There’s Too Much On My Plate!

A Helping of Work

This weekend was one of the busiest in a while. For my business, the couple days surrounding the end and the beginning of each month are absolutely insane. It’s about getting insights done, contracts written for the upcoming month, and being diligent about the Public Relations changes that we’ve made throughout the month. The transition from September to October of this year was one of the busiest for my business. For that, I am unbelievably blessed. However, I’m also taking on challenges like I don’t have the clientele and following that I do. Sometimes I need to slow down!

Slowing down, however, means pumping the brakes on something that I’ve been working on for so many months now. It also means finding priorities in my days. Some things have to wait until tomorrow. Other things, like the needs of my clients, need to be done quickly and successfully. Yes, it’s a lot. However, it’s something that I’ve been working on for so long. I’m blessed to be busy with my work. Rather than thinking, “Ugh, I wish I wasn’t so busy,” I am going to reframe it as “I’m blessed to call what I love work & if I wasn’t supposed to be doing this, I wouldn’t be.”

A Helping of Birthday

This weekend was my beautiful roommate, Shelby’s, birthday! We celebrated her on Friday with a small group of friends at our house. The pandemic always adds a layer of stress to things that would otherwise go off without a second thought. This year, we hosted the event at our apartment, since we’re not going to go to bars! I’ll say it – I’m an AWESOME hostess. I was happy to put out food, grab a little cake, and clean the house.

It was an amazing day to celebrate a great friend! Entertaining is always high maintenance, but even more so in a pandemic. I wanted to make sure that all of our surfaces were not only clean, but completely disinfected. It was important that everyone had somewhere to sit. By no means was this party imperative, however, my friends mean the world to me. If we can have a night of normalcy to celebrate our girl, that’s a priority to me! I was happy to take it on my plate. So, instead of “I have to clean the house,” it was “I get to see my friends.”

A Helping of Marriage

I had the absolute honor of photographing the wedding of some of my favorite clients. Photography has absolutely taken the back burner to the other aspects of EmyD. I’ve had amazing success with EmyD Photography, but it’s not what I want to do as my full-time job. However, having big shoots like this always lights a fire under my butt to get more creative and inspired with my content.

Someone’s wedding day is the Big Kahuna of photography. As much as I love senior shots, you can always get another beautiful day to retake if necessary. You can’t redo the elements of a wedding that the couple wants to capture forever. There’s moments like the first look, the kiss, and the dances that are so “in the moment” that they become high pressure.

Maybe the reason that I don’t want to be a full-time photographer is because I’m so tense and perfectionistic when it comes to my work. I’ve had lists and Pinterest boards preparing for this wedding for weeks. Emily, the bride, is also a planner which made me feel a little more sane. She was so organized and amazing. Honestly, her preparedness calmed everyone around her down, but I like to walk into my shoots with that same level of confidence and organization! Though it was a mentally exhausting day, it was amazing. I’m so happy to have been a part of it. So, instead of “I have to prepare for this long day of shooting,” it became, “I am blessed to get paid for doing things that make me feel creative, inspired, and motivated.”

Reframing a Full Plate

Yes, I put a lot on my plate. I always have and truthfully, I don’t see that changing any time soon. The way that I look at it, there’s a couple ways to go about being busy in life. You can be resentful that your life is busy or that you didn’t have to get up to go to meetings with clients. You can wish that you didn’t have to post consistently, but that would mean that your following would decrease.

Or, you can do what I do. I choose to run with it. There are some days where I absolutely just need like 12 hours of sleep which came to me at 8:30pm this Saturday night. However, I wouldn’t trade being busy for being bored. If I didn’t feel pressure to post, it would mean that I was still hustling for a following. If I didn’t feel like I had to prepare content, it would mean that I wasn’t signing clients. photoshoots like weddings are a lot to prepare for, but without them I wouldn’t be able to get creative for a job!

Sometimes, I have to ask for help in carrying my plate. I’ve asked Sullivan to help me at shoots. There’s been moments when my lovely clients are patient with me so that they get the best product. But agreeing to the things that you want to do, loading only what you want onto your agenda, and being your true self will make being busy so much more enjoyable. Yes, there’s too much on my plate… but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

What have you been really busy with? Let me know in my socials below!

Having the PR Perfect Instagram

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A Public Relations degree has always been my safety net. Pretty much every field needs a Public Relations professional doing work as they reach a certain level of business. God knows that if something goes wrong, you absolutely need someone in PR to help sort out the chaos. Basically, my degree in PR was job security in something that I was decently good at. I’ve also gotten really good having the PR Perfect Instagram.

