a long time, I craved for my blog to be almost editorial; ready for a newspaper. I had an editor making grammar calls and changing sentence structure for a more intelligent sounding entry. In those moments, I really lost my voice and what I wanted my blog to feel like.

Editorial, perfected blogs are amazing, but I wanted my blog to feel like you were sitting down with a friend for drinks. I wanted the perfect middle ground between a Myspace post and a newspaper article. Part of that was allowing my writing to match my actual voice and being relatable in that way. So, I stopped censoring swear words and internet slang. I allowed myself to write in the way that I love and knew that the passion behind the words would bring the right audience to my website.

Do I want kids to drop the f-bomb in their papers? No. There’s a time and place for my style of writing (like a website that you own for an LLC that you pay for). Do I want my audience members to take all my words as law because I run a decently popular blog? Nope. I’m just trying to write about my experiences and relate to those who need it. Just let me write and speak, damn.

Party Girl Barbie

I was previously really nervous about posting photos/videos with alcohol in them. Truth is, though, I drink alcohol! I get drunk! Sometimes, I have too much, say stupid things, and stumble home at bar close. Sharing that, however, doesn’t mean I want my followers to drink, do drugs, or party.

I never claimed to be someone for the kids to look up to nor did I want others to see my Instagram photos and want to be me. Instead, I claimed to be someone who was willing to share my experiences with the world in hopes that someone can feel less alone. Obviously I hope that people read my blogs, like my photos, and interact with the content I’m creating, but it’s not the driving factor in my life. I know that my words, actions, and lifestyle do really relate to & entertain some people… it’s not my job to cater to the masses.

This brings up a larger conversation about people being raised, overwhelmingly affected, and easily influenced by those in the media. Sha’Carri Richardson will miss an opportunity to run at the Tokyo Olympics because she tested positive for marijuana. My feelings on those who vilify marijuana use is a story for a different blog. Sha’Carri never asked to be a role model; never claimed to be someone that young runners, women, or black girls should be looking up to. She was a good runner who wanted to go to the Olympics – why did that qualify her to teach the youth of America right from wrong?

Understanding My Responsibility

As someone who does have people following them and giving a shit about what I say, I have an inherent amount of responsibility. It’s my responsibility to be a kind, empathetic, and loving human being. When there are moments of injustice, it’s my responsibility to stand up for what’s right. 

While I might not have asked to be a role model, I understand that people do read my words and can be influenced by my actions. I want to be very, very clear here: I’m human. My social media presence is about confidence in who you are as a person, but it’s not a G-rated movie with a moral to present at the end. My words are for the person who needs the unapologetic & gritty truth about being an adult in the world we live in. It’s about seeing my mistakes and successes so that you can feel empowered to win and fail by yourself.

So, no, I’m not your Barbie girl. For those of you who don’t like that about me – no hard feelings! There are so many awesome content creators out there doing amazing things. Find the right one for you! Those of you who are here for all of this, thank you for your constant and overwhelming support!

Connect with me on my (sometimes NSFW) social media pages below!

If I Had a Redo

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I recently polled my followers to pick a topic for a blog. They seemed to want to know what I would do “If I Had a Redo” – which threw me through a bit of a loop. If you’ve never read EmyD Blog before, I typically like to find purpose in even the worst things. Seriously –  As someone with mental illness, sometimes seeing the silver lining is all that gets you through. That doesn’t mean, however, that I don’t have regrets, moments of embarrassment, and moments that I would change if I had a redo.

My Answer: College

A simple answer for you: college. I’ve thought about that a lot. All the things that I could have done, probably should have done, but didn’t because of the place that I thought should have been. I’m not here to throw shade at a 19 year old, EmyD. She had enough shit going on. I will, however, tell the things that I wish I did. So, if this blog finds itself on the screen of someone else who might have their true self invested all the way into someone else (or something else) they just might have the courage to take it all on solo. 

Redo 1: I would actually stay at college more!

