Category: Lifestyle

Baby Bell

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Getting pregnant with our son was one of the biggest surprises & greatest blessings of 2019. Bryan & I had just gotten engaged in March and three short months later, our sweet boy was on his way. I remember the day we found out I was pregnant I had an inkling that I was & decided to grab a test to take when I got home. The thing about me is, I cannot just patiently wait until the end of the day to find out about something or do something knowing in the back of my mind I know the answer. So I rushed back to work from my lunch break, took the test in the bathroom & BAM! Two VERY clear lines appeared and I immediately burst into tears. I ran back into the office, told my co-worker I was “sick” & needed to excuse myself for the rest of the day. I just could not contain myself.

I got home before my husband & decided to tell him in a cute way. On our back door a white board said “You + Me + Three”. Let me tell you the few hours I had to wait for him to come home were SO nerve-wracking. I remember hearing the garage door open & thinking to myself, “Okay, this is it!” He walked in, looked at me & said “So we’re pregnant?!” I instantly began crying and through the waterworks I mumbled, “You’re not mad??” He cracked the biggest smile and asked why he would ever be mad. I had no idea what his reaction would be, to be completely honest. We had just gotten engaged, I didn’t know if he wanted to get married first before having a family…but I was just so happy that I was carrying our angel & with the man of my dreams.

Waiting until the beginning of my second trimester to tell people was HARD! I so badly wanted everyone to know about our bundle of joy but, knowing the risks of miscarriage in the first trimester, I couldn’t put myself through announcing it too early God forbid anything were to happen. It felt like the first three months went on forever but once everyone knew we were expecting, the remaining two trimesters flew by.

Fast forward to the end of October – I’m almost 20 weeks pregnant & DYING to know the sex of our baby. From day one Bryan & I prayed for a little boy. We would be happy with either as long as they were healthy but, we really wanted a boy. We decided to have a gender reveal & my sister in law was the only one that knew. On October 26th, we had our family & friends over to the reveal. Bryan is into cars like no other so I thought it would be fun to incorporate his Camaro into the reveal. While we stood by, Bryans dad, Jeff did a burnout which would reveal either pink or blue smoke. The few moments prior were the most nervous and excited I think I had ever felt. Finally, BLUE SMOKE. IT WAS A BOY!

My pregnancy with our son was everything I could have hoped for. I had no morning sickness, no food aversions (Thank God), and was able to stay really active all through out. Every doctors appointment we went to he was perfect & growing more and more. The last few weeks I could really feel my body getting ready to prepare for his arrival but still stayed as positive as I could. His nursery was done, my mother hosted a beautiful baby shower for us & now we we’re just waiting on our sweet boy.

By 36 weeks, your OB will have you come in on a weekly basis to check to see how the baby is measuring and make sure there aren’t any complications. My mid-wife began noticing protein in my urine, and my blood pressure was creeping up. Because I didn’t have any severe swelling along with it, she wasn’t terribly worried. At my 39 week appointment, I vividly remember her coming into the room with a sad face on & I immediately said “You can’t walk in here with a sad face, what is going on?” She told me “It’s time to go to the hospital”. Instantly I began to cry uncontrollably and sweating profusely. This was NOT how I wanted things to happen! I wanted to go into labor on my own, hang out at home for as long as I could and then make our way to the hospital. God however had different plans.

To say I was freaked out is an absolute understatement. I had no idea what to expect and was so terrified of what was to come I couldn’t get myself to calm down. My mid-wife, God bless her, was so supportive of my birth plan and told me she truly thought I would go in to labor on my own. I was admitted to the hospital on March 16th, and after a very restless night, she came to break my water at 8:30 AM, March 17th. I was so scared but so ready to meet our son. She quickly broke my water and I thought, man, that was nothing! It just felt like a water balloon had broken between my legs. The thing about having babies is, everyone is different. Not one of us will have the same experience so I tried to not think about the pain or what would happen, I just wanted to deliver our son safely & he be healthy. Soon after, I went from 3CM to 10 in a matter of two hours. I had ZERO transitional labor like most women have. My contractions were so intense I kept yelling at my L&D nurses that I couldn’t do it. Tammy, one of my nurses, laughed & said “Well, you’re already doing it girl”. She was amazing. She rubbed my back and showed Bryan how to help me through each contraction. I had opted out of pain medication…something about a giant needle getting shoved into my back scared the hell out of me and for years I had always imagined I would deliver my baby naturally. I was so serious about it that I didn’t even sign the epidural waiver. Our bodies were made to do this & I knew I could push through the pain.

At 12 PM, my mid-wife returned to check my progress and before I knew it, it was time to push! Honestly, it was the greatest feeling in the world which might sound crazy but I felt relief breathing him down and out of my body. I used a bar across the bed to keep me upright and that helped immensely. 12:27 PM, March 17th, 2020, our son, Carter Jeffrey Bell was born. 7 pounds, 1 ounce & 19 inches of pure perfection.

What I read from other women who had given birth was, as soon as that baby is on your chest, all the pain you just went through is gone. They couldn’t have been more right. As soon as he arrived, everything I had just experienced was gone- I was on a high that I couldn’t even explain. Our son was finally here and our parenting journey began.

Our sweet boy is almost 7 months old as I’m writing this & I cry looking back at these photos because it feels like it was just yesterday we found out we we’re pregnant. Now, I’m planning his 1st birthday (insert crying face here). I couldn’t imagine my life without Carter, or my husband and am so grateful that he chose me to be his mama.

5 Tips to Help Seasonal Allergies

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** This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission, at no cost to you, if you make a purchase through one of the links! **

Seasonal allergies have got me absolutely miserable some days. I’m not sure if it’s some sick joke, but on the days I need to be the most focused my allergies seem the worst. I didn’t start dealing with allergies until my late teens, so learning to deal with them has been a process. Unlike kids with a lot of allergies already, I wasn’t used to keeping Claritin or Benadryl around at all times. However, I’ve done some research, suffering, and thriving through allergy season that gives me 5 tips to help seasonal allergies.

