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Acne At 23 Years Old

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I don’t know which beauty guru God I pissed off, but I’ve been having some serious cystic acne in these big breakouts throughout the pandemic. Acne has never really been a huge problem for me – I swam competitively for years which effectively burned every skin cell on my face. My hair too. The years when everyone else was struggling, I skated by pretty easily. Now, though, I’m feeling the pain because I’m getting acne at 23.

My Skin Type

 should probably tell you that I have combination to oily skin depending on the time of year. I get greasy pretty quickly. Finding a setting spray that actually keeps my makeup from melting off has been a work in progress that I’m still not totally confident in. 

I’m also a picker. Big surprise here: I’ve got some crazy anxiety that manifests itself in some hand fixations. While other people smoke or pop their gum, I’ve always been that annoyance that clicks the pens, picks, and cracks my knuckles. It’s not at all cute. On the brightside, it’s made me a very quick typer and therefore, a good content creator. Conversely, it makes healing blemishes a little difficult.

Stop Obsessing…PLEASE!

I feel like I’ve tried everything when it comes to healing my skin. It’s so cliche to have a big zit that makes you not want to go out in public, but I’m going through that as a full-blown adult! A respiratory pandemic that required masks has made it easier to literally mask some of the acne, but not the annoying (and painful) forehead breakouts. 

Men and women who have struggled with body dysmorphia or self consciousness in some form or another can understand what I mean when I say I’m very aware of myself. I am aware of the space I take up, the vibe I give off, and the cystic zit that sits right at my hairline. Like I’ve said before, the odds of anyone having the time or energy to care about the size of your forehead zit during a Target run. 

Just like with everything in life, the moment your mindset shifts from obsession over the ugliness and hatred for the natural things happening on your face to action or self care is when things start to change. 

Healing Time!

Considering that most of my generation gets their skincare advice from strangers on Tik Tok, I’ve come to the conclusion that I can’t possibly be the only experiencing frequent breakouts along with her quarter-life crisis. My dermatologist recommended a face wash in the shower called Panoxyl. It’s over the counter but pretty harsh – so be careful! It’s been a game changer for my oily skin, especially when I was in school and touching my face in exasperated sighs all the time. 

Big disclaimer: what works for me, might not work for you; even if our skin types are the same! I used a lot of cheap drugstore products to wash my face my whole life without problem. Now, however, I need to be a little more careful about the things that I’m putting on my skin. I’d encourage you to look up the long words that are in the ingredients list. You don’t have to spend heaps of money on good stuff either!! Brands like The Ordinary are available at Ulta for less than $10. 

I just posted this on my LikeToKnow.It profile! (liketoknow.it/emydblog) where you can find all the things that I use in my routine & where you can get them!

The Takeaway

As I get older, I’ve realized just how much the outside world affects my skin, my hair, my allergies, my appetite, and everything in between. I’m not sure if it’s because we become more introspective as we get older or maybe, it’s because I’m just absorbing too much of what’s around me. Though change in our routines can be scary, it’s sometimes necessary! Unfortunately, I can’t use the same products as when I was in a pool for 4 hours a day because it’s not my lifestyle anymore. 

Along with all of this though, is the reminder that your skin is imperfect and blemished just like every other person’s. We use makeup, apps, and software to make it look perfect… but you’re not unworthy of a photo or event because of a bad skin day. Even the beauty gurus that pop up on our Explore page don’t go through life without a breakout. I’m so tired of hiding my whole face because a blemish makes me feel unworthy. If we’re going to preach body positivity, it better be about the whole damn thing. 

Struggling with acne? Have a to-die-for solution? Connect with me on any of the social platforms below!

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Who Am I? Journaling Idea!

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Who am I? I could get specific and spout of my ancestry or where my distant relatives came from. I might even divulge that sulfa-based medication gives me hives. Give me a couple drinks and I just might whisper some secrets. But, who AM I? I mean, who am I really in the grand scheme of things?

Events That Answer “Who Am I?”

Believe it or not, a global pandemic helped make this question not as intimidating to me. I realized that it’s a question that doesn’t have to be answered in one day or a moment. That from the moment we come into this world to the moment we leave it, we’re working on answering the question. There are events in our life that help us a little more than others in the solution, of course.

For me, COVID-19 was a big one. It helped me to realize that living my life wasn’t dependent on the opinions of my friends or how many times I was invited to the bars each week. A happy life isn’t dictated by the amount of social engagements on the calendar, but by your ability to love, respect, and find happiness within yourself. At the start of all of this, I couldn’t find those things within myself. I really thought I could, but I relied too much on the validation of outside forces to find love on the inside for who I am.

At the end of the day, who you are is a big melting pot full of the people you’ve met, the things you’ve been through, and the beliefs that were instilled in you from those most important. All of us would like to believe that our melting pot is the best of the best, right?

