Nope, you are not dreaming! I’m back! After over a year of radio silence, I am writing again. The content never stopped on my social media accounts but when I started to think about writing… my mind went blank. Now, though, I can’t stop thinking about all I want to do with this blog, this business, and this life.
I Almost Gave Up
My last post was one that had been weighing on me emotionally for years. Almost all of the comments and reactions were positive. Yet, I still didn’t feel that relief I had anticipated when I hit “post” on a blog that included such a skeleton from my closet.
For so long, writing has been my escape from reality. I started writing on an anonymous Tumblr blog about all the things that bounce around a teenage girl’s mind: my first boyfriend, applying for college, and the loss of loved ones. Hitting “post” on those blogs helped me categorize and cope as a depressed, young girl. When I didn’t feel it this time, I was worried that maybe I’d lost my passion.
Anyone who makes money online knows how easy it is to get burnt out in doing it. When you work and play from your phone, the lines between the two get easily blurred. There comes a point where you start thinking of life in these opportune moments for content; rather than living in them and making content out of it later.
I fell into that hole was exhausting and miserable, but it’s almost like I couldn’t fathom giving up blogging and creating content for EmyD. There was something, even when I didn’t always feel it, that kept me coming back.
I Haven’t Been Doing Much
To be totally honest, EmyD has very much taken the back burner in my life. I think that’s why it was so easy to make excuses not to write and not to put in effort.
I spent the time working… a lot. I’ve had a great year in terms of success at my corporate job. I’ve done things and accomplished goals that I never thought I would. Putting in work to make it a success, however, effectively placed EmyD on the back burner of my life. Mental and physical exhaustion has made writing one of my last priorities – if I even feel inspired to do so at all!
I’ve also been spending the year healing; finally. I spent more time thinking that I was healed than actually putting in the work to do that healing. There were a lot of really difficult conversations I had to have with myself and had to constantly hold myself accountable. Now, I can confidently say that I’m still not healed, but that I am actively working in that direction.
I’m Back!
After a year of avoiding the blog, I’ve chosen to jump back in headfirst. Blogging and creating is really the only time I feel like “me” these days. This blog is a space for me, but also for you! It’s a lifestyle blog about *real* life. Just like life doesn’t fit into a perfect niche box, this blog will not fit perfectly either. Mental health, body positivity, and relationships are things I love writing about, but it doesn’t mean they will be the only thing I write about.
EmyDBlog is about life and learning how to love it by any means necessary. From everyday struggles to products that make my life easier, this is the closest you’ll be to the actual, chaos of thoughts bouncing around my brain. It is where I have shown up as my best self but also as my worst self (and will continue to do so, let’s be real). This EmyD community is a place where you can show up – exactly as you are – and feel loved, supported, and related to. I’m so happy you are here. And, I’m so happy I’m back.
Sound off on the socials below! Who’s excited for the newest chapter of EmyDBlog?!
** This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission, at no cost to you, if you make a purchase through one of the links!**
*TW: Sexual assault, domestic abuse, pregnancy, abortion
I’ve struggled to write this blog for years. Little blurbs that I want to make sure are included are sloppily typed in the Notes app, scribbled on scratch paper littering my office, and spoken into voice memos from random days. For so long, I didn’t know how to turn some of the worst moments of my life into something that would actually benefit someone. All the emotions and thoughts bouncing around my head were difficult to streamline into anything productive.
I have struggled with the implications putting this on the internet might have on me, my relationships, or my future. To not share my story, however, would mean that I wasn’t fully getting all the purpose from my pain. Today, on a day that sets our country back 50+ years, the words seem to sew themselves together pretty easily. It’s actually been somewhat easy to type the words I’ve been struggling with for so long: I had an abortion.
Setting Some Things Straight
Here on the blog, I share a lot of things that someone else might consider a “skeleton in the closet.” From the gruesome details of chronic pain to the lowest of my mental health lows, I have never felt ashamed in being honest about where I’ve come from. This is not an exception to that.
It has been a long time coming, but The Supreme Court’s direct attack on women’s rights makes this essential now. The face of abortion is not a bunch of high-school aged girls using it as a form of birth control or women making the “selfish” choice to live without the stress of a child. It’s mothers who are experiencing liver failure and risking her life. There’s women of all ages who simply cannot afford to have a baby or give a child any sort of quality life. It’s young girls and women that are victims of sexual abuse.
There’s wealthy women, incarcerated women, victims, unemployed women, wives, daughters, sick women, and so many more of us in between. One of the only things that we have in common is that we had to make decision that no one wants to make and now, we have to be synonymous with murderers because of it.
My Abortion Story
The Background
There’s a long, long story leading up to my abortion. Some of the details, however, aren’t helpful toward the goal of this blog. They’re wounds that I’ve exhaustively talked about with therapists and medical professionals on more than one occasion, but that have started to heal. So, I’ll give you the details that are important to the story while still guarding my heart a little.