Nasal Spray

I’m not a huge fan of things up my nose, but nasal sprays have done me well in allergy season. Any brand of saline nasal spray will work, but I typically reach for Flonase. I have to blow my nose all the time, so any sort of relief is appreciated. 

In this time, we’re wearing masks which seems to make the sniffling even worse. I’ve found that using a nasal spray has been a cleaner way to subside the sniffles and sneezing for an extended period of time.

Definitely follow the directions on the box, though! Every nasal spray has a maximum amount of times you’re supposed to use the product per day. OVeruse may have an opposite effect on your already allergy-ridden nose.

Hot Showers

Hot showers are a year-round thing for me, but they’ve been Heaven-sent for me during allergy season. I had bronchitis a couple of years back which seems to stick with you whenever you have respiratory issues.

Adding some hot water vapor into your life can soothe your airways and it can also relax the muscles that tend to tense up in allergy season. It’s a cheap way of getting the effects of a humidifier without the actual machine & very quickly!

Putting eucalyptus in your shower is also insanely helpful. You can buy it at Trader Joe’s or other grocery stores. Once you set the fresh plant in your shower, it will release essential oils to help you out!

Essential Oils

I’m not overly knowledgeable about essential oils. A simple Google or Pinterest search would answer a lot of the questions on why these things work. I just know that they really do work for me, especially when I don’t want to load up my body with allergy medication. As I said before, I’ve used eucalyptus in it’s all natural form. I’ve only really worked with a couple forms of essential oils, but they can be purchased through actual dealers or online!

My allergies cause me to get tension headaches with which I don’t want to take medication on top of my allergy pills. I’ve chosen to reach for rollersticks that contain peppermint. Again, I’m not sure why this voodoo magic works…but it does. It relieves a ton of tension in my head and neck! I have this one, if you’re looking!

Sometimes, I have trouble getting to sleep as well. I use lavender spray for my pillows along with melatonin to get as much sleep as possible! Allergies can keep you up and definitely make you toss around. This way, I feel as comfortable as possible in bed in a natural way. I tried it for the first time with the Bath and Body Works brand, but there are cheaper options that are a little more Apothecary-like (this one). 

Heating Pad

I actually discovered my undenying need for a heating pad accidentally. My lower back was killing me. I bought a heating pad thinking that I’d use it until it felt better and then it would collect dust. NOPE.

Similar to the hot shower thing, keeping that heat on my back or chest while I sleep has been hugely helpful in easing muscle tension. When I sneeze it doesn’t feel like all my bones are about to break (as much). Plus, it’s super comforting! For single queens like me, it’s nice to have a little warmth in your bed!

I picked mine up at Target! It’s in the size XXL so I can move around and even wrap around my shoulder or my hip if I need to! However, I just found one from Sunbeam on Amazon that’s the exact same size and cheaper. If I can’t get the savings, you guys should!

Medicine

Since most of these are pretty natural ways of combating seasonal allergies, I also want to include my daily go-to. Allergy medication has pretty much saved my life for a couple years. I personally take Benadryl, Claritin, or an off-brand non-drowsy! 

As I’ve said before on EmyD, I’m not against taking medication when it’s necessary. However, it’s not something I would love to do if there’s other options. There are certain days I wake up feeling like someone is holding my nose. I start those days out with coffee and Claritin.

Even though you can pick up allergy medication just about anywhere, it doesn’t mean that it will affect everyone the same way. Benadryl still makes me unreasonably sleepy when I take it. In fact, I’m so tired I probably shouldn’t be operating machinery. When I first started taking allergy medication, I found that having any residual caffeine in my body along with the pill would make me feel intoxicated. Weird, right? 

Like every other medication, be safe about your use with it! Talk to your doctor if you have concerns when it comes to other medications or your lifestyle! They may even be able to give you something that’s prescription and personalized for you! 

The Allergy Takeaway

Allergies totally suck. There’s no ifs, ands, or buts about that. Fall is too pretty to spend it absolutely miserable though! You deserve to get out to the pumpkin patch, go one walks, and have your windows open without feeling like you’re going to sneeze out the contents of your brain. 

Like I said, fall is way too cute to miss out on! Check out our balcony!

This year is even more tricky! We’re trying especially hard not to get sick. On the bright side, though, everyone is being more cognizant of washing their hands! That means tracking a lot of the things we’re allergic to from outside to inside might be lowered. 

If you’re feeling totally exhausted from allergies, I feel you. I hope that you find relief in any of these five tips to help with seasonal allergies. If not, I hope that you find your own way to work through them. (And then share it with me!) We’re in this together!

Do have allergies? Tell me your tips and tricks through my socials below!

Being Proud of Your Decisions

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Today, I listened as my brother stood his ground about a decision that was really hard for him to make. Like many other eighteen year olds, his first year of college was not what he planned on or dreamed about for years. Thus, like many others, he decided to defer for a semester – to work, save, and learn how to be an adult while the pandemic has it’s way with the world. Unfortunately, he was made to feel bad about his decision. He stood his ground and confidently listed the reasons why staying home felt the best for him right now. Truthfully, he grew up right in front of my eyes right then and he taught me a little something about being proud of your decisions.

Queen Indecisive

Nothing is promised to you in this life. There’s nothing that we’ve learned more clearly in a global pandemic than that lesson. Honestly, it makes being indecisive a little easier when you feel like a lot is riding on virtually every decision that you make. I mean, sure it might just be what we’re having for dinner but what if the love of my life is at the OTHER place. Yes, that’s dramatic; however, you get the point.

For a majority of my life, I’ve absolutely not been good at making decisions. I really dislike disappointing people and I don’t want to be the one to blame if things go wrong. I eventually learned that it’s a little thing called Social Anxiety that inhibits making decisions that involve others. As my mental health got worse, I was indecisive because I didn’t want the attention to be on me. It was the perfect storm.