I went to the University of Wisconsin – Madison. It’s about 40 minutes from my hometown. Throughout my freshman year, I had that drive so memorized I could have done it backward and blindfolded. A job in my hometown was my excuse to come home and see my high school boyfriend every weekend. “I needed to make money,” was the excuse I gave my dorm friends, as if we didn’t live in the state capital of Wisconsin and I wasn’t working at a chain restaurant. In actuality, I was just scared that he would forget about me if I was away for too long. 

Advice from EmyD

Take it from me, friends. If your partner forgets about you, they are not a good enough partner to keep around. Also, if you’re feeling insecure in your relationship enough to need it consistently validated, that’s a conversation that needs to be had. If you’re insecure in yourself that you think you can’t find better, that’s a conversation you need to have with you.

Redo 2: I wouldn’t have transferred!

Transferring did save me a ton of money (and probably mental breakdowns) but it was absolutely not a choice I would make again. At first, I would only tell people that I had transferred for the money aspect and because I was going to end up in law school anyways. In truth, I definitely transferred for a boy; for a relationship. We could both tell that our relationship was coming to an end and began to get desperate in our actions to save what we’d had since our freshman year of high school: moving in together, trying to raise a little puppy, and going to the same university. I still have two degrees and did the damn thing, but I wish it would have been at the better school I earned my way into. 

Advice from EmyD

If there’s one thing I want written on my grave, it’s “Do not change your dreams for your partner!” in the boldest font you can find. I’m serious. Having goals and dreams is really cool, someone that cares about you should want to support you to achieve them! Remember that you are NOT half waiting to be completed. You are a whole looking for someone to compliment your whole self! 

Redo 3: I would have broke it off, honey!

I was about halfway through my freshman year when my long term (and long distance) boyfriend cheated on me with a girl in his dorm. Did I swear off men for all eternity? Yes. Did I also take him back like two weeks later? Also, yes. My roommate was pissed. I chalked it up to her not liking me at the time, but now I realize that she was being a really good friend. The few and far between times that I did go out or go to meetings for things I was interested in I met a lot of cool guys that I really would have meshed with well. It almost always led to fights via text with the boyfriend. After our breakup, I started to realize that the only way I would heal my own negative inner dialogue was time alone. If I didn’t think I was worth someone faithful and kind, I would always turn back to him.

Advice from EmyD

At 19, I felt like I had to be as adult as I possibly could. I had to have a serious boyfriend and settle down as fast as possible. While life is short, you’ve gotta experience it. You should not waste a single ounce of your energy begging for someone’s love, attention, or friendship. You are always worthy of kindness. Even being alone is better than someone who doesn’t see that in another person. 

So, would I really redo it?

Yes. I know that reading this blog makes it seem like I hated years 18-22 of my life. That’s not true at all. I had some of the most amazing moments of my life in my college years. I wouldn’t trade them, or the people within them, for anything! However, there are certainly some parts of college that I would redo if I had the chance. There’s lessons that I absolutely had to learn so that 24 year old EmyD could write this for you today. The good, bad, beautiful, and ugly have all played a part in who I am now. 

What would you redo if you had the chance? Tell me on any of the socials below!

My Experience: The Covid Vaccine

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** This post may contain affiliate links which means I may receive a commission, at no cost to you, if you make a purchase through one of the links**

I’ve teamed up with Ad Council and Heartbeat to help people get informed about the COVID vaccine! As someone who’s fully vaccinated, it’s easy for me to encourage everyone I meet to also get the vaccine, but it’s so important to have accurate and timely information at your fingertips that are actually CDC-credited. My vaccine experience was really positive and the information from AdCouncil is still helpful over a month later!

My Experience: Dose One

I got my first dose in late March through work. The restaurant in which I work has a contract in which we deliver food to locations where COVID exposure is a possibility. Since we were working with front line workers and those being sponsored by the state, hospitals, nonprofits, etc. we were blessed to get vaccines relatively early compared to others in Wisconsin.