The foundational information to this story is this: I got pregnant at 20 years old with an ex. The promise of “getting back together” left me really naive to the problems that we’d broken up over in the first place. I was still blind to all the instances of narcissistic abuse within my relationship. I’ve spoken about my experience with a partner displaying narcissistic tendencies, but I’ll never be able to really describe the day in and day outs of those days.
I saw what so many people beg to see, but felt nothing but pain, confusion, and darkness. One day, I will share this amazing, happy moment with a partner who’s equally as happy, rather than one that tells you all the reasons you can’t do it.
To say that I was innocent wouldn’t be truthful. As I’ve said before, I acted horrible in moments of hurt and pain. There were absolutely moments where I was adding toxicity to an already volatile relationship. And, as people are quick to point out, I do know what a consequence of sex is. Just as I answered when seeking an abortion, I was not convinced, blackmailed, or coerced into my decision. I would still make the same decision over again today if 50 years of women’s rights weren’t just stripped from me, that is.
The Reason
I don’t feel I need to give anyone a reason as to why I didn’t want to have a child at 20 years old. I definitely don’t feel like I have to prove instances of abuse within my relationship to be validated in that difficult choice. It was my body, my life, and my future that were affected in that moment.
Coming to the decision that I would choose abortion was the hardest thing that I’ve ever done. It was harder than dealing with the endometriosis pain since I started my period, losing 11 pounds because I couldn’t keep anything down while pregnant, or even having the actual abortion.
Obviously, there are so many horrible moments that lead up to this decision. I don’t want to give those moments life with a blog. The reason for my abortion doesn’t matter; sharing my story and putting a different face to something so stigmatized does. I’m sharing my story in hopes that it finds a woman that needs it. I just really hope that she knows that she doesn’t need a “good reason” to make a decision about her own uterus.
The Abortion: First Appointment
My first trip to the clinic was traumatic. My partner was not able to be there for some reason or another. So, my mom held my hand and soothed me as I walked into an appointment that would change my life.
Planned Parenthood of Wisconsin literally saved my life. They were paramount in getting me safe care, even though they were restricted by our state’s laws. They also helped me to get another form of birth control that has worked for me for years.
People approached our car and yelled to me about “all the other options”. There were other options, but none that would work for me. My decision had been made. Throughout the first appointment, the staff always had disclaimers about what they were able to do and say per Wisconsin State Law. They were obligated to use the word “baby” and made sure that I saw the ultrasound. That staff was forced by State Law to make this as unappealing as possible in hopes that the gravity of the decision would change my mind.
That gravity had been weighing on me since my first pregnancy test. The weight of which was making me very physically ill. I was anemic, dehydrated, and losing weight rapidly. The doctor prescribed some anti nausea medicine so that I could actually get my body some nutrients. Then, I was sent home. Wisconsin had a 48-hour minimum waiting period between the initial appointment and procedure. I think it was in hopes that I would change my mind. I didn’t. Don’t worry though, I could have immediately gotten a gun if I wanted it.
The Abortion: Second Appointment
My partner begrudgingly agreed to attend the actual procedure with me. Looking back, one of my parents would have been a better option as you can only have one guest. He had somewhere to be (which I later found out was someone to see) and let me know before we walked in. “This needs to be done by one. I have class,” he had said.
Because of my anxiety and depression, the clinic-appointment counselor had suggested the suction abortion method. It was one where ending my pregnancy was completely done by a doctor that day. No pills that my anxiety would probably cause me to throw up.
I was given 600 mg of ibuprofen and something to avoid infection as preparation. As I laid there, I gripped the hand of a stranger. No guests were allowed in treatment rooms or the recovery area. She asked me about shows I was watching on Netflix. It was a stupid conversation, but it kept the focus off the pain. I watched as the bedpan was taken away and only half listened as the doctor described what she had done to my body. My life had just completely changed in the presence of two strangers. It was overwhelming to say the least.
The recovery room was lonely, sterile, and distant. No guests are allowed to hold your hand or decompress with you per Wisconsin State Law. You spend the first moments after a terrible moment of your life with a juice, thick maxi-pad, and microwavable heating pad.
The Aftermath
My recovery was uncomfortable to say the very least. As someone that was very much struggling in my journey with endometriosis (another reason that motivated my abortion decision), my recovery was unique. When professionally done, the rate of complications only hover at about 1%. I was given a lot of grace from my family, friends, and workplace to recover at my own pace – a privilege very few women who seek abortions have.
My ex and I went no contact a year later after a particularly heated argument. From then on, my abortion has never been used against me. His exit from my life and an extensive therapy schedule was the start of my mental recovery. The days that I thought about it started to get fewer. Tears shed less frequently and in smaller waves. As with most past traumas, there are days that are harder than others. There is a lot more guarding of my heart now. Today, however, there are long periods of time where it won’t cross my mind even once.