This year, especially, I’ve tried to be understanding. I’ve tried to empathize, forgive, and understand as never before. I’ve tried to wrap my head around things that just stemmed from hatred without any luck. All the while, I’ve been asking myself where I fit in all of this?

As 2021 began, I was numb. There is not a doubt in my mind that 2020 was the most difficult of my life by far – and I spoke zero words to my ex! I was extremely negative about what 2021 had to offer me as cases of Coronavirus raged, our politics remained hateful, and we were surrounded by really heart wrenching things. I began to realize, however, that 2020 is not me. It’s not any of us.

It’s a chapter, maybe a long one, in our story that affects the overall plot. It takes our character arch through a loop that we never expected. If I didn’t let it, though, it didn’t have to alter who I am.

I’ve started journaling a lot more in 2021. My original journal entries were only so that I had evidence of all the ugly things that my boyfriend at the time was doing to me. As we broke up, it became a place that I could cry. It was essentially a book about a man that hurt me a lot. Now, my journal is a place in which I grow, learn, and wonder about myself and life around me.

My WHO AM I Journal/Goal Setting Prompt:

Who am I, right now,  in 5 describing words? Are these words that I would like someone else to use when describing me? These words are constantly changing. Always and forever. Is there a word that you’d like to change sooner? How has the stuff that made you feel not so good been ways to make you realize who you are? Who do you want to be?

Do you journal? Share with me at any of the social profiles below!

The Face of Agoraphobia

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Before actually getting a diagnosis, I wasn’t really aware of what agoraphobia meant. It seemed like people who avoided leaving the house were like the brother in The Benchwarmers – not people like me. It was even harder to verbalize the panic that I felt outside the comfortability of my bedroom. I was diagnosed with agoraphobia at 19. This is the face of agoraphobia.

About Agoraphobia

Agoraphobia is characterized as an anxiety disorder in which one fears locations or places that might induce panic or anxiety. For those with social anxiety, this is A LOT of places and can quickly spiral into something that’s difficult to cope with. Rather than feeling the stress when you’ve entered the place, you actually begin to get anxiety anticipating the location. 

Usually, you feel this anxiety because you’re aware that there’s no “out”. For example, people might feel symptoms of agoraphobia before going on a bus, train, or subway. There’s no easy way to get off and out of those situations.

Agoraphobia in My Life

I started to notice the symptoms of agoraphobia as a college student. I was walking into these huge lectures and being overwhelmed instantly. Worry about a power lecture would start the night before, rather than when I was planted in the seat. That’s a LOT of worrying about one 75 minute class. What if I had a panic attack in the middle of a row of lecture chairs? What if I missed something that was on the exam because I was trying to breathe in the bathroom?

To me, leaving the house was just a chore that I didn’t want to have to deal with. I’ve always been a homebody – but this was on a next level. At 19, the diagnosis of agoraphobia was officially added to my chart. It made sense; a lot of sense.

Treatment of Agoraphobia

Treating agoraphobia is similar to the treatment that one goes through for anxiety. You can be prescribed medication, like I was, that takes some of the edge off of entering those anxiety-inducing locations. You can go through therapy, also like me, to try and restructure your thought process surrounding these stressful moments.

In my life, treatment of my agoraphobia went hand and hand with that of my anxiety. It’s fairly common for those with panic disorder to suffer from symptoms of agoraphobia. Truthfully, I feared attending class, going out, and just leaving the house in general. I guess I really just feared having a panic attack in public. 

My Life Today

As I’m writing this, I no longer have agoraphobia on my medical chart. It was absolutely not something I just woke up without. There were a lot of therapy appointments, uncomfortable desensitization, and  I still have moments where I experience a lot of anxiety prior to certain events. There are other locations that trigger anxiety within me. It’s been really important to learn coping mechanisms and self-imposed boundaries for the most comfortable living. 

For the most part, though, I don’t worry about working a shift before I have to go work it. Like everyone else, I dread going to the grocery store because it’s lame; not because I’m scared of not having an out. Since most of my panic has subsided, I’ve seen a huge decrease in my agoraphobia symptoms as well. 

If you are feeling overwhelmed by places outside of your room, home, or comfort spot, PLEASE reach out to a professional. There are so many options and treatments that can be used to combat those feelings. You should never feel like the world is smaller for you because of your mental illness, but if you do right now, you’re absolutely not alone. My name is Emily and I was diagnosed with agoraphobia. This is the face of agoraphobia. 

What are your thoughts? Link up with me on any of the socials below!

Seven Things to be Thankful for in 2020

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It’s weird to think that this year is going to be in the textbooks’ of the next generation. There’s so many things that went horribly wrong, that it’s hard to list the things that are actually going right. We all had to adjust to a different way of living, loving, and learning. Hopefully, the vaccine makes things go a little back to normal. It’s important to list the things that we feel thankful for and really hold onto them in a bad season. Here are seven things to be thankful for in 2020.