Other than waiting for a bit for my turn, my first dose was awesome! The only side effect that I had was a lot of muscle pain in my right arm. Other than that, I felt great! I had to wait 3 weeks for my second dose as I got the Pfizer vaccine.

My Experience: Dose Two

I went to the same place for dose number two. With so many people trying to get in for their second dose or finally get their first in Wisconsin, the pharmacy was popping to say the least! The turn around time of this one was actually much faster and easier. My experience with dose number two was also really great! To be honest with you, I felt like Superwoman when my pharmacist handed me the fully filled-out vaccine card.

I did experience some side effects with dose number two. Honestly, with everything I had been reading, I was expecting to feel like I was on my death bed. Instead, I felt really run down: sleepy & achey. It was almost like I had a bad 16 hour cold. Truly, that was it, 16 hours of aches and pains to be fully vaccinated.

Would I do it again?

Yes, in a heartbeat. I was extremely blessed to be able to quarantine with my family for most of the pandemic, so I got to see them. The pandemic, though, made me really value just a small get together (and a good dive bar…). I’ve been able to go out to eat without as much stress about contracting the virus and passing it on, seen my grandma, and finally been able to give hugs! Before getting my vaccine, I wasn’t always comfortable in these social situations or I’d at least feel guilty after.

Should you get it?

As your residential mental health & lifestyle blogger, I have absolutely zero credentials in telling you the benefits of getting vaccine versus remaining unvaccinated. However, I think that you should make the most informed decision you possibly can. Preferably, that decision would be made with with accurate and timely information from the Center of Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Check out AdCouncil’s website for important for you and your age group in terms of the COVID19 vaccine!

Wanna share your experience with me? Connect with me on one of the socials below or head to my ‘Work with Me‘ page!

A Life Lesson from the Kentucky Derby

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I’ll be honest. I don’t really follow the Kentucky Derby, nor do I really feel the need to gamble on that. I mean, how do we really know the horse just isn’t having a bad mental health day? What if they don’t want to run? Alright, I kid. You guys get the point though. This year, I heard that the winner has a pretty good story for those of us in need of a good life lesson.

The Background of Medina Spirit

Medina Spirit was as underdog as you can get when it comes to a big event like the Kentucky Derby. People will pay a pretty penny for the best bloodline of a horse that offers the best chance at winning the Derby. Media Spirit, however, was bought for only $1,000.00 – that’s cheap even for your everyday family horse!

The trainer that would eventually win with Medina Spirit, Bob Baffert, said the horse had “no fucking chance to win.” In fact, he was even pleasantly surprised that such a small and meager animal had made it to the Derby at all. He got on the horse expecting to beat by another horse in the competition.

My client, Lorraine Beato, just made an awesome post about this – check it out below:

The Win

To everyone’s surprise, the small horse purchased for one thousand dollar started in the lead and maintained it through the finish line. Medina Spirit’s worth became $1.85 million dollars on May 1st, 2021 despite even his trainer’s thoughts. 

So, What’s the Life Lesson Here?

There were a lot of people betting against Medina Spirit – literally. There were millions of dollars put on other horses in the race purely because of the horse’s size, muscle mass, and background. Still, the horse ran. The person they depended on most, their trainer, said they had no chance. Still, the horse ran.

There are going to be times in life where the people that we want validation from the most are our biggest naysayers. We still are going to have to run. People are going to scream hatred because of what our bodies look like, what our minds can do, and what our past has been made up of. Still, we must run.

It’s not for the people in the stands or the trainer. The others who raced against you will want to flex that they know you and your story. Running forward despite the setbacks, however, is for you. It’s to prove that the only person on this entire planet that can really set your worth is you. If you choose to show up as a $1.85 race horse, then the world will know you by literally nothing else.

Short and sweet. What are you going to do to show up and set your worth this week? Connect with my on my socials above!

Don’t Pop My Bubble!