I’m easily able to say that I made the right call. If I had to go back, I’d do it again. My story was just that: MY story. The more that I dealt with the recovery and trauma, I was able to truly understand that it had nothing to do with anyone else. On that day, I made the absolute best decision for me, my future, my mental health, my finances, my physical health, and my life for the ONLY person that would have to live through it all…me.
What Hitting Post Means
As I type this, I’m not sure what will come of hitting Post. I’m not sure what relationships in my life will change or how differently people will think of me. It could lose followers or supporters of my business. At the end of the day, though, I’ve felt my emotions about this skeleton. I’ve cried, screamed, and said worse things to myself than any stranger on the internet can say.
I’ve realized that hitting the Post button will not change my value to those that matter in my life. Hitting Post is something that I’ve felt I needed to do for so long. Now, more than ever, as our country steps into the scariest parts of our past. You are not alone and I will not stop fighting for us.
My Abortion in Perspective
My abortion story is one of so much privilege. I was able to seek safe abortion care in a clean facility. Nearly, 45% percent of women already have unsafe abortions due to lack of access. I had a support system for my mental and physical recovery. In the grand scheme, however, maternal deaths are increasing as the stigma of abortion care changes legislation. Overturning Roe vs. Wade is a direct attack on millions of women. They are women with so many different contexts and needs.
Restricting access to abortion care isn’t about protecting the lives of the unborn. The “Pro-Life” movement never cared about my life or the lives of women who are currently in my position. It’s about having power and control over lives that we then aren’t responsible for living. After all, Pro-Life certainly doesn’t mean pro-women lives or pro-quality of life.
I’m furious. I hope you are too. If you or someone you know can relate to this in some way, reach out. I am one of millions of people in this country that are by your side. Connect with me at any of the socials below. Fight with me here: abortionfund.org
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again – I’m here for a theme. We host a lot of themed parties and dinners. Themed movie marathons are something my friends are familiar with and Halloween is a big ordeal. Every year my friends and I have a mission of making some creative Halloween costumes! Check out these costumes that were past favorites of Evan of Wear Evs and mine!
Britney Spears
A Britney Spears costume is perfect if you’re in a place that’s typically cold for Halloween, you have long blonde hair to take advantage of, and you don’t mind taking a body suit off to pee!
What You’re Going to Need:
I made this cute little image with the things that I actually used for this outfit right here!
All Red Jumpsuit – I got mine on Amazon. They had lots of options.
Headset mic – We had one at home from our desktop computer days. They’re available online in costume form & at thrift stores!
Light Blue Eyeshadow – I did a light blue and white mixture! I also did ridiculously white highlight and thin brows!
Long, straight blonde hair with thick part – I was lucky to have done this for most of my middle school years LOL. Wigs are also a great option!
Star Boy
Evan dressed up as Star Boy from The Weeknd song! So cool! Almost all of the clothing on Wear Evs is thrifted – eco friendly, financially savvy, and one of a kind! I’ve linked some things that you can directly here!
What You’re Going To Need:
Star sunglasses
Blazer – One that you don’t mind painting or bedazzling with stars!
Star jewels (& maybe some lash glue?)
Star jewelry for extra zazz
Stanley Yelnats from Holes
In pandemic time, I dressed up at home as Stanley Yelnats. It was easy and so funny! I made a guide of all the things I used righthere.
What You’re Going to Need:
Classic orange jumpsuit or orange pants
White “dirty” undershirt – I bronzer to make it look like my shirt was stained from digging holes all day with a white shirt… they really didn’t think that through.
Shoes – Stanley had “stolen shoes” to get sent to Camp Greenlake so this is just funny.
Waterjug – Everyone has a milk jug with their name on it. Stanley = Caveman.
Red hat – Obviously, I had acmes to a Wisconsin Hat. Plain red hats are so easy to find though!
Special guest, Nala, the yellow-spotted lizard – I got her costume on Amazon as well!
Beetlejuice
Evan also went as Beetlejuice. SO cute and so fun! it’s not something you see all the time at all!
What You’re Going to Need:
Striped shirt
Halloween makeup
White/Bleach blonde hair – Evan was really rocking bleached hair in these days and it looked sick!
Black pants
TikTok-Era Ke$ha
There’s definitely a difference between going as Ke$ha when she was brushing her teeth with a bottle of Jack versus “Praying”-era Kesha. I went as the party girl Ke$ha not too long ago. It was cold, but something I got to be really creative with. Use what I used by following this link!
Should have had a bottle of Jack Daniels…SIGH!
What You’re Going To Need:
Edgy looking tank – I got mine at Forever21! It also has an open back, but I live in Wisconsin!