1. Dogs, Always Dogs

I already posted on my Instagram that I am so so so thankful for the dogs in my life. My roommate rescued Matilda Mae, who we call Tildy, in the end of September. Not only has she made one of my best friends so happy, but she’s made our apartment feel more like a home. My family dog, Cooper, hasn’t been feeling the best and it’s made me realize just how grateful I am to have had to guard my food from him for all these years. Nala, my personal shadow, has been the emotional support I desperately needed more times than once. Dogs literally love us more than we will ever love ourselves. For that, I’m pretty damn thankful.

  • Shelby’s sweet Matilda girl
  • Nala, Sullivan, Cooper, and I
  • Nala had to get shaved in quarantine… so she had some funny ears for a while.

2. Brands that Align Themselves with My Clients and I

This one is not as relatable, but it’s something that I’m thankful for! Not only have I been able to stop working my day job, I’ve been able to help other influencers do the same. We’ve been able to find brands that make us feel all warm and fuzzy. They are brands that we actually want to post about and it’s things we really believe in. More importantly, the really great brands see us as valuable resources and treat us accordingly!

I’m very thankful that my writing on my WordPress page has turned into something that can sustain me. Scribbling the most emotional things of all time in a journal has prepared me to make a living and change other’s days by sharing!

3. Heating pack (Just me?)

This one is a little materialistic, but I’d like to have a specific shoutout to heating pads. I’ve made a lot of purchases in quarantine – a lot. One of my favorites has been a heating pad that wraps all the way around my back. 

Have a stomach ache? Heating pad. Does your back feel like it’s cracking in half, like mine? Heating pad. Menstrual pain? Heating pad. We were given the magic bullet of pain relief and I’d just like to say that I’m thankful for that. 

4. Our Ability to Change

Listen, I’m not going to lie here, sometimes this is not so good. There are things in 2020 have have been handled terribly. It’s pretty cool, though, just how fast restaurants, hospitals, and other businesses were able to transition to life within a pandemic. 

These days, we have contactless delivery. Drive-up options at department stores as going to be utilized for those who need them even after the vaccine is administered. There are people who are going to be able to work from home forever, and live wherever they want, all while doing their dream job! One of my clients is a real estate agent. She shared with me that up to 23 million Americans are moving as a result of being able to do work from home! 

Call it what it is – this year was really shitty. In the midst of all that, it’s important to remember that even when the world did come to a screeching halt… it really didn’t. 

5. Our Health

I know that I’m one of the lucky ones that gets to say this. At this point, more than a quarter of a million lives have been taken because of COVID-19. So many people have lost loved ones and millions will have complications due to their battle with coronavirus for years to come. If there’s one thing that 2020 taught us to be thankful for it’s good health. 

When you wake up in the morning and can take a deep breath or you can get restful sleep, that’s something to be thankful for. We can think back to all the times that  we could be blissfully ignorant about the germs we picked up in public places because we didn’t have the constant reminder of a mask on our face. 2020 has taught us that being healthy is never something to take for granted as you never know when you won’t be!

6. Actual Self Care

I started off the year being able to put my problems on the backburner. When I got overwhelmed, I could go to the bars with my friends. When I felt inadequate, I could pick up some more shifts at work. In other words, it was a lot more convenient to deal with the easier stuff. 

2020 made us face the hard stuff head on. It forced us too. When I felt negative feelings, I couldn’t just run to the bar and forget all about it. It was much harder to separate those feelings from the realities of quarantine. 2020 made us value self care so much more. Now, we know that we can spend time alone – for months – and still prevail. We can be thankful to 2020 for helping us fall in love with alone time a little bit more again.

7. The Autonomy of Being Social

With that being said, it’s been a big lesson to us homebodies and introverts too. For the most part, I don’t feel a ton of FOMO about the bars. However, everything that has happened has made me thankful for plans that I can have, the people I am able to see, and the social time I have.

Am I crying every night in boredom? Honestly, no. This has finally validated my love for staying in and watching Netflix. It makes me thankful for the times when I have autonomy to make those decisions though

2020 Kind of Sucked

There are a lot of things to come out of this year, though, that remind us how resilient we are in the face of dark days. If anything, this year showed us just how good we are adjusting when we need to. It’s made us want to do better in 2021. Which we will.

What are your thoughts as we wrap up 2020? Connect with me on any of my socials below!

What I Learned As a Big Girl

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I’m at the point in my quarantine where I’m back to watching movies all day everyday. My list is pretty exhaustive, even if I’m rewatching some old favorites. One that I watched for the first time was “Dumplin”. Originally, I thought it was just about a chubby girl who wants to do pageants, but I was so wrong. It brought up a lot of trauma I didn’t know I had. Weirdly enough, it helped verbalize what I learned as a big girl.

It’s Not ALWAYS Like the Movies

Watching people scream “Fatass,” down the hall made my heart break for the girls in the movie, but it wasn’t something I could relate to. Sure, I had my fair share of venom spit at me, but I wasn’t innocent in the words I let fly. People said hateful things about my weight on anonymous forums like Ask.fm – a place that it was easy to be mean without owning up to your words. Every teen’s nightmare, if you ask me. Little did they know, though, the biggest bully about my weight was me. 