There comes a time, though, that you have to start making decisions. If not for everyone in the room, at least for yourself. You can make them and think about all the things that could have been. Or, you can make them and be content in the decision that you made. 

What Could Have Been

I’m sure we all have a moment in our life that we would take back if we could. I’ve absolutely said things that should never have come out of my mouth. I have also dated men that were just plain old bad to me. I’ve gone back to men that were bad to me.

Honestly, a lot of the poor decisions that we make come from a lack of confidence in our own decision making ability. We seem to second guess ourselves and think of all the things that “should’ve, would’ve, or could’ve” happened. Things definitely would have turned out differently, but better? Nobody will ever know. Nothing is promised in this life. Spending your time wishing you’d gone with another decision rather than leaning into the one you’ve already made seems like a BIG waste of time. 

Mistake Versus Decision

I made the conscious decision to go back to men that were not treating me very nicely. Even when I talk about it now, I don’t think that I’d change it. Some part of me needed to learn what I was worth through heartbreak and a bunch of tears. Saying something that you don’t mean, however, is a mistake. Like, decision-making, it’s important to come to terms with your mistakes, take responsibility, and move the eff on! There’s nothing worse, however, than someone standing by a mistake as if it was a decision they consciously made. 

For example, if you’re wrong about information you said and a friend calls you out on it. Unless you preemptively planned on spreading false information, it was a mistake. You don’t have to stand your ground to be right when you make a mistake. All the cool kids are saying sorry about behavior, thoughts, and actions that aren’t right these days – get with it!

Being Proud of Your Decisions

I watched Sullivan tell a person of authority from his school his truth. He was proud of his decision to take a beat. He knows that though it’s not right for everyone, it’s what’s right for him. Making decisions that are best for you, your mental health, finances, or just your happiness feels good! You are allowed to feel good. 

It can be as simple as, “I don’t want to do that.” Decisions don’t have to be made resentfully or in haste. Giving yourself power and autonomy in sticking to them can greatly increase your quality of life – not to mention the quality of those you surround yourself with! So, what’s are YOU deciding for YOU today?

Tell me about something you’ve done for you lately in the socials below!

There’s Too Much On My Plate!

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If you follow me at all, you know that I’m a busy lady. I’ve been taking photos as a side hustle since 2017. I launched a podcast, then re-launched it, in 2019. This blog is now a year old. I also make money through a survival, service industry job and freelance my PR to start my dream profession! It’s a lot. I love being busy. My “To Do” list is almost never empty – it would drive some people crazy, but it reminds me that I’m becoming successful! However, there’s a fine line between workaholic and breakdown because of stress, right? These days, there are moments where I have to remind myself to slow down and repeat “there’s too much on my plate,” when other things to agree to come up.

A Helping of Work

This weekend was one of the busiest in a while. For my business, the couple days surrounding the end and the beginning of each month are absolutely insane. It’s about getting insights done, contracts written for the upcoming month, and being diligent about the Public Relations changes that we’ve made throughout the month. The transition from September to October of this year was one of the busiest for my business. For that, I am unbelievably blessed. However, I’m also taking on challenges like I don’t have the clientele and following that I do. Sometimes I need to slow down!

Slowing down, however, means pumping the brakes on something that I’ve been working on for so many months now. It also means finding priorities in my days. Some things have to wait until tomorrow. Other things, like the needs of my clients, need to be done quickly and successfully. Yes, it’s a lot. However, it’s something that I’ve been working on for so long. I’m blessed to be busy with my work. Rather than thinking, “Ugh, I wish I wasn’t so busy,” I am going to reframe it as “I’m blessed to call what I love work & if I wasn’t supposed to be doing this, I wouldn’t be.”

A Helping of Birthday

This weekend was my beautiful roommate, Shelby’s, birthday! We celebrated her on Friday with a small group of friends at our house. The pandemic always adds a layer of stress to things that would otherwise go off without a second thought. This year, we hosted the event at our apartment, since we’re not going to go to bars! I’ll say it – I’m an AWESOME hostess. I was happy to put out food, grab a little cake, and clean the house.

It was an amazing day to celebrate a great friend! Entertaining is always high maintenance, but even more so in a pandemic. I wanted to make sure that all of our surfaces were not only clean, but completely disinfected. It was important that everyone had somewhere to sit. By no means was this party imperative, however, my friends mean the world to me. If we can have a night of normalcy to celebrate our girl, that’s a priority to me! I was happy to take it on my plate. So, instead of “I have to clean the house,” it was “I get to see my friends.”

A Helping of Marriage

I had the absolute honor of photographing the wedding of some of my favorite clients. Photography has absolutely taken the back burner to the other aspects of EmyD. I’ve had amazing success with EmyD Photography, but it’s not what I want to do as my full-time job. However, having big shoots like this always lights a fire under my butt to get more creative and inspired with my content.

Someone’s wedding day is the Big Kahuna of photography. As much as I love senior shots, you can always get another beautiful day to retake if necessary. You can’t redo the elements of a wedding that the couple wants to capture forever. There’s moments like the first look, the kiss, and the dances that are so “in the moment” that they become high pressure.

Maybe the reason that I don’t want to be a full-time photographer is because I’m so tense and perfectionistic when it comes to my work. I’ve had lists and Pinterest boards preparing for this wedding for weeks. Emily, the bride, is also a planner which made me feel a little more sane. She was so organized and amazing. Honestly, her preparedness calmed everyone around her down, but I like to walk into my shoots with that same level of confidence and organization! Though it was a mentally exhausting day, it was amazing. I’m so happy to have been a part of it. So, instead of “I have to prepare for this long day of shooting,” it became, “I am blessed to get paid for doing things that make me feel creative, inspired, and motivated.”

Reframing a Full Plate

Yes, I put a lot on my plate. I always have and truthfully, I don’t see that changing any time soon. The way that I look at it, there’s a couple ways to go about being busy in life. You can be resentful that your life is busy or that you didn’t have to get up to go to meetings with clients. You can wish that you didn’t have to post consistently, but that would mean that your following would decrease. 