Fringe shorts, Cut jeans, Sequin Spanks – I wore a pair of Spanx that I had from dance. Paired with the oversized tank it was definitely the level of sexy and edgy that Ke$ha rocks!
Dark tights – I got mine at Target and made the holes myself! It was an added layer of warmth, but it was also a Ke$ha staple under jeans, shorts, and bodysuits!
Combat Boots – Sexy and edgy was the name of Ke$ha’s game! I had amazing combat boots that I wore all the time anyways! If they have studs, even better!
Messy makeup – I used a liquid eyeliner to do the melting look that she has on the “Take It Off” single cover! Then, you can use some loose sparkles too!
Vincent Van Gogh
If you have a super artist friend, you can go as a classic painting or painter! Evan and a friend went as Vincent van Gogh and Starry Night – it was so cool!
What You’re Going to Need:
Blazer – Make it look like the blazer is painted with fabric paint or acrylic! Again, thrifting this so that you can make it a costume piece is a great idea.
Makeup/Body Pain – Make sure that it’s safe for your face!!
(Optional) A Partner – Evan went with another artist friend who were able to create Starry Night! So cool and so creative if you have a friend or significant other you need to steal the show with.
Do you have a creative Halloween costume that was a big hit? Send it to me on any of the socials below! Big thanks to Wear Evs for being a constant supporter of the blog. Go check out his Instagram for thrifted fashion trends and massive closet sales! Also, check out this COOL event Evan put together for his job! I’ll be posting all about!
Sometimes, I feel like I’m an old woman in a mid-twenty body. The amount of muscle aches and joint cracks that I have throughout the day just doesn’t seem right. Years of sports, dancing, and studying with poor posture makes the chiropractor a must for me. Recently, though, I got a deep tissue massage to see if my pain would go away! Here’s how it went:
The Location I Chose
One thing that’s good about adulthood: you get gifts that actually make sense in your life. For Christmas, I now ask for upgraded kitchen appliances or linen rather than iTunes gift cards & bedazzled yoga pants I was asking for before
My parents loaded a hefty sum onto a gift card for me for my birthday to a local spa so I had to treat myself. It’s something I would never spend my actual money on, but desperately needed. Go to a spa with great reviews and make sure the massage therapist also have raving reviews! I went to Bellasazi in Janesville, WI and love it there! (Not sponsored, by the way – just a happy customer!)
The Process
First and foremost, I want to reiterate that my joints, muscles, and ligaments are effed up. One job, I sit at a desk or pose for photos and the other one I’m upright on a cement floor for 8 hours at a time. Neither really mend themselves to great musco-skelatal health. So, when the paperwork said to disclose every single time you were uncomfortable, I knew that I had to listen to my body. I knew that getting deep knots out of my shoulders wouldn’t feel like a feather. There were parts that were a little uncomfortable.
However, the massage therapist I saw was great at asking questions before we started, during, and even after the appointment. If something starts to actually hurt, don’t be afraid to make that known. Their job is to make you feel relaxed and rejuvenated. Unfortunately, they can’t read your mind – so it’s your job to speak up when something isn’t feeling too good!
That Being Said…
I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to speaking up at professional salons, clinics, and spas. I often gaslight myself into thinking that I’m making up pain or invalidate the uncomfortability I’m feeling in my stomach. So, I get not wanting to verbalize those feelings in that space. My advice: write down the specifics on your intake paperwork! If they don’t have paperwork, really consider if this is the place for you!
The Aftermath
I’ve only gotten a couple massages in my short life. Not because I don’t want to get them all the time, but because I’m bad at scheduling things JUST for me! In my life, self care usually comes in small doses. A massage feels like a big, luxurious dedication of time that I don’t often feel like I have. I definitely do have the time. It exists. I just have to make it a priority!
My selfie from right after the massage. Notice the headrest line on my forehead? LOL!
In the days following my massage, I felt a little bit of soreness in my upper body. It almost felt like something had been released and those muscles were still setting into place – like when you take trips to the chiropractor! Also, the places where we really had to focus on knots were obviously tender, but nothing too crazy! My massage therapist prepared me for these things. I was told to:
– drink lots of water
– stretch (roll my head and my shoulders before bed)
– focus on my posture at work for the next couple day
My Thoughts
Asking for a massage is always a good idea. That’s not a hot take, that’s just the truth. Most of us are much less likely to spend our money on an experience that benefits us like a massage rather than a bag or shirt – even though they can be so beneficial! It’s definitely worth the time and money to go to a clean, highly rated spa in your area that you trust.
Next time, I won’t wait until after I’ve hit a breaking point when it comes to back pain in hopes that it could be a little more relaxing for me! I will definitely be going again when I get a couple of days off to go and recover for maximum results. Deep tissue massages are the ultimate self care tool.