I looked in the mirror and silently repeated worse things than anyone could ever say. The names that I called myself were never actually verbalized. No one took my lunch money because I had thunder thighs. Nah, it’s not like the movies in that way.

 In the movies, it’s like the outward force is the only one that needs to be overcome. You have one Masquerade ball where the hot guy kisses the chubby girl and everyone suddenly thinks she’s also hot. What if that’s not everyone else you have to convince that you’re hot? What if it’s yourself?

The Scars Run Deep

As I literally sobbed at a Netflix movie, I realized that there was still a lot of damage from negative inner dialogue for so long. The scars that I gave myself trying to fit into an unrealistic mold ran much deeper than I thought. I’m heads and shoulders above where I was, but it takes a long time to unlearn that much hatred in your own skin, your muscles, and your being. 

It’s something that I have to bring up in new relationships. My need for validation isn’t because of something my partner is or is not doing. It really boils down to my disbelief that I deserve affection, attention, and love in this form. Like Dumplin said to the cute boy at work, I spent so long thinking “boys like you don’t end up with girls like me,” that it’s hard to unlearn that. 

Cute Boys Don’t Make You Feel Better

I used to think that if I could just get someone to dote over me, all body image issues would just melt away. I held onto a pretty toxic relationship for a long time because if you’re with someone you have to be kind of desirable, right? I’m aware of how humiliatingly desperate that sounds. When you’ve trained your brain that being wanted equates to being beautiful, you’ll take what you can get. 

That also translates to the dating apps. As much as you want them too, having 45 conversations going on Hinge isn’t going to make you feel less self conscious. I’ve learned that no matter how many people you have telling you that they want you or how many comments you get on your photo. Life starts to change when it’s you that’s telling yourself those things. 

It’s Not Forever

Like with everything in life, there are good days and bad days. There are days where you could not get me to wear anything besides a 3XL sweatshirt and leggings. Other days, I will wear a dress and put on lashes. You have to unlearn the habit of talking to yourself like you’re less than. 

I had to learn how to make myself feel good first. There’s songs that make me absolutely feel like a million bucks. I’ve bought lipstick just to treat myself. When all else fails, I remember what I would say to someone I loved going through the same thing. 

I would remind them that the number on the scale doesn’t dictate your worth in everyday life. The way that your arms look in a photo doesn’t mean that the love of your life will leave you. I would remind them (and me) that confidence in the face of vulnerability is the most beautiful thing in the world. We are beautiful today. We’d be beautiful 200 pounds heavier – even if it wasn’t very healthy. God damn it, we are worthy of loving our being – big girl, small girl, nonbinary pal, short guy, tall guy, or anyone in between. 

What I REALLY Learned as a Big Girl

I’m pretty damn special because I’m me. It’s irrelevant to my weight or the way that my stomach looks in a swimsuit. I learned some things about body image the hard way, but my favorite thing I’ve learned is that being me is better than anything else I could be. 

Social Media vs. Reality

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I use my Instagram account to post moments in my life that I want to share. The moments in between aren’t captured in that photo, video, or reel. Truthfully, though, those moments are what make up who I am, how I act, and the person that you see in the posts. I try to be as honest as possible on my social media feed. I’m pretty much willing to talk about anything and everything that’s plaguing my day to day life. One thing that I do want all my readers to know, though, is there’s a difference in my social media versus reality. No matter how hard I try, there’s going to be things that I might not find relevant for a whole post, but that happen to me at the same rate as any other 23 year old woman. 

I Have Dating Problems

I have chosen to put my whole life online. In doing so, I’ve shared stories about past relationships and things that are about as un-sexy as it comes. One thing that I needed to learn was that not everyone signed up for this life. I’ve had to be very cognizant to communicate first, analyze, and only share when I’ve actually gained something worth sharing. 

Anyone can pick up a laptop, open WordPress, and type all the grievances they have with their partner. Not only does that make for highly negative content, but it’s also not great for resolving any issues. So, though you might not see a bunch of content on it, I do have the dating problems like most 20-somethings have. 

I’m on the stupid dating apps. I get ghosted from time to time and take it way too personally. I have absolutely said, “I’ll probably end up alone,” in the last year even though I would smack any of my followers for saying the same. That’s what this blog is about. My mindset about life is not always perfect. The actions and words that I have in certain situations occasionally end up being mistakes. EmyDBlog, however, is a place of acceptance past all of the supporting moments in your life so that you can truly enjoy the IG-worthy ones!

I Worry About Money

I’ve absolutely talked about money problems on here, right? It’s definitely one of my biggest stressors in life. It’s not even because I constantly struggle – I just don’t feel like I have the best relationship with money. When I have a lot, I feel like I should be doing something to make more. When I don’t have much, I feel like a failure.