Did I think that I would be doing freelance PR at 23 years old? No, not really. In a global pandemic, we’ve all had to get a little creative in how we’re earning our money, how we’re planning on doing so in the future, and how we’re keeping ourselves sane. For our essential workers, that means leaving the house everyday. Teachers have to completely change how they connect with children and focus on the best ways to do so through a computer. For those of us in the internet sphere, it meant a lot more people and businesses entering the game.

Listen, that’s not always a bad thing. From a PR perspective, quantity means more potential clients to hire me. However, also from the PR perspective, I only keep those clients if they see big, noticeable changes – which is hard in a super competitive space!

As part of my consultation process, I offer an Instagram Profile Audit. This process basically takes a look at one’s profile through the lens of Public Relations. It asks the questions that businesses ask before they approach influencers for brand deals such as follower count, engagement levels, demographics, insights, active audience, and such. Follower count is something that anyone can see from just looking at your profile, right? Easy. But, if a company were to glance through your Instagram right now, would they see that you’re taking advantage of all the tools IG has to offer?

Having the PR Perfect IG

Obviously, I go in-depth with each of these in an actual consultation. My clients and I go over how just one word in your bio can change your look completely to a company! These three things, however, are something that I’m constantly touching on in my consults with influencers. They are something that I always ask them to think about and consider changing.

The PR Perfect Bio

I don’t want to put a lot of pressure on you, but writing a bio is extremely important when it comes to brand management and follower growth. A mentor of mine, Abby Helfer, once told me about my own Instagram that it’s like a boutique window. It shows us the pretty things to expect before we venture into the store (or our profile).

Working with a PR Strategist to get this worded right can be game changing for your business. Like I said before, a simple change from the label “blogger” to “content creator” can be insanely effective. My biggest thing about bios is using the link that Instagram provides. My Instagram has links to my most recent blog post as that’s what I would like to direct traffic to. If you’re wanting to direct followers to a website, put it there. You can absolutely put a streaming channel like Twitch or Youtube in your bio. If you want people to click on a GoFundMe for Black Lives Matter (another one of my recent links), PUT IT THERE.

However, don’t have it be a floating link. By that, I mean, that it’s an influencer’s job to explain why a click on that link is necessary. What value would that link give me as a follower?

The PR Perfect Highlight

If the bio is the boutique window, the highlights are the the first things you see when you walk into the store. They are the new releases, stuff on sale, and just beautiful ads that keeps everyone walking deeper into the store.

Obviously, the way that you organize your Instagram highlights are up to personal preference. In terms of the best look for a brand, you want it to match the aesthetic of your profile. If you have photos with bright colors, highlights with those chromatics might be a good addition. If you post a lot of greens and landscapes in your photos, it might be worth your time to look for covers that match. Good old Pinterest has a ton of highlight covers that can be downloaded and used to your heart’s content.

At the end of the day, make sure that your highlights represent what you’ll find within your profile. They’re called highlights to be the absolute best moments from your story! Cohesive and clean are always best, but make sure that they’re representing you, your brand, and your product!

The PR Perfect Profile

Instagram allows us 30 hashtags per post. That’s 30 chances for people to find your content in a place where thousands of posts are going up every second. There is a debate amongst digital media experts about just how many hashtags you should be using in each post. Some say that you shouldn’t clutter your post – saying that 15 is enough. I, however, am part of the team that says that you should use all the tools that you’re given. If there’s an opportunity to use a hashtag, I say take it. You can see that in pretty much all of my IG posts.

If I’m the first person to tell you that you should be using a call to action in your captions, I’m so sorry for the PR injustice you’ve been put through. All of your captions should call your audience to action in some way. It could be urging them to comment on the post (increase that engagement!), encouraging them to go to another page, or providing them with codes to buy your product or service!

Public relations that are more specific to and your profile are available with a FREE Instagram audit. Head over to the “Work With Me” tab to book yours!

Invest in Yourself and Invest in Your PR

Like every other business, you need to invest money to get it off the ground. For example, if you want to have a really successful blog, you will have to buy a domain or maybe invest in some writing courses!

Public relations and marketing online is absolutely worthy of your time and money investment. The best profiles have their target audience, collaborations, and business goals in mind when designing each part. Doing freelance PR has made me realize just how effective little tweaks in your profile can be. Your bio, highlights, and profile on Instagram are your first step in making more money online and connecting to your target audience!

Do you have questions about how your profile looks in terms of PR? Contact me on any of my socials below!

Fall Fashion Essentials

September 22, 2020October 2, 2020Leave a comment

It’s Fall y’all! My favorite season is finally upon us & I am officially transitioning my wardrobe! Is it just me or does everyone do a deep clean out of their closet every time a new season rolls in? No? Just me? Purging and re-organizing my clothes, shoes & accessories at least two times a year really helps get rid of pieces I no longer wear. For some reason, I tend to hold on to items that I keep telling myself I’ll wear in the near future, but never do. Why is it so hard to let go sometimes? Might be the Type A personality in me. Although it may take a while to part ways, once my closet is refreshed & clean, it is such a satisfying feeling knowing I’ve crossed off a major project on my to-do list!