Or, you can do what I do. I choose to run with it. There are some days where I absolutely just need like 12 hours of sleep which came to me at 8:30pm this Saturday night. However, I wouldn’t trade being busy for being bored. If I didn’t feel pressure to post, it would mean that I was still hustling for a following. If I didn’t feel like I had to prepare content, it would mean that I wasn’t signing clients. photoshoots like weddings are a lot to prepare for, but without them I wouldn’t be able to get creative for a job!

Sometimes, I have to ask for help in carrying my plate. I’ve asked Sullivan to help me at shoots. There’s been moments when my lovely clients are patient with me so that they get the best product. But agreeing to the things that you want to do, loading only what you want onto your agenda, and being your true self will make being busy so much more enjoyable. Yes, there’s too much on my plate… but I wouldn’t have it any other way.


What have you been really busy with? Let me know in my socials below!

Having a Type A Personality in a Pandemic

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I would love to sit here and tell you that I’m a Type B personality. I would love to embody those characteristics. For a while, I even had myself convinced that I already did. I might have some in the bag, though. As I sit here and write a blog on a website that I built from scratch, I’d like to believe I’ve got a little bit of creativity in my blood. I am also queen of the “Tendency to Procrastinate” category. College for me was a bunch of nights doing papers in 6 hours that were assigned 3 months prior. But, alas, I am a Type A personality. Let me just say it: It’s difficult having a Type A personality in a pandemic. 

After having a pretty rough week, I wanted to be a little more analytical about my personality, routine, and mindset within this weird time. Why are there certain moments that rub me the wrong way while others I can digest being in a pandemic perfectly fine? 

Type A Personalities have a tendency to multitask

I don’t fit the mold of a “typical blogger” and I’ve accepted that. Part of the reason I got my Mac was so that I could answer a bunch of emails/texts while I was writing. The amount of tabs open on my computer at a given time are enough to make anyone go crazy. But, it’s always been the kind of worker I am!

In a pandemic, it gets a little overwhelming. There’s so many things I can be doing for my budding business that the piles on my plate seem a little too big sometimes. Unlike with school, I don’t necessarily have deadlines pushing me to finish or grades to guarantee a good product. All of that motivation has to come from within.

As most of you probably know, juggling eight balls is much more difficult than throwing one ball up to catch it again. When you have a lot going on your form can get sloppy and you might even drop something. In reality, multitasking doesn’t really work… for the best work. Yet, those of us who HAVE TO juggle a lot of things at once still do it. We learn how to juggle them all best and hopefully, we learn when to say no to adding more to the mix.

Type A Personalities tend to be competitive

I’ll say it. I am ridiculously competitive. You challenge me in a board game and my trash talk might scar you for a while. I know, I know, positivity blogger. Seriously though, I’ve had a need to be the best since I was a kid. I don’t even think it’s necessarily because I like people to know that about me. Maybe I just want to know it about myself.

Type A competitiveness at WERK at a show choir competition in high school.

As I’m writing this, I’m realizing that it could be an ongoing battle with my own self image. Being competitive and therefore good at most things gives me the ego boost that I need sometimes. Being competitive as an adult is not cute, for lack of a better term. In the pandemic, it manifests itself in comparison with others – other bloggers, writers, and businesswomen. 

Truthfully, blogging is such a warm and accepting community. Those within the field want others to succeed too. So, when you have a competitive personality, you put pressure on yourself to be better, do better, and write better that does not need to happen. It’s a lot.

Type A Personalities are very organized

My patron saint is St. Organization. Color-coding got me through a double major program in the same amount of time I should have gotten only one degree. Now, having two planners, many lists, and ongoing Post-Its are what allow me to get through the day without pulling all my hair out. 

Check out my organization blog for actual tips!

It might be a little much to the outsider, but having this level of organization allows me to have control in my life that has a LOT going on. (See multitasking above.) There’s not a ton of certainty in a pandemic which means not a lot of things that can be organized. 

You almost don’t want to plan for the future in fear that the world comes to a grinding halt again. One day, in March, I was managing in the morning and laid off by night. For Type A-ers like me, the inability to make future, set-in-stone plans really inhibits our organization skills. All in all, pandemics are not great for this girl’s need to plan out her life.

Type A Personalities spend much of their time focused on work

I’m proud to say that Type A personalities are goal-oriented. That’s a characteristic about myself that I absolutely love. When you’re worried about getting sick or those around you making poor choices, your options are limited to staying in your house. Staying in your house means that your list of possible activities are also very limited.

During COVID, I’ve turned a lot to screens. All of my work can be done from my phone or laptop. Thus, I almost feel guilty when I’m NOT working because it’s so easily accessible within the pandemic. What I’ve had to realize, though, is that even though my job is available to me at all times on the computer… I don’t need to be working at all times to be considered successful. 

I have big goals when it comes to the blog, the podcast, and the PR business but spending too much time focused on work just promises to burn me out faster. In a pandemic, you have to be dedicated to scheduling yourself breaks. You have to make sure that you’re not spending all of your time sleeping, working, eating, or bingeing Criminal Minds on Netflix (it can’t be just me). Even though it’s within my personality to dive headfirst into my work while I have the capabilities and the time, it’s been a struggle to set limits for myself when the goals seem right there. 

Type A all Day

There was a time that I didn’t like who I was. I spent a long time learning to love my personality, mannerisms, and characteristics as they were the things that piled up to form me. Realizing where you might be struggling, however, is an emotionally intelligent thing to do at any stage of your life. 

Personally, there are personality traits that lead me to go a little crazy within the bounds of the pandemic. Some days, I have to actively remind myself that multitasking can be overwhelming. There’s moments where I have to be okay with going with the flow unlike ever before. Lastly, I have to remind myself that it’s okay to take breaks and reward yourself even when your goals are huge. 

