Who am I? I could get specific and spout of my ancestry or where my distant relatives came from. I might even divulge that sulfa-based medication gives me hives. Give me a couple drinks and I just might whisper some secrets. But, who AM I? I mean, who am I really in the grand scheme of things?
Events That Answer “Who Am I?”
Believe it or not, a global pandemic helped make this question not as intimidating to me. I realized that it’s a question that doesn’t have to be answered in one day or a moment. That from the moment we come into this world to the moment we leave it, we’re working on answering the question. There are events in our life that help us a little more than others in the solution, of course.
For me, COVID-19 was a big one. It helped me to realize that living my life wasn’t dependent on the opinions of my friends or how many times I was invited to the bars each week. A happy life isn’t dictated by the amount of social engagements on the calendar, but by your ability to love, respect, and find happiness within yourself. At the start of all of this, I couldn’t find those things within myself. I really thought I could, but I relied too much on the validation of outside forces to find love on the inside for who I am.
At the end of the day, who you are is a big melting pot full of the people you’ve met, the things you’ve been through, and the beliefs that were instilled in you from those most important. All of us would like to believe that our melting pot is the best of the best, right?
This year, especially, I’ve tried to be understanding. I’ve tried to empathize, forgive, and understand as never before. I’ve tried to wrap my head around things that just stemmed from hatred without any luck. All the while, I’ve been asking myself where I fit in all of this?
As 2021 began, I was numb. There is not a doubt in my mind that 2020 was the most difficult of my life by far – and I spoke zero words to my ex! I was extremely negative about what 2021 had to offer me as cases of Coronavirus raged, our politics remained hateful, and we were surrounded by really heart wrenching things. I began to realize, however, that 2020 is not me. It’s not any of us.
It’s a chapter, maybe a long one, in our story that affects the overall plot. It takes our character arch through a loop that we never expected. If I didn’t let it, though, it didn’t have to alter who I am.
I’ve started journaling a lot more in 2021. My original journal entries were only so that I had evidence of all the ugly things that my boyfriend at the time was doing to me. As we broke up, it became a place that I could cry. It was essentially a book about a man that hurt me a lot. Now, my journal is a place in which I grow, learn, and wonder about myself and life around me.
My WHO AM I Journal/Goal Setting Prompt:
Who am I, right now, in 5 describing words? Are these words that I would like someone else to use when describing me? These words are constantly changing. Always and forever. Is there a word that you’d like to change sooner? How has the stuff that made you feel not so good been ways to make you realize who you are? Who do you want to be?
Do you journal? Share with me at any of the social profiles below!