Like many, I am always on the hunt for trendy yet affordable pieces to add to my collection because I believe you can look like a million dollars without having to spend it! Don’t get me wrong, I’ll splurge on a new bag or pair of boots every once in a while but, finding boutiques & brands that offer quality pieces at affordable prices is what I am all about!

To make sure I am always saving the most amount of money on my purchases, I use Honey! It is an extension added to Google Chrome that works in the background as you shop to search for any coupon codes that may apply to your purchase! It’s so easy! All you have to do is sign up with your email, add the extension, & that’s it! Honey does the rest for you! All the pesky searches for coupon codes that may not even work are gone. The greatest part about Honey is you can create Wishlist’s of item’s you have your eye on and be notified when those items go on sale! They work with over 28,000 different stores & have saved clients millions of dollars since their launch. How amazing is that?

If you haven’t already caught on, I am a sweater FANATIC. There are so many different ways you can style a sweater with knee high boots, a cute skirt, or even a great hat! A lot of the pieces I’ve picked can be transitional from late Summer into Fall since the fabric is lightweight but extra cozy. Currently, a favorite online boutique of mine is Pink Lily. I was feeding our son one late night & happened to stumble across their page and it was GAME OVER for me. Since then I’ve made so many purchases from them & will always recommend their brand to anyone I know. They are constantly coming out with new collections, have great discounts & even do fun giveaways! Check out a few of my favorite Pink Lily pieces below! Tell me what your favorite go-to Fall outfit is!

https://www.instagram.com/p/CFFTkAJACtp/

https://www.instagram.com/p/CEUd8WIA8PN/

https://www.instagram.com/p/CD10vzaAs5P/

Thanks so much for stopping by!

SRB

Having a Type A Personality in a Pandemic

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I would love to sit here and tell you that I’m a Type B personality. I would love to embody those characteristics. For a while, I even had myself convinced that I already did. I might have some in the bag, though. As I sit here and write a blog on a website that I built from scratch, I’d like to believe I’ve got a little bit of creativity in my blood. I am also queen of the “Tendency to Procrastinate” category. College for me was a bunch of nights doing papers in 6 hours that were assigned 3 months prior. But, alas, I am a Type A personality. Let me just say it: It’s difficult having a Type A personality in a pandemic.

After having a pretty rough week, I wanted to be a little more analytical about my personality, routine, and mindset within this weird time. Why are there certain moments that rub me the wrong way while others I can digest being in a pandemic perfectly fine?

Type A Personalities have a tendency to multitask

I don’t fit the mold of a “typical blogger” and I’ve accepted that. Part of the reason I got my Mac was so that I could answer a bunch of emails/texts while I was writing. The amount of tabs open on my computer at a given time are enough to make anyone go crazy. But, it’s always been the kind of worker I am!

In a pandemic, it gets a little overwhelming. There’s so many things I can be doing for my budding business that the piles on my plate seem a little too big sometimes. Unlike with school, I don’t necessarily have deadlines pushing me to finish or grades to guarantee a good product. All of that motivation has to come from within.

As most of you probably know, juggling eight balls is much more difficult than throwing one ball up to catch it again. When you have a lot going on your form can get sloppy and you might even drop something. In reality, multitasking doesn’t really work… for the best work. Yet, those of us who HAVE TO juggle a lot of things at once still do it. We learn how to juggle them all best and hopefully, we learn when to say no to adding more to the mix.

Type A Personalities tend to be competitive

I’ll say it. I am ridiculously competitive. You challenge me in a board game and my trash talk might scar you for a while. I know, I know, positivity blogger. Seriously though, I’ve had a need to be the best since I was a kid. I don’t even think it’s necessarily because I like people to know that about me. Maybe I just want to know it about myself.

Type A competitiveness at WERK at a show choir competition in high school.

As I’m writing this, I’m realizing that it could be an ongoing battle with my own self image. Being competitive and therefore good at most things gives me the ego boost that I need sometimes. Being competitive as an adult is not cute, for lack of a better term. In the pandemic, it manifests itself in comparison with others – other bloggers, writers, and businesswomen.

Truthfully, blogging is such a warm and accepting community. Those within the field want others to succeed too. So, when you have a competitive personality, you put pressure on yourself to be better, do better, and write better that does not need to happen. It’s a lot.

Type A Personalities are very organized

My patron saint is St. Organization. Color-coding got me through a double major program in the same amount of time I should have gotten only one degree. Now, having two planners, many lists, and ongoing Post-Its are what allow me to get through the day without pulling all my hair out.

Check out my organization blog for actual tips!