Whether you have these traits or not, this time has been completely weird for all of us. Understand that you’re not alone if you’re feeling a little goofy, off, or just plain stressed. As we learn to live in a time that we never thought we would have to, we are all getting through it. One day at a time. 

How are you holding up during these times? Hit me up on social media and tell me your story!

Behind the Blog: Why I Blog

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My sweet friend, Kate, recently sent me a message asking me how I got to where I’m at: how I put myself out there, how I overcome insecurity, and how I don’t worry about what others think. Truth be told, I did all of those things for a long time when I first pressed “Activate” on my own website. There’s still days where it overcomes me. Even if it doesn’t seem like it everyday, there’s a lot that goes on behind the blog. 

Why I Started

As you know, I’ve been writing for a while. I’m a huge advocate for journaling because it’s been one of the only ways I can express my chaotic emotions in a healthy way. Blogging, though, is different. Different in a way that when I finally finished…it was out there. It was on the internet. In a way, sending those words off into cyberspace has almost released the tension from inside my brain.

Along with that release, comes a wave of anxiety about what people will think about what you just wrote. Will they like it? Will it resonate with anyone? Is anyone even going to read this? Truth be told, when you initially post you don’t have any of those answers. If you’re looking for outward gratification in comments, likes, and messages, you’re not going to get it every time. If you’re piece changed one person, though, it was worth it. That includes you. 

When I say that, I don’t mean that every Facebook status is worth posting. In fact, I would like you Baby Boomers to take just one more second before you send that aggressive novel of a status. Instead, I mean that sharing, posting, and relating to others through our own experiences can be hugely beneficial. We can literally make a community behind our blog that makes every post easier. 

Out with the Old

These days, I’ve started to care less and less what old acquaintances think of my blog or what Timmy from church has to say about my way of life. One, because they aren’t paying my bills or contributing to my serotonin levels. Two, because it makes me feel good. So back off, Timmy. 

The motivation behind the blog comes from moments like this… where I’m reminded how beautiful, amazing, and genuine my everyday life is!

Even if this blog had zero views, (which I will brag that it does in fact have more than zero) the fact that I feel more and more comfortable talking about things like addiction, body image, and mental health is worth the price of a website even if no one was reading. It’s worth the time it takes to write. 

In With the New

When you’re on Pinterest, you seem to think there’s two camps of bloggers. There’s the Tumblr blogger that you would only come across in a rabbit hole.Or, there’s the blogger that makes millions of dollars, has all the deals, and has definitely published a book or two. Absolutely not. 

I was surprised to see just how big the blogging community was. It’s full of people who exclusively post on Instagram in photo blogs. There’s people making a ton of money from their words and definitely will have that book deal we were talking about. There’s also mid-sized bloggers (like EmyD!), specific niche bloggers, and so many others. The coolest thing is that they all support each other. It’s not cut throat and weird like other businesses you could get into.

I was okay with letting go of the hope that everyone from my small Wisconsin hometown was going to read my blog when I saw how many people actually understood me across the world. There were so many people that, like me, just wanted to write, create, and make money while doing it. Suddenly, the dreams that seemed too big for my little town felt too small for the groups I was encountering!

Behind the Blog Today

Thank you Evan MacDougall at E.Mac Photography for this amazing pic!

Everyday there is something different going on behind the blog. One day, I can’t even get a cohesive sentence out. There’s no way a blog is going up. There’s other days were scrolling through Instagram is mentalling exhausting. Yes, I’m fully aware of how unbelievably ridiculous that sounds, but when you work and hustle online you’d want to throw you’re computer out the window somedays too. There’s other days where I literally cannot tell enough people about how cool my job is. 

I consider myself a blogger, an influencer, and a PR strategist. Taking my own life into my hands, I decided that writing and social media was going to be the way that I was going to make my living because it made my heart feel good. 

Are there days where I’m scared? Yes. Do I push the boundaries of my own self confidence to post some things? YES. I mean, for God’s sake I said how much I weigh! But, at the end of the day, would I change a thing? Nope.

Are you thinking of starting a blog? What’s stopping you? Connect with you on any of my social media platforms to learn how YOU can start your own brand and make money online!

How A Celebrity Can Change Your Mental Health Journey

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I met Demi Lovato in 2014. This is not a story of me magically running into her in the bathroom of my favorite restaurant. I bought tickets to her show. I bought the Meet & Greet package. But, I met her.  A celebrity changed my mental health journey.

** TW: Substance abuse, self harm, suicidal thoughts **

My life was at its absolute worst when I was a Junior in high school. My mental health was undiagnosed and running rampant. I was smart enough to get good grades in school but had become completely apathetic of actually learning or retaining anything. Being civil, I was able to hold it together but I pushed away those closest to me with a sharp tongue. I turned to hurting myself to feel anything at all.

If you’ve never been through this kind of low, it’s really hard to understand. If you’ve never felt the jagged rocks of “rock bottom” in your back as you stared blankly at your bedroom ceiling, this might be hard to wrap your head around. Honestly, I wouldn’t wish this feeling – or lack thereof – on my worst enemy.

My friend, Ross, had already met Demi before. I clung to him that year as one of my only sources of sanity. There was something about his overwhelming obsession with her that I didn’t really understand. Then, I really listened. Instead of staring at my ceiling in my dark bedroom in silence, I did it to the tune of “Skyscraper” coming off of my iPhone. I listened to her pain – something that I could understand. The triumphs in her lyrics faintly reminded me of moments before the depression got so bad. I actually listened to the music.

Ross and I in the second row at my first Demi Lovato concert. I only cried three times!!!

To me, Demi wasn’t a Disney-star-gone-rogue. She was talented and misunderstood. She was forced into a box for so long that she simply couldn’t take anymore – which is exactly how I was starting to feel. As I got diagnosed with new mental illnesses, I felt more and more like a freak show. Suddenly, I went from the blonde, preppy girl who was in everything to the depressed, anxious girl who was constantly absent. I was meant to fit in a box that my undiagnosed mental illness wasn’t allowing me to and the promise of an absolute shit show was looming.