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2021 has been the year of the boundary. Well, it’s been a work in progress, but that’s the overarching goal of this year. Last year, everyone was put through the ringer when the world practically stopped turning overnight. Everyone is still wading into “real life” that it’s hard to have goals, be productive, and set healthy boundaries. I’m really moving forward with the mindset that I have a bubble that should never be popped – not for friends, followers, or family. Allowing myself to have boundaries that keep me comfortable and aware of my own mental health is necessary to be the best possible version of myself that I want to present to myself. So, whatever you do, don’t pop my bubble!

Healthy Boundaries at Work

As most of you know, I’m my own boss. It comes with a huge pile of advantages, but also has some disadvantages that go hand-in-hand. For a person who’s a little fixated on control and success, like me, working from home can be really toxic. I’ve been known to wake up and do a couple hours of work in the middle of the night. I can’t get myself to sleep without feeling more productive when my head hits the pillow.

This year, I’ve started to set some boundaries when it comes to working. For one, I’ve stopped lowballing myself, my experience, and my time. I was creating contracts for people for a couple hundred dollars a month that would go for thousands if I was at a private PR agency. Stepping away from corporate life was my choice, but it doesn’t mean that my experience or education level is different from my counterparts!

I started to charge closer to an industry average. When it gets to be too late, I’m only on social media of my own for pleasure, rather than work. Physically, I outlined what I do (or what I expect to do for work) so that I had an extremely clear answer when someone approached me for work. All of my contracts were rewritten and rephrased to have more boundaries like: times in which I can be available, hours I’ll work, and other contingencies I just didn’t have.

When I Didn’t Fit, I Left!

My clients were all really receptive and appreciative of these boundaries. Not only did they benefit me, but they clearly defined my role in their business as well. Prior to this year, I was so concerned about making my business a success that I would stay in contracts that might not have fit what I envisioned my role being with EmyD. After creating these boundaries, I fulfilled contracts and then professionally stepped away when I felt that I wasn’t a good fit for the position, rather than forcing myself into the position!

Healthy Boundaries Online

I’ve written a blog about sharing online already. You’ll definitely come across some bloggers that find a lot of comfort in sharing their story online and hitting publish (like me!) You’ll also, however, find bloggers who don’t produce a lot of super personal content. Is either one better? Absolutely not. Blogs fulfill the needs of those writing them and those reading them, so what’s your cup of tea might not be mine! 

This year, I’ve realized the need for even more boundaries online as my following grows and more blogs are written. I’ve had followers find my personal number and send me sexually explicit images and texts. I’ve had people call me just to “talk”. It’s made me feel unsafe and a little icky. Though most people are very receptive when I express this, I have to constantly emphasize that though I may speak about mental health, it’s not healthy for me to take others’ mental health issues onto myself. I’ve had to clearly draw the line between “influencer” and my real life. Without it, I felt like I was living just to take photos and share them with people I didn’t know. Life was starting to feel catered to social media, which I never want to happen.

Healthy Boundaries with Loved Ones

You all know I’m an empath through and through. Breathing a little differently in my presence could cause me to ask you what’s wrong…even if nothing is. This is also thanks to a little friend I call anxiety, which makes me rethink the words and actions I have for what feels like forever. The lack of boundaries when it came to loved ones was starting to drive me a little crazy though. 

This year, I’ve been really trying to only spend my time and energy on what makes me feel good. That includes the people in my life. For so long, I was terrified of being alone and friendless that I wouldn’t speak up if I felt mistreated or upset. Recently, I’ve realized that I would rather be completely alone than feel upset in a group.

Being social doesn’t just happen everyday for me. Listening to my body and mind about whether I actually WANT to get on the Zoom or go to drinks has been life changing. It’s made me feel a lot more autonomy over my body. Also, when I do see my loved ones, its really really great because I feel good about being there!