Like what you see? Read more blogs here! Connect with me on any socials for daily content and tell me your massage stories!
At a recent therapy session I was asked, “Who do you have in your corner? Who can you count on to always support you?” I was overwhelmed by this question. There’s a lot of names that come to my mind: family, friends, and coworkers. Knowing that having a dedicated support system is something that some in my shoes do not, I was able to easily name people who I know will always be there. The people in my life do quite a bit to be allies in my mental health journey. There are a couple of ways my friends have supported me and my mental illness that I aim to do with all my relationships!
Ways to Support Your Friends with Mental Illness
Everyone’s mental illness and mental health needs are different. First off, this is not a one size fits all. I’m also NOT a mental health professional, doctor, or therapist. There’s nothing about this blog that is medical advice – only sharing what has been a huge benefit in my own life!
Number 1: Communicate!
The darkest part of my mental health journey was accompanied with pushing away those I loved most. I felt like a burden on their happiness because I wasn’t happy. One thing that really benefitted me was my best friends always communicating with me, even when it was really hard. I credit my friend, Taylor, for saving my life because when I stopped communicating she continued asking questions, encouraging me, and reaching out to my parents when things got scary.
It can be really hard to verbalize all the things going on in your mind when you’re struggling. However, knowing that you have someone who won’t hate or judge can be an actual lifesaver.
Number 2: Normalize Conversations about Mental Health!
Half of American adults with major depressive disorder will go without treatment this year. We have a serious lack of mental health resources in this country. Those that we do have tend to be pricey and not realistic for the average American. People also avoid getting treatment because of the stigmas that surround all mental illnesses. Emotional and mental health are just as important as physical health. No one is embarrassed to talk about their broken arm; we have to approach mental illness in the same way!
If one of your friends is having a hard time coping with a diagnosis or difficult mental health period, normalize the convo! Being candid about your own mentality (even if you don’t suffer from mental illness) can open the floor for conversation. Also, when people know that their support system does occasional “mental health checks” they are much more likely to reach out in a time of emergency or serious need!
Number 3: Be Patient!
This blog, or millions of blogs, will not be enough to truly say how lucky I am with my support system. One thing I can never repay is the amount of patience that those around me have given in my rough times. Sometimes, those struggling can be the hardest to love. We’re angry, sad, happy, excited, depressed, numb, and every emotion in between. It’s hard to keep up with it all.
Roomie is a huge supporter of my mental health! Who’s yours?
Friends might flake, drop the ball, and be ugly towards you because of how they feel about themselves. I can confidently say it’s nothing to do with you. One of the hardest things you’ll ever do is continuing to invite, communicate, and encourage someone who is not reciprocating or acknowledging your time. It does, however, make a huge difference to those suffering so DON’T feel like it’s for nothing!
Number 4: Know Your Limits!
All of number 3 being said, you need to know your limits when it comes to other’s mental health and your own. Unless you’re a parent or guardian of a child, you’re never responsible for another human’s well-being. You, my friend, always need to make sure you’re healthy first!
In the past, I’ve had a serious problem with trying to take a lot of others’ mental health problems on my plate in order to avoid my own issues. If being an advocate for another’s mental health is causing you to go to a bad place, PLEASE STOP! You don’t do anyone any good when you’re also hurting.
Number 5: REPORT WHEN NECESSARY!
Again, I’m absolutely not a professional here… but when I say sometimes you need to report, I’ve never been more serious. Having friends who aide in your mental health journey can be a huge advantage, but it’s NOT a fix all. Everyone’s struggle is different. Personally, I’ve needed professional help, medicine, and my loved ones’ support to get through some of the hardest times in my depression and anxiety.
It took my friend “reporting” to really confirm to my parents that I needed professional help. Don’t be afraid to let someone know what’s going on in case of an emergency – it might cause tension at first, but it could save a life!
Thoughts? Story to share? Connect with me on my socials below!
I’ve spent way too much time trying to describe what I do to people who don’t really care either way. That’s not supposed to be self-deprecating or a slight to me at all. Truly, it doesn’t matter what the day-to-day tasks of a “PR Strategist” are in the grand scheme of their lives; yet, I always go into detail talking about it. I lacked confidence in what I was doing for so long that I projected that onto those around me. In other words, I just assume that they think my job isn’t real. Stupid, I know. If there’s one thing I’ve learned through my early 20s & a global pandemic, it’s that paying the bills (in any way, shape, or form) & normalizing the jobs we love is pretty cool.
Call It A “Side Hustle”
I’ve worked at a restaurant for five years now. It’s been a huge source of my income throughout college and even after I graduated. Society made me feel like working as a server, bartender, or shift manager in the food service industry was almost embarrassing because of my education level. Expectations of our college graduates had me looking for jobs that didn’t sound remotely interesting because I couldn’t work in a restaurant
forever.