Her honesty about addiction and drug use was something that I found really admirable. Her ability to speak about addiction in young people was something I didn’t even realize was a problem until my college years. By then, I had been following her for so long I saw the red flags a little more clearly. Most of all, I related to her because she wasn’t a Barbie. She was human – flawed, vulnerable, and damaged. Yet, someone that people could look up to. Something that I hoped I could be one day with my mental health.

“Now, I’m a Warrior”

I don’t know if I would have started talking about my mental health if it wasn’t for Demi’s story. More specifically, for the music. I started to pay attention to my drives to school. The actual words on the songs playing out of the speakers in my Chevy Malibu. On the DEMI album, there’s a song called “Warrior” which is my absolute favorite song to this day. So, if you ever need to answer trivia about me, there you go. It truly is about her coming to terms with a story that’s never been made public. That story finally makes her feel like a survivor; a warrior.

Even if I didn’t feel it at that moment, I knew that my mental health was something that I could handle. It was something that would change me forever and it didn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing. I knew that this was just another chapter in the story of my life that I would tell someday to my kids, my friends, or really anyone that would listen. Somewhere inside of me, I felt comfort in the words that Demi sang. Maybe our hardest moments really are there to bring out the warrior within us.

Demi’s influence on love & relationships

Now, six years later, there are still moments where you can see the place I “wear my battle scars” of depression as the song says. My partners have seen me be “ashamed and confused” of the person I was for a long time. 

Demi went through a couple relationships that always looked like love. To me, it gave me hope that someone could love me even if my brain didn’t produce enough serotonin. Demi had breakups, just like me. She sang about them in ways I didn’t think I needed, but I did. She empathized with me in loving someone we no longer had. Ripped my heart out in ballads just aching for them. But, she ultimately reminded me that I didn’t need anyone. I was a baddie just being me. Just like I was still a warrior from all those years ago.

Demi just got engaged. It was kind of like my best friend from kindergarten got engaged. You know the feeling, right? You haven’t seen them in a really long time. They’re not a huge influence on your daily life. But, at one point, they were all you had. In that moment, I was reminded that mental illness, addiction, self harm, and negative body image doesn’t make you less lovable.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CC-S49WhMDR/

The person that I had looked up to as a positive light for all those things had pushed through to find love, but what if she never really pushed through? What if part of our journey to happiness, acceptance, and healing is finding someone who jumps on that mental health rollercoaster with us? What if true love is finding someone to squeeze our hand when our stomach drops? Not make you get off and hold you, but just squeeze your hand. What if true love is someone that will scream at the top of their lungs alongside us at the very top? Not someone who just takes pics for the IG? Demi reminded me that mental illness doesn’t mean you’re half. It means that you have to look a little bit harder to find all the parts of your whole.

STILL, I’m a Warrior

At the end of the day, though, I do feel like a warrior. I know that I’ve survived every single hard day that life has thrown at me. I know that having a mental illness might absolutely suck some days. There will be temporary people who don’t understand. Mean words are going to be flung my way. Never again, though, will I try to fit into a box and deny who I am. 

I have severe clinical depression. I can say I have generalized anxiety. Sometimes, my severe social anxiety is noticeable. I suffer from panic disorder. I take medicine. But, I am me. I am a warrior. Demi was the first person I saw that made it cool to NOT be okay. Her music was the way that I understood the rollercoaster of the struggle and that I’m not the only one riding it.

Have you had a celebrity that changed your life? Tell me about them in any of my DMs below – I want to hear your story!

Finding the Silver Lining

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In both my podcast and my blog, I’ve talked about how quarantine has seriously changed everyone’s way of life. Whether your senior year came to an end, you were laid off, or you try to find normal at work every shift – it’s weird! With people continuing to get sick and no vaccine available quite yet, we’re probably going to be living in this weird uncertainty for a bit longer.

The best way that I’ve heard this period described was similar to “mourning.” We mourn the loss of hugging our friends when we see them after a while. We mourn the loss of being able to walk around Target at the drop of a hat. We mourn the loss of being able to even get our nails done. Some of us have even had to mourn the loss of our loved one’s lives due to the terrible illness. It’s a time of mourning a life as we knew it, and attempting to make this our new normal.

Separate from religion, I believe in energy. Things happen for a reason and lessons presenting themselves when we need them most. I have faith in the Universe. I know that even in the worst moments there can be a silver lining with which we grow. No, I don’t believe that Coronavirus is God’s wrath sent down to punish the sinners. If that makes you stop reading this blog, I’m sorry for the disappointment. But, I do believe that something is to be learned from the worst moments that Coronavirus has presented in front of us. Whether or not it was fair for us to learn them, we were ready to learn them, or we even needed them at the time, there might be a bright side to this dark time.

The silver lining

I’ve more saved now, then I ever would have. I know that some people can’t say the same thing. However, not having the ability to go to bars, nail salons, and malls has been a huge blessing to my bank account. It’s also made me realize that some of my coping mechanisms include spending money rather than dealing with a problem.

I haven’t been adding to our fossil fuel problem. I seriously drive my car twice a week. Again, I know that I am speaking for myself here. However, at the height of quarantine, I had no need to go anywhere. “Getting out of the house” was just taking a long walk – something I’m embarrassed to say that I haven’t done in a while. In the nicest way possible, there isn’t anywhere to go, so I don’t go anywhere.

This is a big one. My dogs are really happy I’m home. I’m not a cat person, so cats might be a different story. My dogs, however, are in literal Heaven having their humans constantly at home with them. My little Nala is an anxious wreck sometimes (just like her mom) but seems to be thriving. As the weather has gotten nicer, the dogs spend more time outside sunbathing and occasionally chasing a rabbit or two. You can tell they’re just happy to have more cuddles when they’re ready to go to bed at night.