My parents are ready to transfer money to me when I need it after one single phone call, but part of me would rather sell my kidney. Why is that? I don’t post about money often because it gives me goosebumps and truthfully, I look to other people for guidance. 

If there’s one thing I know, it’s that I’m not an expert at finances, saving, or investing. For that kind of information, I go elsewhere. So, unless it could value my followers in a feeling of community, there’s no reason for me to spend time talking about a topic that stresses me out. Be warned, though, when I do finally understand how stocks work and I’m making hand over fist… it’s OVER for you guys.

I Have Mental Health Issues

This is something that I’ve posted a lot about. As a mental health blogger, I’ve been very open about the fact that I have bad days. My bad days are not only the ones that I post online, just like I have a lot of great moments that my iPhone can’t capture. 

Sometimes, my days might be a little too dark to sum up in an Instagram post. It’s not because I don’t want to share it – I feel that’s an important role that I’ve taken on. Nope, it’s because I haven’t always found the right words to wrap round it.

So, yes. I allow you into my struggle most of the time. One of my favorite quotes, though, is “just because I’m carrying it with ease doesn’t mean it isn’t heavy.” In other words, just because I’ve gotten used to sharing and being vulnerable doesn’t mean that it doesn’t still take courage and motivation every single time to get through. 

I Have Body Image Issues

My friends and family are quite literally saints. They’re willing to take one million photos of me just for me to say none of them are good enough. Usually, I hate the angle, the way my chin looks, or how my stomach looks just a little too big. As a body positivity blogger, this is problematic.

Every word I’ve said about loving your body is true. I have learned to stifle out the hatred for my body with love. It doesn’t, however, mean that I don’t have to constantly work at having a positive mindset. I have days where I change out of my dress to wear leggings instead. I have bad days just like any other human being! 

When you see the photos of me being a strong, confident queen, that’s the truth. But, you also need to realize that I have moments where I have to work on my inner dialogue and be nicer to myself that you don’t see on those tiny Instagram squares.

The Takeaway

Social media can be a beautiful thing. It can also be horrendously ugly. Each post is a snapshot of one moment, one event, one memory in time. It doesn’t include all the other tiny things leading up to that photo – both good and bad. 

The grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side. But, rather than obsessing over someone else’s grass… why don’t we try watering our own? Why don’t we start to love what we’re posting because it makes us FEEL good? What if we operated under the assumption that everyone’s social media is the highlight reel of their life because no one is going to include the embarrassing fumbles or screw ups in there. Even those of us who are willing to share some of the screw ups still can only share snapshots in time. I can’t share both sides, the whole thing, or every emotion even if I wanted to! Social media is not reality, my friends. Remember that. 

Baby Bell

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Getting pregnant with our son was one of the biggest surprises & greatest blessings of 2019. Bryan & I had just gotten engaged in March and three short months later, our sweet boy was on his way. I remember the day we found out I was pregnant I had an inkling that I was & decided to grab a test to take when I got home. The thing about me is, I cannot just patiently wait until the end of the day to find out about something or do something knowing in the back of my mind I know the answer. So I rushed back to work from my lunch break, took the test in the bathroom & BAM! Two VERY clear lines appeared and I immediately burst into tears. I ran back into the office, told my co-worker I was “sick” & needed to excuse myself for the rest of the day. I just could not contain myself.

I got home before my husband & decided to tell him in a cute way. On our back door a white board said “You + Me + Three”. Let me tell you the few hours I had to wait for him to come home were SO nerve-wracking. I remember hearing the garage door open & thinking to myself, “Okay, this is it!” He walked in, looked at me & said “So we’re pregnant?!” I instantly began crying and through the waterworks I mumbled, “You’re not mad??” He cracked the biggest smile and asked why he would ever be mad. I had no idea what his reaction would be, to be completely honest. We had just gotten engaged, I didn’t know if he wanted to get married first before having a family…but I was just so happy that I was carrying our angel & with the man of my dreams.

Waiting until the beginning of my second trimester to tell people was HARD! I so badly wanted everyone to know about our bundle of joy but, knowing the risks of miscarriage in the first trimester, I couldn’t put myself through announcing it too early God forbid anything were to happen. It felt like the first three months went on forever but once everyone knew we were expecting, the remaining two trimesters flew by.

Fast forward to the end of October – I’m almost 20 weeks pregnant & DYING to know the sex of our baby. From day one Bryan & I prayed for a little boy. We would be happy with either as long as they were healthy but, we really wanted a boy. We decided to have a gender reveal & my sister in law was the only one that knew. On October 26th, we had our family & friends over to the reveal. Bryan is into cars like no other so I thought it would be fun to incorporate his Camaro into the reveal. While we stood by, Bryans dad, Jeff did a burnout which would reveal either pink or blue smoke. The few moments prior were the most nervous and excited I think I had ever felt. Finally, BLUE SMOKE. IT WAS A BOY!