I liked my job so much that I told my baby brother to work there too – so we’re roomies, coworkers, siblings, and friends. Crazy, right?
First off, I want to say that you can do whatever makes you happy for your whole life. You can serve, teach, write, coach, strip, or mine bitcoin if that’s what makes you happy and pays the bills. Who has the right to tell you otherwise? Second, working that restaurant job that I thought I had to move on from so quickly allowed me to fund my own business that was making absolutely NO money at first.
Knowing Your Worth
There’s a difference between doing what brings you joy and knowing your worth. Also, it’s important to understand that no matter what your education level, class, or financial standing, your time is worth money. Having a food service job has allowed me to price myself fairly in all aspects of my business. I have education and experience in this career, there is no reason that I should be making a larger hourly wage as a server. If that’s the case, find clients, brands, and businesses who will pay you FAIRLY!
I’m lucky that I really like both my jobs – I mean… I get paid to do skincare routines on Instagram. NORMALIZE DOING NONCONVENTIONAL AND FUN JOBS!
End Goal: Paying the Bills
I’ve always had a weird relationship with money. Even when I have a good amount of it saved, I want to know I have more constantly coming in. I want to be finding ways to increase my income streams. Watching two parents hustle for as long as I have, it’s part of my nature to just want to work really really hard for as long as humanly possible!
The end goal, however, is always to pay the bills. Like millions of others in the United States, I have thousands of dollars in student loan debt that makes for a hefty bill each month. If I can have a business AND a restaurant job that alleviates some of the stress of that bill, why wouldn’t I? Paying your rent, filling your fridge, and treating yourself is nothing to turn your nose up to. Those who judge you for the way that you pay your bills probably aren’t the ones we want to be taking financial advice from. Am I right?
Normalizing the Jobs We Love
If you’re paying your bills, you’re doing pretty well. The fact that we turn up our nose at certain jobs or industries even though they’re what bring us joy seems silly. Unless those pushing you to be a lawyer are going to be paying your mortgage, they don’t really have a say in law school!
If you need more proof, Giorgio Armani worked as a photographer’s assistant while on leave from the Italian military because he was obsessed with the art, fashion, and creativity aspect of life. He made $1.67 an hour but did what he loved and eventually paid WAY more than the bills (he’s worth $6.6 million dollars). Normalizing jobs we love isn’t a way of accepting average but realizing that we’re usually money magnets when we’re happy.
Have something to share? Connect with me on any of my socials below!
Recently, my roommate said something that I absolutely loved. “A lot of people that we look up to as ‘role models’ never asked for that. They were just really good at running, singing, or posting pics… so we decided they had to be role models,” she said. Until now, I didn’t really think about it. Of course, we want to be someone that others can look up to but does that risk our ability to be human, make mistakes, and live the life we want. Even though I put my life online, I’m not your barbie girl with the best answers or choices.
Potty Mouth Barbie
First things first, I’m a total potty mouth. If I feel like a sentence needs “fuck” in it, I will absolutely not be leaving it out. For a long time, I craved for my blog to be almost editorial; ready for a newspaper. I had an editor making grammar calls and changing sentence structure for a more intelligent sounding entry. In those moments, I really lost my voice and what I wanted my blog to feel like.
Editorial, perfected blogs are amazing, but I wanted my blog to feel like you were sitting down with a friend for drinks. I wanted the perfect middle ground between a Myspace post and a newspaper article. Part of that was allowing my writing to match my actual voice and being relatable in that way. So, I stopped censoring swear words and internet slang. I allowed myself to write in the way that I love and knew that the passion behind the words would bring the right audience to my website.
Do I want kids to drop the f-bomb in their papers? No. There’s a time and place for my style of writing (like a website that you own for an LLC that you pay for). Do I want my audience members to take all my words as law because I run a decently popular blog? Nope. I’m just trying to write about my experiences and relate to those who need it. Just let me write and speak, damn.
Party Girl Barbie
I was previously really nervous about posting photos/videos with alcohol in them. Truth is, though, I drink alcohol! I get drunk! Sometimes, I have too much, say stupid things, and stumble home at bar close. Sharing that, however, doesn’t mean I want my followers to drink, do drugs, or party.
I never claimed to be someone for the kids to look up to nor did I want others to see my Instagram photos and want to be me. Instead, I claimed to be someone who was willing to share my experiences with the world in hopes that someone can feel less alone. Obviously I hope that people read my blogs, like my photos, and interact with the content I’m creating, but it’s not the driving factor in my life. I know that my words, actions, and lifestyle do really relate to & entertain some people… it’s not my job to cater to the masses.
This brings up a larger conversation about people being raised, overwhelmingly affected, and easily influenced by those in the media. Sha’Carri Richardson will miss an opportunity to run at the Tokyo Olympics because she tested positive for marijuana. My feelings on those who vilify marijuana use is a story for a different blog. Sha’Carri never asked to be a role model; never claimed to be someone that young runners, women, or black girls should be looking up to. She was a good runner who wanted to go to the Olympics – why did that qualify her to teach the youth of America right from wrong?