Most importantly, I’ve been able to find peace with myself. Before all of this happened, I was going. I was trying to run a blog and a podcast while working full-time to make rent. Before the restaurants shut down, I was working, eating, and sleeping. The only other thing that I had time for was an occasional night of drinking with my friends. Needless to say, though, my lifestyle was not healthy or sustainable for someone who was trying to be successful. Though I was pushing content and getting to work, the burnout was absolutely on the horizon. The resentment for the life that I was living was coming – I could feel it.

The takeaway

Even if it was through bad circumstances, COVID19 forced me to take a breath. It forced me to take a break from the routine that I had fallen into. I had to question whether or not I was okay with it. It made me find peace with parts of my life I loved. At the same time, I was pushed to change the parts that I didn’t.

No, I may not say that I’m glad that it’s happening. Far from it, actually. However, that I can see the silver lining that washed up after all the waves of bad news. At the end of the day, I can say that I will survive. I can say that I am stronger because of Coronavirus.

Have you seen the silver lining in your life in this time of uncertainty? If so, what is it? Are you having a hard time finding it? If so, let’s talk about it! Start a convo with with me with any of my socials below!

A Morning Routine To Get Up For

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My biggest downfall in the self development sector is that my morning routine is not great. Other people that I work alongside wake up at dawn, get a long workout in, and do a full face of makeup. I, however, have learned how to get up at exactly the last moment to get to class, work, or whatever else I have planned for the day.

Now that I’m a graduate, my magical ability to leave the house six minutes after waking from a deep sleep is not nearly as impressive. Brushing my hair is not as “up in the air” for going through an entire day as it was for sitting through a power lecture. Truth be told, those tendencies signaled to the world that I didn’t see lectures as a priority. I didn’t even realize how important a morning routine could be when it came to mental health, preparedness, or quality of life.

I listened to an amazing podcast by Rachel Hollis that talks about supercharging your morning. My jaw dropped while I listened to all the things that she could fit into her morning before her day even really started. Here I am, always complaining about not having time to get my work done, when people like Rachel are tapping into that 6am hustle.

I’ve been experimenting with a morning routine since graduation. I’ve listened to podcasts like Rachel’s, read way too many blog posts, and had a lot of rough mornings. Through all of that, I’ve compiled a list of things that are essential for an amazing morning routine:

Wake up at a consistent time

This was taken at approximately 5:30 a.m.. It’s moments like these that we’re missing out on in the morning.

I used to always use the excuse that my work schedule was consistently changing so that I couldn’t get up at the same time every day. Like I said above, college classes don’t prime most of us to be morning people either.

Simply rising at the same time every day will build a habit in your muscle memory. Eventually, you probably won’t need an alarm, because sleeping past that set time doesn’t feel “right” in your bones. In Rachel’s podcast, she talks about getting up with the sun, but you don’t have to jump from a noon wake up to getting up at dawn. Rather, find a time that works for you, your lifestyle, and serves you the best and stick to it. You deserve that consistency.

  • Here are some tips in how to start that process:
    1. – Use your alarm as an actual alarm – no snoozing!
    2. – Set yourself up with at least 8 hours of sleep the night before
    3. – Jump right into your routine so you don’t fall back asleep!

Don’t reach for your phone first

Technology is the lifeblood of my business. My phone is my alarm clock, list of reminders, and primary contact for everyone in my life. Between my Mac and my iphone, is about 20,000 photos that I sort through before posting every blog. So, not instantly reaching for my phone in the morning has been a hard pill to swallow.

When we grab our phones, even if we every intention of being productive, we usually end up on social media or playing a game. Responding to emails usually turns into mindlessly scrolling through Twitter which is not a way to start out of a productive day. Rather than spending your first couple minutes staring into a phone screen, use them to get out of bed, get yourself together, and clear your mind! Avoiding your phone for even 10 minutes can cut out some of the chaos that technology automatically gives us.

EAT SOMETHING!

My morning routine on my California vacation was actually really impressive. This was breakfast everyday! Thanks, Aunt Peg!

I’m clearly not a dietician. Throughout our lives, though, we’ve been told the importance of breakfast. Whether it was as an advertisement for a sugary cereal or by your middle school health teacher, it’s common knowledge that a well balanced breakfast sets you up for a good day. While sleeping is used to rest our minds, it’s also used as a period of fasting. The term breakfast literally comes from us breaking the fast that we’ve had overnight. So, whatever you’re choosing to break that fast with usually plays a big part in what you’ll eat throughout the day. If you reach for a super sugar breakfast, you’ll probably crave it at lunch and dinner as well. If you opt for something with fiber and protein, your other meals might look a little healthier too.

In general, it’s so important to get something in your body to start your day. Calories, carbs, and vitamins are what fuels us throughout the day. Without breakfast, we’re drawing from whatever we ate the night before which will definitely lead to a burn out.

Make your bed part of your morning routine

You can tell how productive my day is going to be by walking into my workspace. During COVID19, that workspace has been my childhood bedroom with ALL my gadgets stuffed into it. If my bed isn’t made, though, I’m not at my optimal level. I’m not working at 100%. A consistently unmade bed can also mean this in my life, but it’s always a signal that I’m not ready to be working at 100%. Making your bed is a super simple way to clean up your environment and manually remove some of the chaos that we encounter in our day to do. While other moments of uncertainty can not be avoided, we want to prepare ourselves by tackling all the ones that can be!

Make a list.

Bloggers love lists. I mean, for God’s sake, you’re reading one right now. For me, a list has been immensely helpful in ticking off the important stuff and remembering the not-so-important stuff. I typically scribble down lists in my bullet journal, which has become my absolute ride or die. But, if to-do lists aren’t really your thing, there are many other lists that can increase productivity and be a little more entertaining. 