My pregnancy with our son was everything I could have hoped for. I had no morning sickness, no food aversions (Thank God), and was able to stay really active all through out. Every doctors appointment we went to he was perfect & growing more and more. The last few weeks I could really feel my body getting ready to prepare for his arrival but still stayed as positive as I could. His nursery was done, my mother hosted a beautiful baby shower for us & now we we’re just waiting on our sweet boy.

By 36 weeks, your OB will have you come in on a weekly basis to check to see how the baby is measuring and make sure there aren’t any complications. My mid-wife began noticing protein in my urine, and my blood pressure was creeping up. Because I didn’t have any severe swelling along with it, she wasn’t terribly worried. At my 39 week appointment, I vividly remember her coming into the room with a sad face on & I immediately said “You can’t walk in here with a sad face, what is going on?” She told me “It’s time to go to the hospital”. Instantly I began to cry uncontrollably and sweating profusely. This was NOT how I wanted things to happen! I wanted to go into labor on my own, hang out at home for as long as I could and then make our way to the hospital. God however had different plans.

To say I was freaked out is an absolute understatement. I had no idea what to expect and was so terrified of what was to come I couldn’t get myself to calm down. My mid-wife, God bless her, was so supportive of my birth plan and told me she truly thought I would go in to labor on my own. I was admitted to the hospital on March 16th, and after a very restless night, she came to break my water at 8:30 AM, March 17th. I was so scared but so ready to meet our son. She quickly broke my water and I thought, man, that was nothing! It just felt like a water balloon had broken between my legs. The thing about having babies is, everyone is different. Not one of us will have the same experience so I tried to not think about the pain or what would happen, I just wanted to deliver our son safely & he be healthy. Soon after, I went from 3CM to 10 in a matter of two hours. I had ZERO transitional labor like most women have. My contractions were so intense I kept yelling at my L&D nurses that I couldn’t do it. Tammy, one of my nurses, laughed & said “Well, you’re already doing it girl”. She was amazing. She rubbed my back and showed Bryan how to help me through each contraction. I had opted out of pain medication…something about a giant needle getting shoved into my back scared the hell out of me and for years I had always imagined I would deliver my baby naturally. I was so serious about it that I didn’t even sign the epidural waiver. Our bodies were made to do this & I knew I could push through the pain.

At 12 PM, my mid-wife returned to check my progress and before I knew it, it was time to push! Honestly, it was the greatest feeling in the world which might sound crazy but I felt relief breathing him down and out of my body. I used a bar across the bed to keep me upright and that helped immensely. 12:27 PM, March 17th, 2020, our son, Carter Jeffrey Bell was born. 7 pounds, 1 ounce & 19 inches of pure perfection.

What I read from other women who had given birth was, as soon as that baby is on your chest, all the pain you just went through is gone. They couldn’t have been more right. As soon as he arrived, everything I had just experienced was gone- I was on a high that I couldn’t even explain. Our son was finally here and our parenting journey began.

Our sweet boy is almost 7 months old as I’m writing this & I cry looking back at these photos because it feels like it was just yesterday we found out we we’re pregnant. Now, I’m planning his 1st birthday (insert crying face here). I couldn’t imagine my life without Carter, or my husband and am so grateful that he chose me to be his mama.

5 Tips to Help Seasonal Allergies

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Seasonal allergies have got me absolutely miserable some days. I’m not sure if it’s some sick joke, but on the days I need to be the most focused my allergies seem the worst. I didn’t start dealing with allergies until my late teens, so learning to deal with them has been a process. Unlike kids with a lot of allergies already, I wasn’t used to keeping Claritin or Benadryl around at all times. However, I’ve done some research, suffering, and thriving through allergy season that gives me 5 tips to help seasonal allergies.

Nasal Spray

I’m not a huge fan of things up my nose, but nasal sprays have done me well in allergy season. Any brand of saline nasal spray will work, but I typically reach for Flonase. I have to blow my nose all the time, so any sort of relief is appreciated. 

In this time, we’re wearing masks which seems to make the sniffling even worse. I’ve found that using a nasal spray has been a cleaner way to subside the sniffles and sneezing for an extended period of time.

Definitely follow the directions on the box, though! Every nasal spray has a maximum amount of times you’re supposed to use the product per day. OVeruse may have an opposite effect on your already allergy-ridden nose.

Hot Showers

Hot showers are a year-round thing for me, but they’ve been Heaven-sent for me during allergy season. I had bronchitis a couple of years back which seems to stick with you whenever you have respiratory issues.

Adding some hot water vapor into your life can soothe your airways and it can also relax the muscles that tend to tense up in allergy season. It’s a cheap way of getting the effects of a humidifier without the actual machine & very quickly!

Putting eucalyptus in your shower is also insanely helpful. You can buy it at Trader Joe’s or other grocery stores. Once you set the fresh plant in your shower, it will release essential oils to help you out!