Understanding My Responsibility
As someone who does have people following them and giving a shit about what I say, I have an inherent amount of responsibility. It’s my responsibility to be a kind, empathetic, and loving human being. When there are moments of injustice, it’s my responsibility to stand up for what’s right.
While I might not have asked to be a role model, I understand that people do read my words and can be influenced by my actions. I want to be very, very clear here: I’m human. My social media presence is about confidence in who you are as a person, but it’s not a G-rated movie with a moral to present at the end. My words are for the person who needs the unapologetic & gritty truth about being an adult in the world we live in. It’s about seeing my mistakes and successes so that you can feel empowered to win and fail by yourself.
So, no, I’m not your Barbie girl. For those of you who don’t like that about me – no hard feelings! There are so many awesome content creators out there doing amazing things. Find the right one for you! Those of you who are here for all of this, thank you for your constant and overwhelming support!
Connect with me on my (sometimes NSFW) social media pages below!
I recently polled my followers to pick a topic for a blog. They seemed to want to know what I would do “If I Had a Redo” – which threw me through a bit of a loop. If you’ve never read EmyD Blog before, I typically like to find purpose in even the worst things. Seriously – As someone with mental illness, sometimes seeing the silver lining is all that gets you through. That doesn’t mean, however, that I don’t have regrets, moments of embarrassment, and moments that I would change if I had a redo.
My Answer: College
A simple answer for you: college. I’ve thought about that a lot. All the things that I could have done, probably should have done, but didn’t because of the place that I thought should have been. I’m not here to throw shade at a 19 year old, EmyD. She had enough shit going on. I will, however, tell the things that I wish I did. So, if this blog finds itself on the screen of someone else who might have their true self invested all the way into someone else (or something else) they just might have the courage to take it all on solo.
Redo 1: I would actually stay at college more!
I went to the University of Wisconsin – Madison. It’s about 40 minutes from my hometown. Throughout my freshman year, I had that drive so memorized I could have done it backward and blindfolded. A job in my hometown was my excuse to come home and see my high school boyfriend every weekend. “I needed to make money,” was the excuse I gave my dorm friends, as if we didn’t live in the state capital of Wisconsin and I wasn’t working at a chain restaurant. In actuality, I was just scared that he would forget about me if I was away for too long.
Advice from EmyD
Take it from me, friends. If your partner forgets about you, they are not a good enough partner to keep around. Also, if you’re feeling insecure in your relationship enough to need it consistently validated, that’s a conversation that needs to be had. If you’re insecure in yourself that you think you can’t find better, that’s a conversation you need to have with you.
Redo 2: I wouldn’t have transferred!
Transferring did save me a ton of money (and probably mental breakdowns) but it was absolutely not a choice I would make again. At first, I would only tell people that I had transferred for the money aspect and because I was going to end up in law school anyways. In truth, I definitely transferred for a boy; for a relationship. We could both tell that our relationship was coming to an end and began to get desperate in our actions to save what we’d had since our freshman year of high school: moving in together, trying to raise a little puppy, and going to the same university. I still have two degrees and did the damn thing, but I wish it would have been at the better school I earned my way into.
Advice from EmyD
If there’s one thing I want written on my grave, it’s “Do not change your dreams for your partner!” in the boldest font you can find. I’m serious. Having goals and dreams is really cool, someone that cares about you should want to support you to achieve them! Remember that you are NOT half waiting to be completed. You are a whole looking for someone to compliment your whole self!
Redo 3: I would have broke it off, honey!
I was about halfway through my freshman year when my long term (and long distance) boyfriend cheated on me with a girl in his dorm. Did I swear off men for all eternity? Yes. Did I also take him back like two weeks later? Also, yes. My roommate was pissed. I chalked it up to her not liking me at the time, but now I realize that she was being a really good friend. The few and far between times that I did go out or go to meetings for things I was interested in I met a lot of cool guys that I really would have meshed with well. It almost always led to fights via text with the boyfriend. After our breakup, I started to realize that the only way I would heal my own negative inner dialogue was time alone. If I didn’t think I was worth someone faithful and kind, I would always turn back to him.
Advice from EmyD
At 19, I felt like I had to be as adult as I possibly could. I had to have a serious boyfriend and settle down as fast as possible. While life is short, you’ve gotta experience it. You should not waste a single ounce of your energy begging for someone’s love, attention, or friendship. You are always worthy of kindness. Even being alone is better than someone who doesn’t see that in another person.
So, would I really redo it?