It might be a little much to the outsider, but having this level of organization allows me to have control in my life that has a LOT going on. (See multitasking above.) There’s not a ton of certainty in a pandemic which means not a lot of things that can be organized.

You almost don’t want to plan for the future in fear that the world comes to a grinding halt again. One day, in March, I was managing in the morning and laid off by night. For Type A-ers like me, the inability to make future, set-in-stone plans really inhibits our organization skills. All in all, pandemics are not great for this girl’s need to plan out her life.

Type A Personalities spend much of their time focused on work

I’m proud to say that Type A personalities are goal-oriented. That’s a characteristic about myself that I absolutely love. When you’re worried about getting sick or those around you making poor choices, your options are limited to staying in your house. Staying in your house means that your list of possible activities are also very limited.

During COVID, I’ve turned a lot to screens. All of my work can be done from my phone or laptop. Thus, I almost feel guilty when I’m NOT working because it’s so easily accessible within the pandemic. What I’ve had to realize, though, is that even though my job is available to me at all times on the computer… I don’t need to be working at all times to be considered successful.

I have big goals when it comes to the blog, the podcast, and the PR business but spending too much time focused on work just promises to burn me out faster. In a pandemic, you have to be dedicated to scheduling yourself breaks. You have to make sure that you’re not spending all of your time sleeping, working, eating, or bingeing Criminal Minds on Netflix (it can’t be just me). Even though it’s within my personality to dive headfirst into my work while I have the capabilities and the time, it’s been a struggle to set limits for myself when the goals seem right there.

Type A all Day

There was a time that I didn’t like who I was. I spent a long time learning to love my personality, mannerisms, and characteristics as they were the things that piled up to form me. Realizing where you might be struggling, however, is an emotionally intelligent thing to do at any stage of your life.

Personally, there are personality traits that lead me to go a little crazy within the bounds of the pandemic. Some days, I have to actively remind myself that multitasking can be overwhelming. There’s moments where I have to be okay with going with the flow unlike ever before. Lastly, I have to remind myself that it’s okay to take breaks and reward yourself even when your goals are huge.

Whether you have these traits or not, this time has been completely weird for all of us. Understand that you’re not alone if you’re feeling a little goofy, off, or just plain stressed. As we learn to live in a time that we never thought we would have to, we are all getting through it. One day at a time.

How are you holding up during these times? Hit me up on social media and tell me your story!

New Mama, New Blogger, New ME!

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Hi, I’m so happy you’re here. My name is Sarah Bell & I am very new to the blog life so thank you for your love & patience as I get my feet wet.

A little about me – I’m 29 (almost), married to my best friend, Bryan & we had our beautiful son, Carter in March of this year! I’m sure most of you, if not all of you can agree that 2020 has been a whirlwind to say the least. I could go on for days about everything that’s happened to us over the last 9 months but I thought instead, I’d share some positive pieces with you. Thanks to COVID-19, I was laid off in August. Up until now, I have always had a full time job & even when I was pregnant with our son, I told myself I always wanted to have a career AND be a mom. My view point on that quickly changed when I was home with CJ & got to see him roll over for the first time! I immediately burst into tears thinking, OMG, what if I was at work when this happened & I only got to watch it through a video? I know most families don’t have this luxury, so I truly feel blessed to be able to experience being a SAHM, even if it’s only for a little while.

In just a few short weeks, we are moving to our new home & I could not be more excited. My focus for this blog is going to be affordable home décor finds, fashion for every season & A LOT of mama/baby moments. Currently our townhome is an absolute wreck, & that does not vibe well with my OCD tendencies so you can imagine how ready I am for this move to be over & we are all settled.

When I first came up with Being the Bells, I was working full time at an investment firm & didn’t have the opportunity to put the time or energy into it the way I wanted to. Soon it was on the back burner just like every other dream I’d had & quickly disappeared into thin air. Once I was laid off I took a good hard look at what I REALLY wanted to do with my life. What was going to make ME happy? It’s never been just about the money for me. I’ve always wanted to find a career path that I would love & could be profitable from. I knew if I was going to do this again, I needed to really dedicate myself to it & did just that.

This quote really says it all… taking my doubt & fear of failure and turning that into my motivation & determination to be successful in this line of work. Don’t get me wrong, I still have a long way to go & a whole lot of work to do but, I have met some of the SWEETEST women re-starting this journey & they have given me all the confidence in the world to push through and succeed.

Being the Bells is me. It’s my husband. It’s my son. It’s my passion. Anyone with a dream…chase after it. Don’t stop until you’re so in love with your life that everything leading up to that moment was worth the struggle. Everyday I’m at this I hope to learn & grow with each and every one of you. We may not be able to change the last 9 months of this year, but we can certainly go out with a BANG to end it. Thank you all so much for checking me out, I really look forward to sharing more with you!