Mindset to Help with This

Creating a bubble between you and the people you love is difficult! But, in order for you to be a great friend, sibling, boss, coworker, or whatever else you are, you need to advocate for yourself! One mindset that has really been getting me through is “If someone is mad at me or upset with me, it’s none of my business until they tell me”. It’s one of the first things you learn in Jen Sincero’s “You Are a Badass”!

It’s much easier said than actually implemented. Those of us with anxiety, however, it can really benefit making boundaries and sticking to them when it comes to advocating for yourself! If someone is unwilling to address a problem with you and validate your boundaries, why would you spend any amount of time thinking about it?! Remember, though, the same goes for your loved ones from you! If you’re unwilling to advocate for your boundaries or speak up about your problems, don’t expect them to spend anytime thinking about it!

The Takeaway

Boundaries are really really cool. As a society, we’ve started to think that social media, television, or gossip is the all-access pass into someone else’s life. At the end of the day, though, we all deserve to feel safe and calm in our own thoughts. Take it from someone who has told the whole Internet what her mental health chart says. Allowing yourself a healthy space so that you can feel autonomy, comfort, safety is essential. Boundaries make you a better person all around and much more empathetic when people are in need of you! So, I’ll say it again, don’t pop my bubble!

Trying to set boundaries? I want to hear about them! Connect with me on any of my socials!

Sunlight’s Effects on Mental Health

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The sun has been shining in Wisconsin for the last week or so and I have been in a really good mood. Not only that, but I’ve been full of energy, ready to work, and productive when I’m awake! There is snow still piled up outside and it hasn’t passed the 40 degree Farenheit mark, but it feels more like July than February over here! I started to wonder why this part of the year makes an annual dramatic shift in my day to day life. Clearly, the sunshine helps a lot, but what are the benefits of sunlight on mental health?

Not Sunlight, Actually Vitamin D

Though sunlight feels really good on your face after a long winter and brings out those cute freckles, it’s not actually sunlight doing all the hard work. It’s Vitamin D! It’s fairly common to have a slight Vitamin D deficiency. According to Healthline, nearly 42% of adults aren’t getting the right amount of Vitamin D. These small deficiencies can lead to depression, lack of sleep, and issues with eating. Big deficiencies can actually end up causing larger skeletal problems and mineralization in your bones.

I’ve been taking a Vitamin D supplement for some time at the advice of my doctor. But, why is this one vitamin so powerful? What does it do for mental health overall?

Vitamin D and Depression

There’s a huge correlation between vitamin D levels and people reporting they feel depressed. Those diagnosed with depression are more likely to be within the 42% of people who have an ongoing deficiency. Also, the receptors that intake all the Vitamin D are biologically in the same place as those that we study for depression. Coincidence? I think not!

Sunlight and Our Everyday Life

In general, sunlight dictates a lot of our routines and rhythms. If you’re in a place where days get shorter/colder during some parts of the year, you know how weird your routine can get with even the smallest of changes. It’s easier to get up when it’s light outside. It’s easier to get long, restful sleep when it’s dark outside – simple as that!!

To recap: Sunlight encourages a normal sleeping pattern which encourages a normal routine! If you haven’t allowed a self help podcast, blog, or book to infiltrate your brain yet, one of the first things they’ll recommend is establishing a routine that you feel confident in to be productive. In most people, increased hours of sunlight usually means an increase in productivity throughout their day. 

The Takeaway

I like to leave you guys with something to take away from the blogs. It might be something new that you didn’t know, maybe it’s a tidbit of information that makes you approach the world differently, or maybe it’s just a little something to make you smile!

As I finish this blog up, it’s rainy and dark outside. The opposite of everything I’ve been talking about in these last few paragraphs. In 2021, I hope that I soak up the sunshine – not just physically, but I soak up the serotonin that it feeds my brain. After a year of what felt like endless rain, we can all remember that sunlight is possible. We can look for the sun’s effects on our mental health every single day!

How is the weather making you feel? Tell me at any of my socials below!

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