Yes. I know that reading this blog makes it seem like I hated years 18-22 of my life. That’s not true at all. I had some of the most amazing moments of my life in my college years. I wouldn’t trade them, or the people within them, for anything! However, there are certainly some parts of college that I would redo if I had the chance. There’s lessons that I absolutely had to learn so that 24 year old EmyD could write this for you today. The good, bad, beautiful, and ugly have all played a part in who I am now.
What would you redo if you had the chance? Tell me on any of the socials below!
** This post may contain affiliate links which means I may receive a commission, at no cost to you, if you make a purchase through one of the links**
I’ve teamed up with Ad Council and Heartbeat to help people get informed about the COVID vaccine! As someone who’s fully vaccinated, it’s easy for me to encourage everyone I meet to also get the vaccine, but it’s so important to have accurate and timely information at your fingertips that are actually CDC-credited. My vaccine experience was really positive and the information from AdCouncil is still helpful over a month later!
My Experience: Dose One
I got my first dose in late March through work. The restaurant in which I work has a contract in which we deliver food to locations where COVID exposure is a possibility. Since we were working with front line workers and those being sponsored by the state, hospitals, nonprofits, etc. we were blessed to get vaccines relatively early compared to others in Wisconsin.
Other than waiting for a bit for my turn, my first dose was awesome! The only side effect that I had was a lot of muscle pain in my right arm. Other than that, I felt great! I had to wait 3 weeks for my second dose as I got the Pfizer vaccine.
My Experience: Dose Two
I went to the same place for dose number two. With so many people trying to get in for their second dose or finally get their first in Wisconsin, the pharmacy was popping to say the least! The turn around time of this one was actually much faster and easier. My experience with dose number two was also really great! To be honest with you, I felt like Superwoman when my pharmacist handed me the fully filled-out vaccine card.
I did experience some side effects with dose number two. Honestly, with everything I had been reading, I was expecting to feel like I was on my death bed. Instead, I felt really run down: sleepy & achey. It was almost like I had a bad 16 hour cold. Truly, that was it, 16 hours of aches and pains to be fully vaccinated.
Would I do it again?
Yes, in a heartbeat. I was extremely blessed to be able to quarantine with my family for most of the pandemic, so I got to see them. The pandemic, though, made me really value just a small get together (and a good dive bar…). I’ve been able to go out to eat without as much stress about contracting the virus and passing it on, seen my grandma, and finally been able to give hugs! Before getting my vaccine, I wasn’t always comfortable in these social situations or I’d at least feel guilty after.
Should you get it?
As your residential mental health & lifestyle blogger, I have absolutely zero credentials in telling you the benefits of getting vaccine versus remaining unvaccinated. However, I think that you should make the most informed decision you possibly can. Preferably, that decision would be made with with accurate and timely information from the Center of Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Check out AdCouncil’s website for important for you and your age group in terms of the COVID19 vaccine!
Wanna share your experience with me? Connect with me on one of the socials below or head to my ‘Work with Me‘ page!
I’ll be honest. I don’t really follow the Kentucky Derby, nor do I really feel the need to gamble on that. I mean, how do we really know the horse just isn’t having a bad mental health day? What if they don’t want to run? Alright, I kid. You guys get the point though. This year, I heard that the winner has a pretty good story for those of us in need of a good life lesson.
The Background of Medina Spirit
Medina Spirit was as underdog as you can get when it comes to a big event like the Kentucky Derby. People will pay a pretty penny for the best bloodline of a horse that offers the best chance at winning the Derby. Media Spirit, however, was bought for only $1,000.00 – that’s cheap even for your everyday family horse!
The trainer that would eventually win with Medina Spirit, Bob Baffert, said the horse had “no fucking chance to win.” In fact, he was even pleasantly surprised that such a small and meager animal had made it to the Derby at all. He got on the horse expecting to beat by another horse in the competition.
My client, Lorraine Beato, just made an awesome post about this – check it out below:
To everyone’s surprise, the small horse purchased for one thousand dollar started in the lead and maintained it through the finish line. Medina Spirit’s worth became $1.85 million dollars on May 1st, 2021 despite even his trainer’s thoughts.
So, What’s the Life Lesson Here?
There were a lot of people betting against Medina Spirit – literally. There were millions of dollars put on other horses in the race purely because of the horse’s size, muscle mass, and background. Still, the horse ran. The person they depended on most, their trainer, said they had no chance. Still, the horse ran.
There are going to be times in life where the people that we want validation from the most are our biggest naysayers. We still are going to have to run. People are going to scream hatred because of what our bodies look like, what our minds can do, and what our past has been made up of. Still, we must run.
It’s not for the people in the stands or the trainer. The others who raced against you will want to flex that they know you and your story. Running forward despite the setbacks, however, is for you. It’s to prove that the only person on this entire planet that can really set your worth is you. If you choose to show up as a $1.85 race horse, then the world will know you by literally nothing else.