Stay tuned & God Bless

About Alexis Nevers Ray

September 11, 2020September 11, 2020Leave a comment

Anyone else hate writing about yourself? Yup, me too, hence why I’ve always backed out on starting my own blog. So, when Emy reached out for me to be a resident blogger on her blog, I felt like that was the world telling me I couldn’t say no any longer.

Well I’m here, so lets get into it. I’m a 28 year old Indiana native who moved to Texas 6 years ago for my first real big girl job out of college. I’m a proud dog mom to 2 Boston terriers and I also have a husband.

Because of my background in fashion, I decided to finally take the leap in switching my instagram account into a creator account. Similar to the me ‘wanting to start a blog’ situation, I was also too scared to switch my account. For as long as I can remember my girlfriends always wanted me to help do their hair and makeup as well as borrow my clothes.

I’m a sucker for a good deal, I love trying out new beauty products and like my bio says I’m trying to live that Gucci lifestyle on a target budget. Welcome to the blog if you’re new here and if you’re not, welcome to my perspective.

https://www.instagram.com/alex_is_never/

https://pin.it/6s6eGG7

https://www.liketoknow.it/alex_is_never

Instead I Live on National Suicide Prevention Day

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I know that National Suicide Prevention Day isn’t a national holiday. It’s a day dedicated to the prevention of suicides around the world celebrated on the 10th of September each year. Does the general public know of this day? Absolutely not. To be honest with you, I didn’t even know the exact date until I was approached by a mental health organization on IG. So, as a mental health advocate and blog owner, I didn’t know the day of the year that we show our commitment to preventing suicides for the entire year. Something is wrong with that. So, today, I chose to write about my experience, my story, and my commitment to preventing suicide 365 days a year. *TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide, suicidal thoughts, depression*

I would never have classified myself as someone that was suicidal. Even now, despite sharing a bunch of vulnerable stories online, I’m hesitant to put that out there. Suicide feels too dark and real to put online sometimes. But, like everything I put online, I share because it might make someone else feel a sense of community, belonging, and comfort.

My Story

In my file, you’d find a note from my high school years that reads something like “Displays Suicidal Tendencies.” The things I said were in line with someone who didn’t care whether they were on this earth or not. Goals that I had for the future were nowhere to be found – partially because I couldn’t imagine a future.

My experience with suicidal thoughts or how to combat them is different than others. It’s not the same as what you see in the movies or even on those videos that they show you in health class. For me, everything just kind of was numb. I didn’t care about grades, friends, or anything that had given me joy. All I had the energy to do was sleep & sleeping forever seemed like a pretty good solution to these problems.

My story as you’ll find, is not a one size fit all. Some people have trauma that pushes them into depression and suicidal tendencies. Some have depression in their biology that deals them a rough hand of cards from the start. After that, problem solving feels harder and harder every time. There’s some like me, who have an amazing life, an amazing family, and essentially all the right tools to make it, yet still fall into the trap of having dark thoughts. Some people fit none of those descriptions.

The Realities of Suicide Prevention

Understanding suicide and treating it as a reality in our world is always the first step to combatting it. First, let’s just get this out there: suicide exists. Unlike popular opinion, it’s not just 20-somethings who have been mentally disturbed their whole life. In fact, the highest demographic affected by suicide is middle aged white men, according to the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention. It’s K-12 students who’ve been bullied, gone through trauma, or just dealt with undiagnosed mental illness. Our elderly population is not immune either. Though we have a schema for suicide, understanding that prevention goes far beyond a classroom or social media screen is extremely important.

I’m not a doctor, a therapist, or even a volunteer for a mental health organization. The credibility I speak from is having gone through my own issues. Thus, I can’t sit here and say all the ways you can combat suicidal thoughts and tendencies. I can, however, talk about how I learned to live when all I wanted to do was die.

MY Suicide Prevention

I was talking very openly about death (a huge warning sign – follow this link for more info) even if I hadn’t begun to develop a plan. It was clear to those that loved me the most that I cared very little about things that happened in my life – good or bad. In fact, I was ready to disconnect from anything that made me feel committed. Speaking very candidly here, I started to imagine what other’s lives would be like without mine. Would they be better off? My anxieties pushed me to think so, but something about that felt wrong. I couldn’t imagine my baby brother talking about the sister he “used” to have. No matter how irritable, angry, or just confusing I had been I was still his big sister.

I Started Talking

Thank you to HeartSupport for this graphic and the #InsteadILive campaign that inspired this blog!

The first time I said “I’m not okay” outloud was really difficult. I had been getting through the day, going through the motions, and crashing into rock bottom as time went on. When I finally let those words out of my body, it felt like a tidal wave.

