Tag: selfdevelopment

A Morning Routine To Get Up For

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My biggest downfall in the self development sector is that my morning routine is not great. Other people that I work alongside wake up at dawn, get a long workout in, and do a full face of makeup. I, however, have learned how to get up at exactly the last moment to get to class, work, or whatever else I have planned for the day.

Now that I’m a graduate, my magical ability to leave the house six minutes after waking from a deep sleep is not nearly as impressive. Brushing my hair is not as “up in the air” for going through an entire day as it was for sitting through a power lecture. Truth be told, those tendencies signaled to the world that I didn’t see lectures as a priority. I didn’t even realize how important a morning routine could be when it came to mental health, preparedness, or quality of life.

I listened to an amazing podcast by Rachel Hollis that talks about supercharging your morning. My jaw dropped while I listened to all the things that she could fit into her morning before her day even really started. Here I am, always complaining about not having time to get my work done, when people like Rachel are tapping into that 6am hustle.

I’ve been experimenting with a morning routine since graduation. I’ve listened to podcasts like Rachel’s, read way too many blog posts, and had a lot of rough mornings. Through all of that, I’ve compiled a list of things that are essential for an amazing morning routine:

Wake up at a consistent time

This was taken at approximately 5:30 a.m.. It’s moments like these that we’re missing out on in the morning.

I used to always use the excuse that my work schedule was consistently changing so that I couldn’t get up at the same time every day. Like I said above, college classes don’t prime most of us to be morning people either.

Simply rising at the same time every day will build a habit in your muscle memory. Eventually, you probably won’t need an alarm, because sleeping past that set time doesn’t feel “right” in your bones. In Rachel’s podcast, she talks about getting up with the sun, but you don’t have to jump from a noon wake up to getting up at dawn. Rather, find a time that works for you, your lifestyle, and serves you the best and stick to it. You deserve that consistency.

  • Here are some tips in how to start that process:
    1. – Use your alarm as an actual alarm – no snoozing!
    2. – Set yourself up with at least 8 hours of sleep the night before
    3. – Jump right into your routine so you don’t fall back asleep!

Don’t reach for your phone first

Technology is the lifeblood of my business. My phone is my alarm clock, list of reminders, and primary contact for everyone in my life. Between my Mac and my iphone, is about 20,000 photos that I sort through before posting every blog. So, not instantly reaching for my phone in the morning has been a hard pill to swallow.

When we grab our phones, even if we every intention of being productive, we usually end up on social media or playing a game. Responding to emails usually turns into mindlessly scrolling through Twitter which is not a way to start out of a productive day. Rather than spending your first couple minutes staring into a phone screen, use them to get out of bed, get yourself together, and clear your mind! Avoiding your phone for even 10 minutes can cut out some of the chaos that technology automatically gives us.

EAT SOMETHING!

My morning routine on my California vacation was actually really impressive. This was breakfast everyday! Thanks, Aunt Peg!

I’m clearly not a dietician. Throughout our lives, though, we’ve been told the importance of breakfast. Whether it was as an advertisement for a sugary cereal or by your middle school health teacher, it’s common knowledge that a well balanced breakfast sets you up for a good day. While sleeping is used to rest our minds, it’s also used as a period of fasting. The term breakfast literally comes from us breaking the fast that we’ve had overnight. So, whatever you’re choosing to break that fast with usually plays a big part in what you’ll eat throughout the day. If you reach for a super sugar breakfast, you’ll probably crave it at lunch and dinner as well. If you opt for something with fiber and protein, your other meals might look a little healthier too.

In general, it’s so important to get something in your body to start your day. Calories, carbs, and vitamins are what fuels us throughout the day. Without breakfast, we’re drawing from whatever we ate the night before which will definitely lead to a burn out.

Make your bed part of your morning routine

You can tell how productive my day is going to be by walking into my workspace. During COVID19, that workspace has been my childhood bedroom with ALL my gadgets stuffed into it. If my bed isn’t made, though, I’m not at my optimal level. I’m not working at 100%. A consistently unmade bed can also mean this in my life, but it’s always a signal that I’m not ready to be working at 100%. Making your bed is a super simple way to clean up your environment and manually remove some of the chaos that we encounter in our day to do. While other moments of uncertainty can not be avoided, we want to prepare ourselves by tackling all the ones that can be!

Make a list.

Bloggers love lists. I mean, for God’s sake, you’re reading one right now. For me, a list has been immensely helpful in ticking off the important stuff and remembering the not-so-important stuff. I typically scribble down lists in my bullet journal, which has become my absolute ride or die. But, if to-do lists aren’t really your thing, there are many other lists that can increase productivity and be a little more entertaining. 

  • Morning list ideas:
    • – 5 things you’re grateful for (I do this!)
    • -10 goals you have for your future self (I do this too)
    • -Affirmations, or really nice things you’d like to say to yourself and remember throughout the day
    • -Habit tracker – this one can get as complex or simple as you want it to, but it’s really interesting to look back and see what habits you think you’re doing that aren’t actually getting done
    • -Bible verse/quote of the day

Not only are these things going to inspire you to put a little pep in your step, but they might get your important head muscle working too. Writing lists like that can be everything our brain needs to wake up and be ready for whatever the day throws at us.

You are reading the blog of the biggest night owl around. I’ve gotten very comfortable with things that should be done in the morning being done before bed.