Essential Oils

I’m not overly knowledgeable about essential oils. A simple Google or Pinterest search would answer a lot of the questions on why these things work. I just know that they really do work for me, especially when I don’t want to load up my body with allergy medication. As I said before, I’ve used eucalyptus in it’s all natural form. I’ve only really worked with a couple forms of essential oils, but they can be purchased through actual dealers or online!

My allergies cause me to get tension headaches with which I don’t want to take medication on top of my allergy pills. I’ve chosen to reach for rollersticks that contain peppermint. Again, I’m not sure why this voodoo magic works…but it does. It relieves a ton of tension in my head and neck! I have this one, if you’re looking!

Sometimes, I have trouble getting to sleep as well. I use lavender spray for my pillows along with melatonin to get as much sleep as possible! Allergies can keep you up and definitely make you toss around. This way, I feel as comfortable as possible in bed in a natural way. I tried it for the first time with the Bath and Body Works brand, but there are cheaper options that are a little more Apothecary-like (this one). 

Heating Pad

I actually discovered my undenying need for a heating pad accidentally. My lower back was killing me. I bought a heating pad thinking that I’d use it until it felt better and then it would collect dust. NOPE.

Similar to the hot shower thing, keeping that heat on my back or chest while I sleep has been hugely helpful in easing muscle tension. When I sneeze it doesn’t feel like all my bones are about to break (as much). Plus, it’s super comforting! For single queens like me, it’s nice to have a little warmth in your bed!

I picked mine up at Target! It’s in the size XXL so I can move around and even wrap around my shoulder or my hip if I need to! However, I just found one from Sunbeam on Amazon that’s the exact same size and cheaper. If I can’t get the savings, you guys should!

Medicine

Since most of these are pretty natural ways of combating seasonal allergies, I also want to include my daily go-to. Allergy medication has pretty much saved my life for a couple years. I personally take Benadryl, Claritin, or an off-brand non-drowsy! 

As I’ve said before on EmyD, I’m not against taking medication when it’s necessary. However, it’s not something I would love to do if there’s other options. There are certain days I wake up feeling like someone is holding my nose. I start those days out with coffee and Claritin.

Even though you can pick up allergy medication just about anywhere, it doesn’t mean that it will affect everyone the same way. Benadryl still makes me unreasonably sleepy when I take it. In fact, I’m so tired I probably shouldn’t be operating machinery. When I first started taking allergy medication, I found that having any residual caffeine in my body along with the pill would make me feel intoxicated. Weird, right? 

Like every other medication, be safe about your use with it! Talk to your doctor if you have concerns when it comes to other medications or your lifestyle! They may even be able to give you something that’s prescription and personalized for you! 

The Allergy Takeaway

Allergies totally suck. There’s no ifs, ands, or buts about that. Fall is too pretty to spend it absolutely miserable though! You deserve to get out to the pumpkin patch, go one walks, and have your windows open without feeling like you’re going to sneeze out the contents of your brain. 

Like I said, fall is way too cute to miss out on! Check out our balcony!

This year is even more tricky! We’re trying especially hard not to get sick. On the bright side, though, everyone is being more cognizant of washing their hands! That means tracking a lot of the things we’re allergic to from outside to inside might be lowered. 

If you’re feeling totally exhausted from allergies, I feel you. I hope that you find relief in any of these five tips to help with seasonal allergies. If not, I hope that you find your own way to work through them. (And then share it with me!) We’re in this together!

Do have allergies? Tell me your tips and tricks through my socials below!

The Biggest Mistake A Budding Influencer Can Make

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It doesn’t take a magic spell to become an influencer. We’ve all been at that moment where we’re questioning whether we’re hot enough, successful enough, and talented enough to become one. The answer is if you’re dedicated to having a following and providing value to it, you will become one. I’ve seen a lot of stuff and guided some people through some online mistakes. However, I’ve narrowed down one biggest mistake a budding influencer can make.

Influencers are All Different

I work with a lot of different types of influencers. I work with women who are younger than me and working on brand deals. Each day I text moms that are just kind of breaking into the space. I have two clients that have written successful books you can find on Amazon!! Crazy. 

No one follower in your audience is the same. Sure, they might share interests. Like you and I, however, they all have different experiences and lives that make them really relate to different stories. Where one follower might go nuts with GRWM (Get Ready With Me) video from one influencer, makeup might truly not be her thing at all.

The need for influencers of different age ranges, sexual orientations, career paths, interests, ethnicities, and just general focuses is SO important. It’s what Instagram pictures are different when you’re scrolling through. It is also what provides valuable information to EVERYONE on the platform, rather than just Gen Z users.

The Big Whammy

If there’s one nugget of free PR advice you take from me when it comes to Instagram, it’s do NOT participate in buying followers. Buying bots to act as place holders for real people on your page does nothing for your journey to making money on IG. Sure, that number looks really pretty but it essentially means nothing. 

Companies can tell the quality of your interactions and your followers. When they see that you have 35 followers with a different variation of “@Sarah123456” you don’t look like a credible person to partner with. Also, you don’t really have a “following” to promote their product to as they’re not looking to market to bots. 