Talking about my depression, anxiety, and dark thoughts has been hugely therapeutic for me. Even now, speaking openly about things that might be uncomfortable has made me feel empowered to be exactly who I am. Speaking about thoughts that I had allowed my family and I to pinpoint some areas of my life that were at an absolute breaking point, even if I didn’t see them as such. When you’re talking about your feelings, you can also get to realizations faster than just keeping it all bottled up.

It was so hard for the people I love to hear me speak about life so apathetically, but it also allowed us all to work towards a healthy solution to the problem.

I Created

Courtesy of HeartSupport and the #InsteadILive campaign

If you guys couldn’t tell, I do have a blog. LOL. No, but I’ve been writing about mental health and those moments of pure mental anguish for a long, long time. Even before they were under the name “EmyD”. I also used song, dance, and art to express thoughts that I literally could not formulate into words. Throwing myself headfirst into hobbies allowed me to give a shit, for lack of a better term. When all else failed, I had something that actually made me feel productive and a bit more human.

Don’t get me wrong. There were days that I was so mentally exhausted I couldn’t get out of bed. The idea of “perking myself up with a painting” would have made me vomit. Let me tell you, though, learning to live for something is a game-changer. I couldn’t put all of that on my brother because it’s not fair, nor does it give me autonomy as a young woman. I had to learn how to love what I could say, do, write, and create all on my own.

I Advocate

While I still have a mental illness, it’s been a long time since my mind has had a suicidal thought. It’s not because I’ve grown out of it or completely changed. Rather, it’s because I found value in life that I couldn’t see. I learned coping mechanisms for mental illness that only worsened it. Lastly, I learned that saying “I need help” doesn’t make you any less of a badass.

These days, I still have really bad days. They come much more in frequently now. Between them are many really great days to ward off the darkness. But, I still have bad days. I advocate for people with mental illness and suicidal tendencies because living is the best decision I’ve ever made.

I advocate now because six years ago, I needed someone else to advocate for me. I commit myself to preventing suicide in any way I possibly can on this National Suicide Prevention Day. Even when it gets dark and scary, I have to remind myself that I can defy the thoughts that want to put me down by saying, “Instead, I live.”

Thank you so much @HeartSupport for creating such an important initiative and constantly advocating for important things. Thank you, Taylor Palmby, for encouraging me to look into the #InsteadILive campaign!

Join the conversation on any of my socials or find valuable resources through HeartSupport!

Behind the Blog: Why I Blog

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My sweet friend, Kate, recently sent me a message asking me how I got to where I’m at: how I put myself out there, how I overcome insecurity, and how I don’t worry about what others think. Truth be told, I did all of those things for a long time when I first pressed “Activate” on my own website. There’s still days where it overcomes me. Even if it doesn’t seem like it everyday, there’s a lot that goes on behind the blog.

Why I Started

As you know, I’ve been writing for a while. I’m a huge advocate for journaling because it’s been one of the only ways I can express my chaotic emotions in a healthy way. Blogging, though, is different. Different in a way that when I finally finished…it was out there. It was on the internet. In a way, sending those words off into cyberspace has almost released the tension from inside my brain.

Along with that release, comes a wave of anxiety about what people will think about what you just wrote. Will they like it? Will it resonate with anyone? Is anyone even going to read this? Truth be told, when you initially post you don’t have any of those answers. If you’re looking for outward gratification in comments, likes, and messages, you’re not going to get it every time. If you’re piece changed one person, though, it was worth it. That includes you.

When I say that, I don’t mean that every Facebook status is worth posting. In fact, I would like you Baby Boomers to take just one more second before you send that aggressive novel of a status. Instead, I mean that sharing, posting, and relating to others through our own experiences can be hugely beneficial. We can literally make a community behind our blog that makes every post easier.

Out with the Old

These days, I’ve started to care less and less what old acquaintances think of my blog or what Timmy from church has to say about my way of life. One, because they aren’t paying my bills or contributing to my serotonin levels. Two, because it makes me feel good. So back off, Timmy.

The motivation behind the blog comes from moments like this… where I’m reminded how beautiful, amazing, and genuine my everyday life is!

Even if this blog had zero views, (which I will brag that it does in fact have more than zero) the fact that I feel more and more comfortable talking about things like addiction, body image, and mental health is worth the price of a website even if no one was reading. It’s worth the time it takes to write.

In With the New

When you’re on Pinterest, you seem to think there’s two camps of bloggers. There’s the Tumblr blogger that you would only come across in a rabbit hole.Or, there’s the blogger that makes millions of dollars, has all the deals, and has definitely published a book or two. Absolutely not.

I was surprised to see just how big the blogging community was. It’s full of people who exclusively post on Instagram in photo blogs. There’s people making a ton of money from their words and definitely will have that book deal we were talking about. There’s also mid-sized bloggers (like EmyD!), specific niche bloggers, and so many others. The coolest thing is that they all support each other. It’s not cut throat and weird like other businesses you could get into.