Like every other habit we build in life, though, morning routines take time, patience, and repetition. There are mornings when 8 a.m is not going to feel great. There are even more mornings where your list will have three points on it. But, you have to keep going. Routines are built when habits have formed in our brain. Sometimes, that means completely reteaching ourselves to be early birds, rather than night owls we’re prone to being. If you don’t have enough time, energy, or structure in your day, here’s one question: What is YOUR morning routine?

What would you do to supercharge your morning? What are you doing that’s totally working? Let me know by sliding into the DMs of any of my socials below – I want to hear from you!

Finding A Partner That Serves You

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The past couple months have been spent bundled up in quarantine. I wish I could say I put my bustling love life on hold to be safe and responsible in the midst of a pandemic. Truth is, though, I stayed safe and responsible because I didn’t have a bustling love life to put on hold.

For a long time, being SO single was a gigantic chip on my shoulder. I mean, who was I to speak on both platonic and romantic relationships if I didn’t have the second half? While in quarantine, however, I’ve realized that being single isn’t an indication of someone being unworthy. In the past, I didn’t allow myself to go on dates or even think about another partner because I was caught up in toxicity that was an on and off again relationship. I was single as a form of self harm – a controllable punishment as a result of a failed relationship.

I wanted my first Valentine’s Day single to be SO performative & impressive, but I was really just hurt and looking for some answers in the people around me.

As things started to heal, though, I surrounded myself with people whose romantic situations all looked a lot different. Some of them had on and off boyfriends that I could absolutely relate to. Others had been dating their partner for six years and still never fought. I had a lot of questions for them. I had hilarious guy friends who remained single by choice because they weren’t ready to settle down quite yet. All of these situations spoke to me in different ways. The people that I loved and respected didn’t have to be in relationships to feel whole.

I started to surround myself with more strong, independent women. We had all outgrown the chasing boys phase we once had and now could be found breaking it DOWN on the dance floor. When we spoke about new men in our lives, the tone was a bit different. Their intelligence and character was almost as important as their looks. More importantly, we didn’t need to have a suitor to be worthy. We didn’t need a partner to warrant the attention. The time that we spent single was used to unlock all that confidence in ourselves.

Below is an amazing Instagrammer (@naturally_nichole_) who recently got engaged & got me thinking about building a life with a partner that actually serves us! Clearly, she found the right one (CONGRATS, girl!) and she brings up an amazing point. Sometimes, we have to leave behind a life we know to build one that better serves us – that includes our love life! Nichole made me start thinking about changes I’ve started to make and those that I want to implement. That is growth, my friends.

Finding a partner that suits you can be extremely difficult. So often, we’re looking for someone to complete us but, we’re not half of anything. We don’t need another human to be whole. We don’t need a significant other’s touch to fix what we might view as broken. Rather, we need someone who compliments us. Sees the flaws as what they are – no sugarcoating, no gaslighting, no bullshit. We need someone who sees the flaws, acknowledges what they mean, and loves beyond them.

A partner that serves us encourages us to think differently, act differently, and behave differently without explicitly telling us to do so. They show parts of their experience that we’ve never seen. They check us when we’re horribly off base. Most importantly, they ask questions so that the confidence within you grows. If it all comes crashing down, they’re there to help you rebuild.

Everyone walks around with a fire inside them. You have it right now as you’re reading this. It could be roaring as you manage a huge business, get your doctorate, and make your sixth invention of the month. It could be just a teeny tiny spark; barely noticeable as you struggle to find your place. Regardless of what your fire looks like now, we enter all adult relationships with it and attempt to nurture it while doing a million other things. A good partner will nurture yours AND theirs. They won’t be intimidated by your glow, but applaud every level of success that you get to. They’ll push you to aim higher, ask what your new goals are, and love you even when you trip up. THAT’S a partner that serves YOU. That serves your fire. 

Guess what?! It’s okay to work on the fire before the partner! It’s okay to be a boss babe that sets all her work goals first. I mean, it is 2020, people. If you want to travel the whole world before you jump on a dating app…. Take lots of pictures! If you want to spend all your time writing blog posts instead of meeting “the one” in a Wisconsin bar… more time to save for a wedding!! The partner that we have for the long haul is for us. It’s not to prove to Nana, Mom, or Cousin Lucy that you’re worthy of love. They’ll see it when you finally have the one that serves you after checking all of your needs off the list. 

If you’re in the loop of “Why am I single?” bah-humbug, try this:

  • Surround yourself with more single people
  • Spend more time making money/projects/things than on dating apps
  • Follow more single people – this one is a life changer that you won’t even realize you did until you do it!!
  • Plan more trips with friends!
  • Let it go – odds are some beautiful sailor (who’s totally into mental health blogs & start up businesses) on leave for one night will magically bump into you when you’re at a girl’s night with all your friends but ONLY when you’ve stopped obsessing over the fact that you’re single

For right now, let the “partner that best serves you” be the people that know and love you most. It gets weird when life presents you with people who would be contenders in the past. The person that was tired of being single would have dated these partners in a heartbeat!! But, after some time being single, you’re actually willing to stand your ground, hold your standards, and wait for the person that’s actually going to serve you and your purpose.

Are you serving yourself first? Are you remembering that at the end of the day the world wants to see YOU it doesn’t care if your single, married, in a relationship, or divorced so show up and show off! Let’s chat on any of my socials below!