  • Morning list ideas:
    • – 5 things you’re grateful for (I do this!)
    • -10 goals you have for your future self (I do this too)
    • -Affirmations, or really nice things you’d like to say to yourself and remember throughout the day
    • -Habit tracker – this one can get as complex or simple as you want it to, but it’s really interesting to look back and see what habits you think you’re doing that aren’t actually getting done
    • -Bible verse/quote of the day

Not only are these things going to inspire you to put a little pep in your step, but they might get your important head muscle working too. Writing lists like that can be everything our brain needs to wake up and be ready for whatever the day throws at us.

You are reading the blog of the biggest night owl around. I’ve gotten very comfortable with things that should be done in the morning being done before bed.

Like every other habit we build in life, though, morning routines take time, patience, and repetition. There are mornings when 8 a.m is not going to feel great. There are even more mornings where your list will have three points on it. But, you have to keep going. Routines are built when habits have formed in our brain. Sometimes, that means completely reteaching ourselves to be early birds, rather than night owls we’re prone to being. If you don’t have enough time, energy, or structure in your day, here’s one question: What is YOUR morning routine?

What would you do to supercharge your morning? What are you doing that’s totally working? Let me know by sliding into the DMs of any of my socials below – I want to hear from you!

Finding A Partner That Serves You

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The past couple months have been spent bundled up in quarantine. I wish I could say I put my bustling love life on hold to be safe and responsible in the midst of a pandemic. Truth is, though, I stayed safe and responsible because I didn’t have a bustling love life to put on hold.

For a long time, being SO single was a gigantic chip on my shoulder. I mean, who was I to speak on both platonic and romantic relationships if I didn’t have the second half? While in quarantine, however, I’ve realized that being single isn’t an indication of someone being unworthy. In the past, I didn’t allow myself to go on dates or even think about another partner because I was caught up in toxicity that was an on and off again relationship. I was single as a form of self harm – a controllable punishment as a result of a failed relationship.

I wanted my first Valentine’s Day single to be SO performative & impressive, but I was really just hurt and looking for some answers in the people around me.

As things started to heal, though, I surrounded myself with people whose romantic situations all looked a lot different. Some of them had on and off boyfriends that I could absolutely relate to. Others had been dating their partner for six years and still never fought. I had a lot of questions for them. I had hilarious guy friends who remained single by choice because they weren’t ready to settle down quite yet. All of these situations spoke to me in different ways. The people that I loved and respected didn’t have to be in relationships to feel whole.

I started to surround myself with more strong, independent women. We had all outgrown the chasing boys phase we once had and now could be found breaking it DOWN on the dance floor. When we spoke about new men in our lives, the tone was a bit different. Their intelligence and character was almost as important as their looks. More importantly, we didn’t need to have a suitor to be worthy. We didn’t need a partner to warrant the attention. The time that we spent single was used to unlock all that confidence in ourselves.

Below is an amazing Instagrammer (@naturally_nichole_) who recently got engaged & got me thinking about building a life with a partner that actually serves us! Clearly, she found the right one (CONGRATS, girl!) and she brings up an amazing point. Sometimes, we have to leave behind a life we know to build one that better serves us – that includes our love life! Nichole made me start thinking about changes I’ve started to make and those that I want to implement. That is growth, my friends.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CBRr8FHgLIg/

Finding a partner that suits you can be extremely difficult. So often, we’re looking for someone to complete us but, we’re not half of anything. We don’t need another human to be whole. We don’t need a significant other’s touch to fix what we might view as broken. Rather, we need someone who compliments us. Sees the flaws as what they are – no sugarcoating, no gaslighting, no bullshit. We need someone who sees the flaws, acknowledges what they mean, and loves beyond them.

A partner that serves us encourages us to think differently, act differently, and behave differently without explicitly telling us to do so. They show parts of their experience that we’ve never seen. They check us when we’re horribly off base. Most importantly, they ask questions so that the confidence within you grows. If it all comes crashing down, they’re there to help you rebuild.

Everyone walks around with a fire inside them. You have it right now as you’re reading this. It could be roaring as you manage a huge business, get your doctorate, and make your sixth invention of the month. It could be just a teeny tiny spark; barely noticeable as you struggle to find your place. Regardless of what your fire looks like now, we enter all adult relationships with it and attempt to nurture it while doing a million other things. A good partner will nurture yours AND theirs. They won’t be intimidated by your glow, but applaud every level of success that you get to. They’ll push you to aim higher, ask what your new goals are, and love you even when you trip up. THAT’S a partner that serves YOU. That serves your fire. 

Guess what?! It’s okay to work on the fire before the partner! It’s okay to be a boss babe that sets all her work goals first. I mean, it is 2020, people. If you want to travel the whole world before you jump on a dating app…. Take lots of pictures! If you want to spend all your time writing blog posts instead of meeting “the one” in a Wisconsin bar… more time to save for a wedding!! The partner that we have for the long haul is for us. It’s not to prove to Nana, Mom, or Cousin Lucy that you’re worthy of love. They’ll see it when you finally have the one that serves you after checking all of your needs off the list. 

If you’re in the loop of “Why am I single?” bah-humbug, try this:

  • Surround yourself with more single people
  • Spend more time making money/projects/things than on dating apps
  • Follow more single people – this one is a life changer that you won’t even realize you did until you do it!!
  • Plan more trips with friends!
  • Let it go – odds are some beautiful sailor (who’s totally into mental health blogs & start up businesses) on leave for one night will magically bump into you when you’re at a girl’s night with all your friends but ONLY when you’ve stopped obsessing over the fact that you’re single

For right now, let the “partner that best serves you” be the people that know and love you most. It gets weird when life presents you with people who would be contenders in the past. The person that was tired of being single would have dated these partners in a heartbeat!! But, after some time being single, you’re actually willing to stand your ground, hold your standards, and wait for the person that’s actually going to serve you and your purpose.

Are you serving yourself first? Are you remembering that at the end of the day the world wants to see YOU it doesn’t care if your single, married, in a relationship, or divorced so show up and show off! Let’s chat on any of my socials below!