I was okay with letting go of the hope that everyone from my small Wisconsin hometown was going to read my blog when I saw how many people actually understood me across the world. There were so many people that, like me, just wanted to write, create, and make money while doing it. Suddenly, the dreams that seemed too big for my little town felt too small for the groups I was encountering!

Behind the Blog Today

Thank you Evan MacDougall at E.Mac Photography for this amazing pic!

Everyday there is something different going on behind the blog. One day, I can’t even get a cohesive sentence out. There’s no way a blog is going up. There’s other days were scrolling through Instagram is mentalling exhausting. Yes, I’m fully aware of how unbelievably ridiculous that sounds, but when you work and hustle online you’d want to throw you’re computer out the window somedays too. There’s other days where I literally cannot tell enough people about how cool my job is.

I consider myself a blogger, an influencer, and a PR strategist. Taking my own life into my hands, I decided that writing and social media was going to be the way that I was going to make my living because it made my heart feel good.

Are there days where I’m scared? Yes. Do I push the boundaries of my own self confidence to post some things? YES. I mean, for God’s sake I said how much I weigh! But, at the end of the day, would I change a thing? Nope.

Are you thinking of starting a blog? What’s stopping you? Connect with you on any of my social media platforms to learn how YOU can start your own brand and make money online!

You Could Write a Book Today

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This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission, at no cost to you, if you make a purchase through one of the links!

I was very careful not to put the word “if” at the beginning of the title for this blog. It’s “You Can Write a Book Today” because you can. I know you can. It’s possible. There’s really no “if” to add there.

Every time I go through a bookstore, scour the bookworm hashtag online, thrift for gems in large piles of books, or even just scroll through Amazon, I’m amazed at the sheer amount of books that exist. If you want my all time favorite book, you’d look for The Giver by Lois Lowry. If you wanted my favorite book in the personal growth genre, you’d look for You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero. There are genres, worlds, and cult-followings to appreciate all by opening a book. Crazy, right?

Realistically, you could write a book right now, right? If you’re reading this blog, you probably know a good amount of words to string together and formulate a book. Even if it’s not Nobel Prize material quite yet. You could do it.

Swimming and Writing a Book?

Stick with me in this long-winded analogy, okay? It will make sense. Along with all the things you’re reading about me do, I also teach kids how to swim in the summer. I did not swim thousands of miles a day for eight years for it to go to waste.

Let me tell you something about kids… they are in one of two camps. They are either unbelievably unafraid where they jump into the pool with no lifeline and no idea how to swim. This camp is sparse and so refreshing as a teacher. Then, there’s the camp that most children find themselves in when they try just about anything new – terrified of their utter demise.

Don’t get me wrong. You need to fear the water a little bit so you don’t dive into a winding river that is NOT supposed to be swam in. Usually what children fear, though, is their own lack of knowledge. They could swim perfect laps in the shallow end and the minute they know they can’t stand they’ll forget all about it. Arms will start flailing, legs will spazz, and that head goes under fast. When you start telling kids that their bodies, their minds, and their muscles naturally know how to help them to the top, they just have to calm down and let it happen, something changes for them.

I have a kid in my classes that was terrified of the deep end. He could swim like he was on a swim team in the shallow end. He told me that he was still scared of sinking to the bottom no matter how many times I told him I wouldn’t let that happen. When I finally described that his lungs are full of air to help him to the top, his fear washed away with every jump. He yells “When I’m calm, I float!” Which is both adorable and true.

You Body Knows, You Need Calm

Whether or not you want to believe it, your body, mind, and muscles all know how to push forward. They know how to keep you afloat and help you survive. When you take a big plunge like going to college, making a big investment, or taking a year off to write a book, your body reacts how you allow it to.

“I can write a book today,” is an affirmation that not everyone has. However, putting that calm, clear truth into the world allows your body to go with the flow. Giving into the overwhelm and stress is the start of your flapping arms. Screaming at your spouse about alone time while you write your chapters is the spazzing of feet. When you start to resent the action, rather than love the process… that’s your head going under.

So… You Could Write a Book Today, Right?

This goes for any big dive that you take in this life. It’s easy to resent those big moves when you’re exerting all your energy in the process. No, I’m not teaching a group of children that swimming is just letting water do what it wants to you, which is not what I’m advocating for your life jumps either. I am, however, telling you to love the process because there was a moment you didn’t think you could.

Book writing was my deep end of the pool. I was terrified of the utter demise that was putting my words onto paper and people reading them. I’m not like Jen Sincero or Rachel Hollis. They were the Olympic swimmers to me in floaties. As I kept writing, researching, and loving my own mind, I realized that I could write a book today. I could write ten books. It might be scary and take practice, but my heart already knows how to keep me afloat and write the words.