Engagement Rate

I’ve come across accounts that have hundreds of thousands of followers that get 1,000 likes on a photo. That’s a problem. That means that the quality of your following is low. Even if they are real people, they’re not actively participating in the content that you’re posting. Again, that’s a red flag that you couldn’t sell a product for a company aka no brand deals!

My clients at EmyD Media and I are ALWAYS working toward the golden 20% engagement ratio. It’s absolutely not easy and requires time, patience, and good content. Even with an amazing engagement rate, brand deals are not a given! For more information about where your engagement rate can use some tweaking, contact me through the “Work with Me” tab!

Bonus Advice

Just because I like you guys so much, I’ll even give you a little more information. Stop participating in those buy-in follow giveaways. It’s a waste of money to watch your engagement rate absolutely TANK.

If you want to do a giveaway where you’re spending money, buy the product/giftcard/etc yourself as an investment that you would have spent into the buy-in. Make yourself the ONLY person that you have to follow in this transaction. No user wants to follow 15 other accounts for a chance to win a gift card. Also, odds of all those people interacting with you after the giveaway is over is small – again, tanking your engagement rate.

Unless you’re consistently doing little giveaways, they are just another way of buying followers. Your content should be what attracts people to your page, not your money! Believe me, there’s influencers making a LOT of money who aren’t paying their followers a cent of it monetarily. They give back in more quality content, better equipment, and more opportunities to connect!

Was this helpful to you? Get in touch with me through any of my socials below!

Being Proud of Your Decisions

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Today, I listened as my brother stood his ground about a decision that was really hard for him to make. Like many other eighteen year olds, his first year of college was not what he planned on or dreamed about for years. Thus, like many others, he decided to defer for a semester – to work, save, and learn how to be an adult while the pandemic has it’s way with the world. Unfortunately, he was made to feel bad about his decision. He stood his ground and confidently listed the reasons why staying home felt the best for him right now. Truthfully, he grew up right in front of my eyes right then and he taught me a little something about being proud of your decisions.

Queen Indecisive

Nothing is promised to you in this life. There’s nothing that we’ve learned more clearly in a global pandemic than that lesson. Honestly, it makes being indecisive a little easier when you feel like a lot is riding on virtually every decision that you make. I mean, sure it might just be what we’re having for dinner but what if the love of my life is at the OTHER place. Yes, that’s dramatic; however, you get the point.

For a majority of my life, I’ve absolutely not been good at making decisions. I really dislike disappointing people and I don’t want to be the one to blame if things go wrong. I eventually learned that it’s a little thing called Social Anxiety that inhibits making decisions that involve others. As my mental health got worse, I was indecisive because I didn’t want the attention to be on me. It was the perfect storm.

There comes a time, though, that you have to start making decisions. If not for everyone in the room, at least for yourself. You can make them and think about all the things that could have been. Or, you can make them and be content in the decision that you made. 

What Could Have Been

I’m sure we all have a moment in our life that we would take back if we could. I’ve absolutely said things that should never have come out of my mouth. I have also dated men that were just plain old bad to me. I’ve gone back to men that were bad to me.

Honestly, a lot of the poor decisions that we make come from a lack of confidence in our own decision making ability. We seem to second guess ourselves and think of all the things that “should’ve, would’ve, or could’ve” happened. Things definitely would have turned out differently, but better? Nobody will ever know. Nothing is promised in this life. Spending your time wishing you’d gone with another decision rather than leaning into the one you’ve already made seems like a BIG waste of time. 

Mistake Versus Decision

I made the conscious decision to go back to men that were not treating me very nicely. Even when I talk about it now, I don’t think that I’d change it. Some part of me needed to learn what I was worth through heartbreak and a bunch of tears. Saying something that you don’t mean, however, is a mistake. Like, decision-making, it’s important to come to terms with your mistakes, take responsibility, and move the eff on! There’s nothing worse, however, than someone standing by a mistake as if it was a decision they consciously made. 

For example, if you’re wrong about information you said and a friend calls you out on it. Unless you preemptively planned on spreading false information, it was a mistake. You don’t have to stand your ground to be right when you make a mistake. All the cool kids are saying sorry about behavior, thoughts, and actions that aren’t right these days – get with it!

Being Proud of Your Decisions

I watched Sullivan tell a person of authority from his school his truth. He was proud of his decision to take a beat. He knows that though it’s not right for everyone, it’s what’s right for him. Making decisions that are best for you, your mental health, finances, or just your happiness feels good! You are allowed to feel good. 

It can be as simple as, “I don’t want to do that.” Decisions don’t have to be made resentfully or in haste. Giving yourself power and autonomy in sticking to them can greatly increase your quality of life – not to mention the quality of those you surround yourself with! So, what’s are YOU deciding for YOU today?

Tell me about something you’ve done for you lately in the socials below!