What’s a big jump you’ve been waiting to take? Would your body know what to do? Let me know in my socials below!

Why I Wear My Mask

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** This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission, at no cost to you, if you make a purchase through one of the links! **

I live in a place where not everyone is sold on masks. It’s not like New York City where people want to wear masks because nearly everyone has either had this virus or seen a loved one have it. I live in Wisconsin where open farmland stretches between every big city. There’s a lot more space and less people so the case numbers don’t look so bad on paper. You’d think that it would only push people to wear masks in the bigger cities…nope. I guess I never really had to think about why I wear my mask.

People DON’T Wear Masks?

I’m not going to trash Wisconsin too much in this post. There’s too many die-hard Badgers on all of my social media feeds. Also, it’s still the place that I call home. Milwaukee and Madison make up a huge percentage of the State’s population which tend to be very liberal parts of the state. Smaller counties tend to be more conservative with far less people. There’s obvious outliers like cities with big universities or one’s that are closer to the Illinois border, but you generally see those liberal vs. conservative trends throughout the state. Living in two fairly liberal counties for all my life, I always thought that Wisconsin was split. Then, I started to go up north.

After we all took COVID tests, self-quarantined, and bought enough hand sanitizer to fill a bathtub, my friends and I went to an AirBNB in Somerset, Wisconsin. It’s a tiny little town near the Minnesota border. I would definitely consider it “up north” even if my friends would laugh at me.

The most outrageous P. Diddy party that you’ve ever seen. We know. But, we got swabs up our nose for this so cut us some slack.

While I’ve been buying disposable masks for my car and researching where to buy good hand sanitizer, I would bet money that half the residents of these small towns didn’t even think to buy one yet. In small town Wisconsin, the threat of a pandemic truly hadn’t brought stress to their everyday lives – not because they couldn’t see it on their TV or weren’t worried about their families, but because they hadn’t necessarily seen it with their own eyes yet.

Why DO We Wear Masks?

As humans, empathy can be hard. We have to watch our role models care about things that might not directly be affecting them. We feel sad when mommy cries even if we have no idea what’s going on. As we grow up, we’re really angry that our friend got bullied on the playground, even if it wasn’t us. We learn that the actions toward others and of others can affect us. Enter global pandemic and perfect opportunity for us to show our empathetic sides!

My sweet friends, Megan and Nathan, have put masks on their children since March. Their kids are a whopping 2 years old and 3 years old (he would tell you he’s about to be 4 and he wants an ankylosaurus for his birthday). They know that taking their children into public places, like a quick Target run, does not guarantee anyone in their house safety. They know that the little piece of fabric covering their child’s face doesn’t protect against everything. They’ve taught their children, however, that masks are what superheroes wear to keep everyone else safe.

They know that they have to wear their masks to keep others safe. So, those little babes and my sweet friends teaching them empathy are why I wear my mask. Because if toddlers can wear masks for a grocery run to keep other people safe, my grown 23-year old ass can.

I Wear My Mask Because…

I wear my mask to keep people like my grandma safe. That little lady has spent the better part of 5 months in her house with only a couple adventures to the outside world. As someone who is extremely high risk, my grandma and other people’s grandparents are braving it to get their errands done. I wear my mask to do whatever possible to keep them safe!

I wear my mask for my amazing hair dresser. I’ve been seeing her for years. Even if I wasn’t picketing with signs about it, my roots were looking pretty rough in quarantine. I’ve done enough hair treatments to sing “Beauty School Dropout” as my theme song. Truthfully, I will be adding those Shea moisture products (here are the ones I use) as a source of amazing self care long after COVID, but a girl needs some stylist attention too! Her business and clients are a livelihood that she depends on for financial security and her own sanity. I wear my mask to keep her safe so that she can snuggle her grandkids on the days she has off. If I want to enjoy the luxury that is going to get my hair done, I can prioritize health in that process.

I wear a mask for my immunocompromised friends who’ve already had a hard go at life. I’ve watched some take their blood sugar before we go out and give themselves insulin. Some have lost a ton of muscle mass just trying to figure out what they could eat. Others can’t even go a week without having a fever. I wear a mask for my friends with asthma, allergies, and colds. Those who normally feel fine but wouldn’t be okay I exposed them to something.

I Wear My Mask Because I’m a Superhero

At the end of the day, I wear a mask for me. I wear a mask because it sends the message that I want to send out into the world. It says that I care about others – that I’m empathetic to their health, well-being, and lives. It shows that I will do what’s in my power to end this weird period of pandemic. I wear a mask to set an example that it’s the “cool” thing to do even though I’m surprised it’s a discussion. I wear a mask because I’m a superhero and they always help others.

Why do you wear YOUR mask? Tell me using the links to any of the socials below! I want to hear your story!